I think a friend of mine may be being scammed/taken advantage of but wanted to see what others think. Sorry it will be long so I can give the full picture!
She is married to a man from Pakistan and they were in a relationship with a joint bank account merely weeks after meeting online before getting engaged and then married within 6 months. When I asked her why so quick she said “when you know you know”. Turns out his student visa was running out. She wouldn’t have it though and said it wasn’t because of that. He is incredibly rude I think and controls her. We went to a mutual friends wedding and he came. He was watching football on his phone during the ceremony, said absolutely not a word to any of us and frogmarched her out way before the day had ended. It was awkward and could tell it affected her. Me, her and another mutual friend went out for a meal and had been out several hours but often we would have our dinner and then sit outside chatting away for ages and so our mutual friend could smoke. He calls her at about 10pm, she answers all lovey dovey “hello my love” and when she hangs up the phone says ‘oh ‘Pete’ wants to join us for a drink’. No problems but that’s not what he did. He drives into the car park and must of text her to come get in the car as she was like “right see you, best go” and that was it the night was over. He stayed in the car, no hello or acknowledgement when we walked past the car, just looked straight ahead. I said hello and he begrudgingly said hello back. He has seen me a few times when I have pulled up outside the house and hasn’t acknowledged me. I could of done nothing to upset him as well we have never spoken, lol not even at their wedding! I have tried to make an effort to talk, but he is difficult and won’t give much if anything back. She did a birthday bbq for him one year and he didn’t turn up. We all left at midnight and he still hadn’t shown, apparently playing cricket - in the dark?
He moved in with her and her Mum a few months after getting engaged and they pay the Mum about £200 a month so he is quids in. He works as an uber driver so he must be saving a fair whack if that’s all they pay towards living there. She doesn’t say much about their relationship but occasionally drops a nugget of information. Such as paying for him to go home and see his family, contributing to his new uber car, getting a second job so they can save money but have nothing to show for it.
My friend has completely changed since being with him and isn’t a shadow of her former self. She has to cover up her tattoos, grow her hair long and can’t wear tank tops, have her nails done. I appreciate there may be cultural requirements from him but it’s taking away her identity. Totally up to her obviously but I just feel it a shame she has to change so much and often I can tell by the look on her face she isn’t totally happy with it all. She has also become very judgemental and refuses to discuss our past or have proper girlie chats.
They have recently had a baby together too!
I have tried talking to her gently and telling her I think it is suspicious behaviour/to look out for herself and that I am concerned. She has an answer for everything and will argue the toss. I just worry about his intentions and the impact it will have if he does plan on taking her money etc. Or am I barking up the wrong tree? Some of our friends think I am being too harsh, others think the same as me.