Started dating my ex exclusively at the end of 2020. We met at work where he was senior to me. He pursued me. First few months were perfect with a few short angry moments from him which I put down to lockdown stress and him working while looking after his two children.
He had a very dysfunctional upbringing where he moved around a lot and witnessed his mother being physically abused by his stepdad. His biological dad was also a cheater.
He'd been in two serious relationships before me and had one child with each. He's late 30s now and I'm a year younger. I don't have children yet.
It's been on and off for months at a time since he'll get paranoid that I'm cheating (I've never cheated on anyone), that I don't prioritise him (I have a job with long hours) turn angry and give me the silent treatment. He almost never apologises and tends to blame me for everything.
Despite that, I've been unable to cut him off and we've remained in contact during every break, even if not meeting. He claims he's never dated, kissed or had sex with anyone during the gaps. I'm not sure if I believe him nowadays.
Since I felt messed around, I went on a few one off dates during the gaps where he gave me silent treatment. I was up front about this since he said he was fully done. The men were really nice, though I couldn't get over the ex. The ex would then reappear and we'd try again, but he'd still blame me for going on dates.
Last week, we'd been getting on better. He'd switched back to his nicer self. One early evening he asked if I'd like to meet up with him and his friends. He'd sent me a gym photo a few days earlier.
I did want to see him, though responded that I was working that evening, wanted to see him, though was going to be busy over the next few weeks (he knows I'm in the process of buying a house, so all my free time is going to viewings), said I hoped he'd have a good night and I would see him soon.
I was busy the next two days so neither of us messaged. I sent him one in the evening - no response. Two days later I sent him another message - no response. I then got fed up and asked if he'd been having an off period with someone else when he asked me to meet up.
He got really angry at this. Sent him a message last night when I managed a last minute meet up with a guy friend (platonic - friends with him for years) asking how his night was going and if he'd like to meet if out and he gave instant, mean responses. Messaged him today and he's reading and ignoring them.
The reason he seems to have started ignoring me last week is I didn't do exactly what he wanted. I offered to meet up the following week, but that wasn't good enough.
Things only started going wrong in the relationship when I got a higher paying job than him. Since then he's openly resented that work is important to me. But he prioritises gym, football etc above me and I always fitted into his schedule, especially around childcare.
Was I being unreasonable / off putting for asking for a few weeks before meeting up again? I know he might have taken this as a rejection. His next response to me the week later was "I am my priority" when I asked why he hadn't responded.