Narcissistic mothers

[whatsthesenseinsharing]

I NEED to vent!!! If you or anyone you know has a mother with NPD or is indeed one, then you may understand.

We've had a long journey and all but tolerate each other. Teenage mother and I was product of an affair, basically if it wasn't for me she wouldve lived her best life i'm lead to believe. But why does she flaunt her relationship with my sister in law? Who also seems to be coming across a little like a trainee narcissist...

Lunches, shopping, even city breaks. I attempted to go once, they backed out. Then I backed out and they went. Sends a statement doesn't it.

I am annoyed at myself for being annoyed that they have a relationship that appears to be what I have always wanted, one between a mother and daughter that is not conditional of what mothers wants, or how it represents mother.

AIBU to think that they are experiencing what I should be experiencing?

Birds of a feather flock together OP.

The pair of them sound similar. Be thankful you're not, that won't however make your mothers actions less hurtful.

My mums the same a total narcissistic drama queen even in the evening of her life. Its fucking draining.

Everyday! I've learned the hard way how much of a N she is. SIL is very samey, and yep fucking draining. Its healthy to be distanced from it but still, it does remind me of what I would like to have. At least I can be an available mum for my own daughter..

Leave them to it OP - as you say, concentrate on your own daughter. I bet you are a lovely mother and that will bring far more happiness.

If they are both on the narcissistic side of things, I reckon there will be a big bust up with a lot of drama sooner or later.

Why do you want to be close to her - i get its sad you dont have that ideal mother-daughter relationship- but many people dont.

Does you mother have any good points?

Let yourself rage about it. Seriously - it’s good for you. Say it to yourself, write it down here or on paper or scream it into the sea etc (ie rage in a safe and private place). As many times as you need to. It’s incredibly hurtful to have a mother who isn’t there for you and the hurt can run very deep. Then redirect yourself to people in life who are capable of meeting your needs.

Good points? Bailed me out more than once. All in the past and when I was a lot younger... is that standard for a parent though? I am healing through being my own mother and working hard at a nurturing relationship with my kids, rather than a conditional one that supports a narcissist