Is this social anxiety?

Wat2do222 · 2023-04-02T10:25:04+00:00

The thought of 'going out' makes me anxious. Dressing up (or not) traveling, meeting new people, sometimes new environment - instant angst. Once I am there, perfectly fine, usually great time had, lovely to be in a room with other humans, good food, great conversations, laughs, connections etc...is this social anxiety?

NQOTDarling · 02/04/2023 11:36

No, it's perfectly normal. Most of us are anxious to a degree before new, and sometimes familiar, situations.
We worry about getting public transport, chatting to strangers, being somewhere new.
Don't put yourself into some medicalised box (like man flu not a cold!); you don't have a diagnosable 'social anxierty'

WandaWonder · 02/04/2023 11:38

I don't think everything needs a label

I am feeling old and would rather be in bed watching TV than going out on an evening

I don't really care what it s called

Original poster

Wat2do222 · 02/04/2023 11:47

I agree totally, not in to labels but I have had these feelings since childhood I think. I thought I was socially anxious but actually I'm not, I just hate the build up if that makes sense? Can you tell I'm due to go out today 😂

OP posts:

Thelnebriati · 02/04/2023 12:22

Do you get the same way before other events, like an exam? If so it could be anticipatory anxiety, and there are ways to manage it.

Sprinkles21 · 02/04/2023 20:11

I have social anxiety, one example I had to attend a baby shower very close family member small party would of caused 'an issue if I didn't attend. I worried about it every day for weeks before, meticulously planned and ordered an outfit plus gift, couldn't sleep the night before, had to take propranalol to get dressed to counteract my heart palpitations and threw up 10 minutes before leaving the house, the entire time I was there I was physically shaking and sweating, didn't dare eat, felt sick to my stomach when I had to play games and felt very stupid the whole time with a fake smile on my face. Left as soon as I could go without looking too rude, cried in the car all the way home and curled up on my sofa physically and mentally exhausted. This I admit is one of my most severe social anxiety experiences but I get a level of this everytime I'm expected to be somewhere even with the closest of friends, I also had this in unhappy workplaces one of which I would regularly have to pull over on the way to work to throw up just to get there. I'd say if you actually enjoy the social experience or event it's more likely anxious butterflies than social anxiety

Coastalvenues · 02/04/2023 20:13

Sprinkles21 · 02/04/2023 20:11

I have social anxiety, one example I had to attend a baby shower very close family member small party would of caused 'an issue if I didn't attend. I worried about it every day for weeks before, meticulously planned and ordered an outfit plus gift, couldn't sleep the night before, had to take propranalol to get dressed to counteract my heart palpitations and threw up 10 minutes before leaving the house, the entire time I was there I was physically shaking and sweating, didn't dare eat, felt sick to my stomach when I had to play games and felt very stupid the whole time with a fake smile on my face. Left as soon as I could go without looking too rude, cried in the car all the way home and curled up on my sofa physically and mentally exhausted. This I admit is one of my most severe social anxiety experiences but I get a level of this everytime I'm expected to be somewhere even with the closest of friends, I also had this in unhappy workplaces one of which I would regularly have to pull over on the way to work to throw up just to get there. I'd say if you actually enjoy the social experience or event it's more likely anxious butterflies than social anxiety

That really does sound dreadful, you poor thing 😞 xxx

Original poster

Wat2do222 · 03/04/2023 15:55

@Sprinkles21 oh my goodness that sounds so debilitating 😢 when did this start for you?

OP posts:

Sprinkles21 · 05/04/2023 17:29

Thank you actually mid 20s but now mid 30s its worse I have to say my life has changed vastly in that time though I'm mostly isolated from the outside world due to my caring needs of my severely disabled daughter had to give up work and slowly lose more and more outside connections, I'd love to go back to being a human being again aswell as a mum/carer but this isn't possible due to zero disability wraparound or childcare. It definitely started before all that though small butterflies I do think the majority of my social anxiety comes from the low self worth which unfortunatly is exasperated by my personal circumstances. In my teens I was a social butterfly

Cherryblossomtreesforever · 05/04/2023 17:33

I haven't set foot in a supermarket since March 2020. The way I feel at the moment I honestly don't think I ever will again. (Everything is done online).
Nothing to do with covid (although that was when it all began during that first lockdown).
Agoraphobia is crippling. Just leaving the house makes me feel like I'm floating off somewhere else. My hands shake, everything spins around me. It's just horrible.

Cherryblossomtreesforever · 05/04/2023 17:38

Sprinkles21 · 05/04/2023 17:29

Thank you actually mid 20s but now mid 30s its worse I have to say my life has changed vastly in that time though I'm mostly isolated from the outside world due to my caring needs of my severely disabled daughter had to give up work and slowly lose more and more outside connections, I'd love to go back to being a human being again aswell as a mum/carer but this isn't possible due to zero disability wraparound or childcare. It definitely started before all that though small butterflies I do think the majority of my social anxiety comes from the low self worth which unfortunatly is exasperated by my personal circumstances. In my teens I was a social butterfly

Strangely enough I think that's where my agoraphobia stems from.
I too am carer to my severely disabled son.
Like you I feel completely isolated.
I couldn't even attend my other child's Parents Evening as I can't cope at all being in groups of people.
Everything just starts spinning, I shake uncontrollably (people comment on it), my heart races in my head and I just want to run away and cry.

Windingdown · 05/04/2023 17:40

I mentioned this to a therapist who said that many people feel like this as a result of something that was drummed into them as a child. Before going out parent often warn a child, 'Be on your best behaviour', 'Don't let me down' etc. This makes you nervous as a child and it hangs over into your adulthood. It certainly applies to me...maybe not you though.

Sprinkles21 · 06/04/2023 23:20

There is just no support for the parents were given these unique children and basic tools and told off you go it's like being a theatre assistant expected to perform open heart surgery 24/7. Its crippling isn't it