I have a sister who behaves unkindly towards me and DH by extension. She has accused me over the years of not being there enough for her but moves the goalposts each time, here’s an example: she invited me to pilates two weeks ago but I couldn’t make it due to picking up some overtime to help out at work. I suggested a coffee at hers for her convenience the day after but she declined and said she didn’t deserve to be treated the way I treat her and asked me for space. I immediately apologised but explained I was confused and she said the reason was because I’m not present enough and she deserves people who make an effort to see her. I then gave her the space she asked for and now she is telling everyone she feels rejected and upset that I don’t care about her and am missing out on so much of her baby’s life by never coming around. But she asked me to stay away?!
She’s a SAHM to her lovely first baby born nearly four months ago now. This pattern has been ongoing probably for over a year now, long before the baby. I’m not enough for her and she needs more out of our relationship but also refuses to come up with her own suggestions. FWIW she has lots of friends and two SIL who could go with her, one only lives five mins away and also doesn’t work, but she just seems to want a lot from me
I am wondering if we legitimately have crossed wires or if it sounds a bit more deliberate than that, to a total outsider?