Does anybody else renting feel constant pressure to buy

[Canyoureadmymind]

I'm in my early 30s and I feel anxiety most days about the fact that I don't yet own a house. I'm saving but I've currently got £400 in my savings, that's not going to get me very far. It'll be a good few years before I could even own something very small or a shared ownership property. Then, it's actually being accepted for a property.
I feel like I 'should' be owning by this age which is stupid, but most of my peers seem to be, apart from the ones that live in London.
There are constant cries of what will you do in retirement. So that's another stressor, worrying that I might end up homeless.
There's a chance I could inherit property/gain an inheritance at some point in the distant future.
I'm sick of feeling this constant pressure and anxiety. I wish renting were more socially acceptable and viable long term.

There are advantages to renting, just as there are to owning your home.
The 'Renting is throwing money down the drain' comments used to annoy me.

You are in your early 30s. Whoever is pressuring you to buy with cries of "what will you do in retorement" at this age is an idiot.

No, you don't need to own property in early 30s. Everyone has different timing for things. Some get houses early, some later, some have children young, some later.

I actually never felt me renting was not socially acceptable tbh

Thank you. I really don't mind renting, I like the flexibility it gives me but I'm surrounded by pressure to own a home. I don't have children either.
Oh yeah, I've heard that so many times. Also "You're just paying your landlord's mortgage "

I hate that we put so much pressure on home buying as a country. Having your own home is great for some, but it is not the be all and end all, and actually comes with a load of other responsibilities and costs. My parents don't own their own home and are retired and renting, it's not impossible. Most of the people I know from childhood's parents are the same (london admittedly). Its only as an adult that I've realised that as a nation we are obsessed with home buying, as it really was not the norm at all for most people I knew throughout my life.
At the stage you are at in terms of your savings and age, I would look at getting some good financial advice about how to maximise pensions and long term investments and savings to support your future rather than focusing on growing a house deposit pot

And totally agree that there are advantages to renting and disadvantages to owning. People will have preferences for hem but there is no "correct " way

I wouldn't worry about it. You are free from ties, you could take a great job opportunity at short notice. Owning (or a secure rental) really only becomes important if you need to stay in catchment for a school. And you don't have children.

No repair bills either. I had to replace my roof last year.

Enjoy it while you can 🙂

I just about managed to buy before I turned 40. It was a milestone but one that did feel imposed upon me. I was discussing it with an Austrian friend and she couldn’t believe why I’d do something as major if my heart wasn’t properly in it, but their rental system seems a lot more fair and stable than the one where I live.

apart from interest increase eating all my money and a helping nature having led me to take on some tedious building responsibilities I’m pretty happy with it though, nice being able to paint and put in nails without asking for permission.

I have never had a mortgage and really bugs me that people look down on those of us that rent.
I am fortunate enough to have a Houseing Ass' home so my land lord is good , the rent is reasonable and while I dont live in a 'desirable ' area I only live 4 miles from a very big city centre that has good public transport links.
By doing / having this I am able to very slowly save up and plan to open a isa or similar account soon to save up for my old age .
And yet still on MN and irl I am told that I am wasting money by renting .

I wish the mind set of people renting or those talking about renters could be change from 'this is temporary' to 'this is what works for me'

I know it's easier said than done but try not to get stressed about the fact that you rent . There is no shame whatsoever in it.

I'm just over 40 with 2DCs. Immense pressure to buy, friends will ask if we bought yet when they see us.

Yes I know what you mean, I'm 40 and still renting. We have a fantastic landlord who hasn't put the rent up in seven years and live in a house we could never afford to buy. She lets us do whatever we want re decor and fixes anything major immediately (new boiler etc) In a lot of ways we'd be mad to move! But people still keep asking when we'll buy. We will eventually but I'm happy here for now!

İn my opinion people who put pressure on others to make a lifestyle choice similar to their own, just want their own lifestyle choice validated back at them. I'm under pressure to get a certain type of job and buy somewhere too, even as a single mum living in social housing which is a really really secure option. I'd much rather do a mixture of saving my money and putting some into a pension, so that if the time comes when I want to move area, I can have options. İf i was really rich, then sure I'd love to buy a lovely big period house in a village, but right now I'm not, so I'm doing what works for me. I'm not knocking my family members who do have mortgages, but as opposed to them, I spent my twenties travelling, gaining skills, going to as many workshops as I wanted, living month to month, but being able to make changes and choices whenever I wanted, because I wasn't tied to anything. I can now use my spare money for saving or holidays and nice clothes, because I don't have to worry about a rainy day, with fixing a boiler; my rent covers those expenses, so I don't believe you're throwing money away renting, you're just using your money to relieve you of worry. I also don't drive so that frees up money as well, and I take taxis occasionally if the weather is atrocious. But I'm also not saying my lifestyle is better than anyone else's. İt just works for me, for what I want out of life. I do believe saving is important though.

