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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AINU about child maintenance?

21 replies

Oatyhobnobs · 01/04/2023 10:52

It’s usually paid to me on the 1st, it’s not arrived I’m assuming because it’s a direct debit or standing order and it’s fallen on a Saturday.
All of my payments due out today have gone out regardless and left me overdrawn without a penny for the weekend.
I appreciate I should have better planned, but I paid for my daughters school trip yesterday which was not cheap on the premise that funds would be covered for today.
Dad is an arsehole.
AIBU to ask him to pay it today on the date it is due?

OP posts:

Theunamedcat · 01/04/2023 10:57

Is it under enforcement? Does he pay it himself or has he got a standing order to do it? My ex manually transfers it (actually he doesn't pay a penny but he is supposed too)

wobytide · 01/04/2023 10:57

What if the same has happened to his payment and it's left his account but not reached yours?

Danikm151 · 01/04/2023 10:58

With banking it will always be the next working day unfortunately.

Needapadlockonmyfridge · 01/04/2023 10:59

If it is set up as a standing order then not a lot you can do.

I have the same issue and it is annoying, but then I read so many threads on here where fathers avoid paying CM at all so I count myself relatively lucky.

Tinkerbyebye · 01/04/2023 10:59

It’s how the banks work. Most don’t pay debits or send credits if the due date is a weekend. It goes out/comes in on a monday

blame the banks not him.

SquareRootOfAllEvil · 01/04/2023 11:00

It’s probably because it’s a standing order. I’m quite surprised your payments have gone out today (none of mine have), so even though he’s an arse, he might have assumed that everything will just happen on Monday instead.

Mycathatesmecuddling · 01/04/2023 11:02

If its a direct debit he can't just pay the money today because its too late to cancel the direct debit so the money will still automatically go out on Monday so that would end in him paying it twice

If its paid by direct debit then, although he may be an arsehole, this isn't an example of it, this is just a banking thing and totally outside of his control unfortunately

Are you able to change some of your regular payments to go out on the 3rd or the 4th in future to give yourself a bit of a buffer?

SgtCatherineCawood · 01/04/2023 11:02

I have two payments due on the 1st which are both showing as coming out on Monday. I didn't think any direct debits or standing orders cleared on a non working day

Okunevo · 01/04/2023 11:04

I'm surprised you've had payments go out today. I had my broadband go out yesterday for some reason, it's usually the first or second working day. Everything else is the first working day.

Hermanfromguesswho · 01/04/2023 11:10

Mine is the same. It’s automatic and comes into your account on the next working day. However it’s very unusual for your bills to have been paid out today. Mine are all delayed till Monday when the cm is delayed for the same reason

SmileyPaella · 01/04/2023 11:13

He HAS paid it on the date it is due. It just hasn't arrived with you.

DrMarciaFieldstone · 01/04/2023 11:14

It’s always delayed at the weekend/BH’s. It’s up to you to set your bills up to account for this, not for the ex to change his payment. This is standard banking practice.

Okunevo · 01/04/2023 11:15

I agree that you should move some or all of your payments by a few days if you are reliant on this payment coming in to cover those going out.

funinthesun19 · 01/04/2023 11:24

It’s because it’s the weekend. You’ll get the payment on Monday morning most likely.

I would keep the standing order running rather than ask him to pay you by bank transfer on the day as you mentioned you will ask him to do. You might have to wait an extra day or two some months but at least you know you’re more likely to get the money if something is set up.

To be fair if I had a standing order set up, I wouldn’t be sending that person the money over the weekend otherwise there’s the risk of paying twice. Unless it was someone like my mum and she’d just happily ping the extra payment back to me on Monday morning.

Albiboba · 01/04/2023 12:01

Your direct debits will not have gone out today, unless they went out yesterday because that’s the day they were due. If payments were due to be taken on the 1st it will be done on Monday.
Unless you have specifically made a payment that was due, but a direct debit or standing order for the 1st will not be taken early.

thegrain · 01/04/2023 12:03

Non it will turn up on Monday. He might be an arsehole but he's not responsible for the banking system

Fuelledbycaffeine89 · 01/04/2023 12:03

My ex pays by dd on the 1st. It’ll arrive a Monday due to the weekend

Flowerblooms · 01/04/2023 12:06

As others have already said your ex isn’t the problem here.

Who do you bank with?? I have had accounts with many banks and none have ever taken the money for direct debits/standing orders at the weekend. It’s always the Monday (next working day).

To stop this happening again move your direct debits a couple of days further into the month so you are covered in future.

Original poster

Oatyhobnobs · 01/04/2023 12:17

Mycathatesmecuddling · 01/04/2023 11:02

If its a direct debit he can't just pay the money today because its too late to cancel the direct debit so the money will still automatically go out on Monday so that would end in him paying it twice

If its paid by direct debit then, although he may be an arsehole, this isn't an example of it, this is just a banking thing and totally outside of his control unfortunately

Are you able to change some of your regular payments to go out on the 3rd or the 4th in future to give yourself a bit of a buffer?

This is a good suggestion thanks. Can see iabu
appreciate that he does pay. It definitely makes up for the domestic violence and horrid attitude to his children 🙄

OP posts:

thegrain · 01/04/2023 12:22

Oatyhobnobs · 01/04/2023 12:17

This is a good suggestion thanks. Can see iabu
appreciate that he does pay. It definitely makes up for the domestic violence and horrid attitude to his children 🙄

Show quote history

No it doesn't. Nothing can make up for that

thegrain · 01/04/2023 12:23

Yeah most places collect direct debits on the 3rd or something to avoid all this hassle too

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