To want another child

[sparklymams]

Trying to make a long story short.. my partner and I have a baby 9.5mo, I had an extremely traumatic birth which scared my partner way more than it scared me. The first couple of months with baby was hard but things have gotten better (as they do) but my partner is ADAMANT he doesn't want another child.

I have come from somewhat of a broke family and was an only child for 17 years so I never had any siblings growing up and didn't have the mother and father dynamic as they divorced when I was young.

My partner has sisters and brothers with 10+ nieces and nephews and mum and dad still together, they have an amazing family relationship with each other and I'm blessed to be apart of it

However, I would like to have my own family - 2 children and my partner, seeing my partners family makes me want my own and so does my friends. I love the whole idea of the family group chat/movie nights/family outings etc.

I'm on contraception so the likeliness of an unexpected pregnancy is slim but my partner has said he wants to get the snip ASAP! He is 10yrs older than me but I'm still young with a good 10 years on my body clock so I'm not in any rush.

I have tried to compromise and said can we wait atleast 2/3years before we come to a complete agreement- I am not 100% sure on having another one but I don't want the option completely taken away from me. (Ideally I'd like another one in 5years but willing to compromise as to when we have another one if it means he will think about it)

So I guess I'm just asking AIBU to ask him to not get the snip? Or AINBU by asking him to compromise?

(Sorry for being long)

I think it would re responsible to agree to no children and no discussion of children until he has had some counselling, are you not concerned about his response to the birth.
He sounds seriously affected and I would approach that aspect first.

I know he was affected by the birth but after conversations I've realised it isn't the birth that's put him off - more having to cope with another child, he's said on a few occasions this is the hardest thing I've ever had to do [parenting/looking after a baby]

He's an amazing dad and amazing partner, I can't fault him on anything.

I always say to couples with their first, never make permanent decisions for the first year, it is a massive change and takes some adjustments.
Ultimately though neither of you are wrong, but there is no compromise, you either have another baby or not and if he wants a vasectomy then he gets to do that.