If owning is your long term plan then I wouldn't worry until you turn 40 as that would still give you 25 years to pay off a mortgage. Many people are still paying mortgages off well into retirement although that's not ideal. It's also not a problem to be renting in retirement. lots of older people don't want the hassle of maintaining a home etc. As others have said, I think it does become more difficult when you have kids as you need more stability.

Thank you this has helped me so much. I'm sick to death of being made to feel that I'll be homeless or in poverty when I'm retired if I don't own.

I wouldn't put people recommending to own in the UK down as snobbery and from what you've said, you feel a lot of (internal) pressure yourself to own, and that is down to you. You also made it clear that you couldn't own right now, so of course you are a bit defensive.

I come from a country in which renting is the norm and didn't want to own when I first came over to this country, but since then I've changed my mind, because I have been VERY unlucky with renting here - landlords who didn't do their jobs in maintaining the property, constant rent increases driving us out, in several cases section 21s (because I needed things fixing that never got done even though it was agreed or because they wanted to sell). It was never secure and in some cases unsafe. Every rental change came with more fees/ charges and every house move ended up costing around £1000; it was draining.

So I, too, wouldn't recommend to rent. Perhaps you were luckier. But if you were my friend I'd also recommend that you buy, simply because I've seen just how bad renting can be over here.

I feel so much pressure to buy (35, with 2DC) but it's pressure I put on my self, not anyone else pressuring me.

I'm 56 and have always rented. I read recently about a new boiler costing £8000 to replace and just thought thank God I don't own a place and have to fork out for things like that. I've been in my current flat for almost 11 years, my landlady is absolutely lovely and has never put the rent up in that time and I've had a new boiler that didn't cost me a penny 😊 As long as you're happy where you are OP, then don't take any notice of what anyone else says.

yes definitely but as a single parent on one part time wage and tax credits in a very expensive area I am not sure that it will be possible any time soon. I've tried to accept it. Doesn't mean that I find it easy.

I feel pretty judged by friends tbh. All of them had handouts from parents to help them buy, partners in on the mortgage etc and wouldn't have been able to do it without the handouts. But I still feel they are insinuating I am somehow responsible for that fact that I don't own yet. If I'd had a handout things would be different.

A lot of inequality when it comes to housing in this country. Usually due to the inequality of wealth in our society as well as the low wage culture plus expensive housing unless you get inheritance or big deposits from mum and dad. Meaning some of us are pretty much shafted. Not to mention rent more expensive than buying in most cases making even harder to save.

Oh and i really wish that I could have more control over the decor. I have woodchip paper and horrid gross carpets that I can't change. That for me is one of the worst things. So depressing but the landlord won't change them.

The trouble is, for every story like this, there are stories about people being evicted from homes that they've lived in for years, struggling to find places, and facing soaring rents during retirement.

Some people (particularly those with kids) don't earn enough to save, and are stuck, but if you do, then I don't think that burying your head in the sand is a good strategy.

I don't rent, but I was renting at 30, and the only people who pressured me to buy were my parents. You are interpreting it as judgemental, but it's more likely coming from a place if concern.

I feel pretty judged by friends tbh. All of them had handouts from parents to help them buy, partners in on the mortgage etc and wouldn't have been able to do it without the handouts. But I still feel they are insinuating I am somehow responsible for that fact that I don't own yet. If I'd had a handout things would be different.

Do you have any examples of your friends justifying you? Anything concrete or is it just you thinking that there's an insinuation? I'd certainly never judge any friend that was renting. What difference does it make to me?

If you don't mind me saying, you sound a little bitter about the "handouts" etc.

I looked at my pension forecast recently and my first thought was thank god we weren't renting as mortgage will be paid off by then.

So yes, good for those people with decent landlords. But it doesn't change the fact that a) you'll still be paying out to live somewhere well after you retire and b) despite all those months / years / decades of payments, you still won't own anything.

For me it would be a nightmare scenario. I appreciate that's not the same for everybody though.

When I was renting I never felt like I was throwing away my money. I was buying a roof over my head and had the advantage of others being responsible for repairs.

i could also move away from bad neighbours, redevelopments that stole my view, towards jobs and fun. I thought it was a plus to be honest!!

I’m early 40s and rent a house in an area I could never afford to buy in. I have no children but love my life here… I couldn’t afford to buy anything like where I live so enjoying it while I can!
Yes, I get the ‘oh are you still renting?’ comments. I usually find nodding and smiling sees them off.

Ok, so renters don’t fork out for the new boiler, but neither do they ever own the property. A pp said the would rather save or put the money into a pension than pay a mortgage, but for many a mortgage would be less than the rent, it’s often getting the deposit together that is the problem.
It really grieves me that DD rented properties for 13 years, paying up to £1400 a month for a one bed flat.so thats in excess of £150,000 that could have been paying for a property she would own. Renting should be avoided at all costs, in my opinion.