AIBU to still be annoyed at family wedding situation

[EmbarrassedMum1]

So this happened 3 months ago but I'm still annoyed, I know I need to just get over it but every time I hear the family members name I get annoyed all over again.

My sibling got married recently, the invite said super small, minimal people, just immediate family for both bride and grooms family no husbands/partners or children. At first I thought brilliant childfree day, DH can have a nice day with DDs, I was honestly looking forward to a nice day with just my parents (other siblings couldn't get childcare). Sibling and I used to be close, then they were struggling being a new parent I took the baby (from previous relationship) every other week end Fri - Mon to give them a break but since having my own children we've drifted apart.

On the day just the 3 of were on one side (Me & parents) and the other side there was siblings, friends, partners their children, extended family and even a recent girlfriend who they hadn't met before. I was stunned and hurt, not only for me, my husband of 16years (who also used to be close with sibling but they've drifted apart also) and my children but also for sibling who couldn't get childcare so missed a siblings wedding. It put a downer on the whole day and we left after the meal.

AIBU for this to be continually upsetting me?, honestly feel so disrespected a friends new girlfriend was more important than my children?. Sibling is VERY unapproachable.

Sometimes friends are closer than family so they potentially made a choice. Also your brother maybe didn’t want a lot of people there so made that choice while his now wife made a different one

Could your DH not have helped with childcare to allow your other siblings to come? I am assuming your siblings don’t have partners that could have looked after their children in the day to allow your siblings come to the wedding

I'd be hurt as well op but moving forward I think you need to just drop them and get on with your life.

We had similar last autumn. Nephew got married postponed from covid times invites had been sent out for original date all aunties uncles cousins originally invited. New date post covid we were told no cousins attending day time only night time. We were invited whole day turn up and brides side had cousins and partners etc but none from grooms side. They wanted family group photos and there were about 40 in the bride’s family
photo and there were 6 in grooms including bride and groom! Ungrateful twats didn’t even get a thank you for very generous gift.

I'm getting married in a few months and there are about double the people on the grooms side than my side. It's also a bit lopsided because my people are mostly family and his are mostly friends. I'm sorry if this will offend people.

I simply don't have lots of deep friendships, whereas he has a ton of people who he truly loves and have been important in his life for decades. There is also a cultural difference. From his culture, large weddings are expected, and people will literally invite themselves. My culture, it's more up to the couple.....

But the result is way more people are coming from his side. I don't mind at all. I would just have to add lots of people I don't genuinely feel attached to in order to 'match' his.... don't see the point of that.

I'm surprised how many people seem to feel different decisions from bride and groom are unacceptable, or even a sign of abuse!