Baby fever is getting too much

[Pepperkiss]

I've got a 19 month old and an 8 year old but feel so very desperate for one more little one. Financially it is feasible, and I am acutely aware of the strain that another addition would mean, which I have though about for a few months and accepted. Little one keeps asking for a baby, and we do have the room. The only spanner in the works is my husband insisting a bigger gap is better and we should wait. I respect his choice, but can't help feeling absolutely crushed and heartbroken. I'm 28 and he is 37, I fear time is running out. My 8 year old has virtually no interest in the toddler, they can't really play together or enjoy the same things.

I know this little one would be my last, and I want to be able to be a great mama while I'm still young and in relatively decent health. Of course I want to respect my husband, but I can't hide or ignore my feelings. I keep noticing babies everywhere. AIBU? And if I am, how can I fix it?

Thanks x

Her partner isn't a spring chicken though. As you get older it gets more difficult to cope with all the early wakings.

This😂

You AND your partner have plenty of time.

My DH was much older than 37 when we had our first.

When I started reading your post I thought your DH didn’t want a third child at all, but it turns out he just wants to wait a bit. And you’re “crushed and heartbroken”? You’re being absolutely ridiculous.

Time running out at 28?!!!
Crikey. I'm 38 this year and I wouldn't rule out a third 🤷‍♀️

I knew before I saw how old your DC are that you haven't experienced the teenage years yet.

Teenagers are expensive, and the emotional toll of having teenagers cannot be underestimated.

You feel crushed and heartbroken that your husband wants a third child, just not immediately? You may feel disappointed, but if you think this is what being crushed and heartbroken feels like, then you’ve lived a very sheltered life.
I’d consider having a long think this morning about all of the things you have to be grateful for.

Turn your desperate, crushed heartbroken energy into a focus on the children who are here? I'd love to have a big tribe but I'd love to put all the energy and time and money into my existing children even more.
Maybe you could find a way to focus on the positives in front of you and enjoy what you have? Then another baby will be a nice bonus later on, not the bringer of all joy which is crap for your existing children.

For some people, it is!

Agree to revisit this in 6 months maybe? So potentially a 3 year gap between the two youngest?

Whilst time is not running out for someone clearly fertile in their 20’s. If you and DH do want a certain age gap, you have to be thinking about it. (Toddler is not the decision maker!)

Oh give over, wake up and get in the real world.

Since when did children influence your choice to have another child?

Your post does read a lot like “my baby and I agree that I should have another child but my pesky husband isn’t on board, what do I do?” V odd.

Ironically the views of your other child - the 8 year old - ARE relevant. You say they show no interest in the toddler, which strikes me as a bad sign for introducing another baby/toddler into the mix. The 8 year old is on the cusp of a very tricky age and perhaps deserves a bit of attention themselves rather than having to compete against another new, all-encompassing sibling.

Anyway, YABU.

Wow! How old do I feel sitting here at 37 and 5 weeks away from giving birth!! 😂😂 I wasn't even ruling out having another after this baby either! …..alas……I’m an old, old lady and my time was starting to run out at 27! Damn, wish I’d have known!