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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

OH nagging for a working dog since ours died

53 replies

justasking111 · 02/04/2023 13:51

OH always had working dogs. Ours died in February last year. We still have one who's lonely. Said he wanted another so in the autumn I found a litter arranged everything. He backed out as we were about to leave. Very embarrassing to contact owner who was understandably pissed off. OH then bleated I'd stopped him having a dog. Found another litter today. I'm in bed with flu. He dithered about that, Just now said no my aunt had one and it was disobedient.

But he'll still moan to others that I won't let him have one. Did last weekend at an event.

AIBU to call him out every time he blames it on me?

OP posts:
Antiquiteas · 02/04/2023 15:45

He sounds like a shit dog owner and a shit husband.

AppallinglyReheated · 02/04/2023 15:45

Mmm.. get the cat of your dreams. If he doesn't like it he might piss off, win win!

OrlandointheWilderness · 02/04/2023 15:54

Well given the amount of time and training it takes to get a pup to full working trained dog (I'm assuming gundog here?) I wouldn't on the basis that it doesn't sound like he's invested enough in it to put that time in.

Pixiedust1234 · 02/04/2023 15:55

Bring in the cat and put the OH out with the milk bottles.

Good on you for going for a lovely holiday with your (adult) child and grandchildren , I'm sure you will have a blast with lots of laughs and giggles!

Use that time to evaluate your relationship and finances.

shutthewindownow · 02/04/2023 16:04

Stop pandering to him
He is a pain in the arse
Stand up for yourself

catsrus · 02/04/2023 16:10

justasking111 · 02/04/2023 13:51

OH always had working dogs. Ours died in February last year. We still have one who's lonely. Said he wanted another so in the autumn I found a litter arranged everything. He backed out as we were about to leave. Very embarrassing to contact owner who was understandably pissed off. OH then bleated I'd stopped him having a dog. Found another litter today. I'm in bed with flu. He dithered about that, Just now said no my aunt had one and it was disobedient.

But he'll still moan to others that I won't let him have one. Did last weekend at an event.

AIBU to call him out every time he blames it on me?

I don't really understand - working dogs are dogs that work and do a job, gun dogs, shepherding dogs etc. What work did your old dog do? did your dh train it? what work will the new dog do?

Do you mean a dog from working lines but who will not work? why? what will he do to keep the dog's mind occupied?

His lack of ability to organise anything doesn't sound like a good fit for any working breed dog tbh. And yes, if he wants one let him sort it.

Mummyoflittledragon · 02/04/2023 16:41

I’d get the cat. Your lonely dog might love a new addition.

diddl · 02/04/2023 17:20

Antiquiteas · 02/04/2023 15:45

He sounds like a shit dog owner and a shit husband.

Yup.

Op why did you phone the breeder to tell them no?

Would the dog that you've still got like a cat for company?

QueenBee1234 · 02/04/2023 17:31

So he didn't see it through to the end with the old dog? I know some people disagree but I don't think you should get a dog if you can't be with it for it's final moments, you shouldn't have all of the fun and love if you can't give it comfort one last time.
Aside from that, who made him the boss of you? He wants this, he wants that and you just arrange it...tell him to sort his own pets and holidays from now on, he'll probably stay at home alone as he won't do either!

TaunterOfWomenInGeneralSaysSayonarastu · 02/04/2023 17:43

When it got sick , old I did the vet, when it had accidents got dementia I was there. When he was PTS I was there till the end he was too sensitive apparently.

He doesn't deserve a dog.

& I would make sure to tell everyone he bleats on at about not being "allowed" a dog the reasons why.

TheNoodlesIncident · 02/04/2023 17:50

He sounds incredibly annoying and you sound totally fed up with it. Why do you keep him around? You can't enjoy being bossed around by a lazy lying moaning dictator, so what's in it for you?

I'd move on, and get the cat and enjoy my holidays with DS. Life's too short for that shit.

GoodChat · 02/04/2023 17:59

He's an arsehole OP. Get rid of him and get the cat.

InSpainTheRain · 02/04/2023 18:18

Forget the dog, there seem to be more serious problems here. "I was told to do the research" "I want a ragdoll cat but I'm banned" "He blames it on me". Please have a long hard think whether you should be in this relationship - it seems to be about control and blame, not a loving relationship with a small disagreement about a dog.

Tealsofa · 02/04/2023 18:20

justasking111 · 02/04/2023 13:59

Well I would but was told to do all the research and ato find one which I did.

Me I'd like to have a ragdoll cat but I'm banned

Show quote history

Told??

MrsMullerBecameABaby · 02/04/2023 18:27

Is he a farmer by any chance? Have you been married several decades?

You might as well do what you want pet and holiday wise and call him out every time he lies about you not "letting" him do things. He'll never change so you might as well do what you want and stop following his nonsense contradictory "instructions".

Summerishere123 · 02/04/2023 18:34

Get the ragdoll! I have too and adore them!

WhereYouLeftIt · 02/04/2023 18:46

Get the cat. Enjoy Portugal. Roll your eyes visibly every time he whines.

Cherrysoup · 02/04/2023 19:13

I wonder if this is a much wider issue? Why is everything left to you? Get yourself to Portugal! Villas are all very well, but I bet you’d end up catering.

Original poster
justasking111 · 02/04/2023 19:24

Cherrysoup · 02/04/2023 19:13

I wonder if this is a much wider issue? Why is everything left to you? Get yourself to Portugal! Villas are all very well, but I bet you’d end up catering.

That's why me and DIL don't want a villa, the catering especially with the grandchildren. DIL works hard. These days it's not even cheaper.

OP posts:
HeechulOppa · 02/04/2023 19:26

Honey, it sounds like you need to put the whole husband in rice

bamboonights · 02/04/2023 21:26

EineReiseDurchDieZeit · 02/04/2023 14:00

This doesn't sound like a marriage it sounds like teenagers

You took the words right of my mouth. Sound too immature to own a goldfish.

ThereIbledit · 02/04/2023 21:36

Honey, it sounds like you need to put the whole husband in rice

😆

She's not wrong. Buy the ragdoll, go on the holiday and do not lift another damn finger for the defective husband.

Codlingmoths · 02/04/2023 22:26

justasking111 · 02/04/2023 15:34

I've decided I'm going to Portugal with or without him. He's had tons of holidays without me over the years with mates. Son had chosen a lovely hotel right on the beach. So I'll go with them and grandchildren. He can stuff it. I've organised so many holidays that he's moaned about

Yay! Let this be the start of you living life for you!! Just stop paying any attention to the miserable twat.

KatherineJaneway · 02/04/2023 23:27

Antiquiteas · 02/04/2023 15:45

He sounds like a shit dog owner and a shit husband.

Agree

DrinkFeckArseBrick · 02/04/2023 23:37

Why are you with him OP? From what you've written, he orders you about, lies about you infront of you and other people, blames you for his own lack of organisation and decision making, has the final say on all joint decisions and criticises everything you do.

The dog part is the tip of a large and particularly nasty iceberg

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