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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to be feeling trapped, fed up and apathetic?

12 replies

glinda · 13/02/2008 16:28

It is half term here and the children are out and about with local friends. Buzzing about between the gardens in the sunshine and having a ball. I know that they would get grumpy if I spoilt their fun by insisting that we went out together. I could be doing the house work (A huge pile of ironing is lurking in the dining room)or reading a novel but I feel so flat and sorry for myself that I can't bring myself to do anything. I don't understand why. I am a teacher and I was so looking forward to half term. Now I just don't feel needed or wanted by the children anymore. So long as I provide food at regular intervals they don't need me for much else.

Ok Nothing really wrong - I'll stop moaning now.

OP posts:

Tanee58 · 13/02/2008 16:34

Ah Glinda, lucky you, being a teacher and having a whole week off! How old are they? My 15 year old dd organises her life at weekends and hols around her friends - I only get a lookin when it comes to shopping - 'cos guess who holds the credit cards ?

Could you organise a couple of days out for yourself, with adult friends? And really, would they get grumpy if you insisted on just one day out with them?

I know how you feel though - the early stages of 'empty nest syndrome'.

Wisteria · 13/02/2008 16:37

sod the ironing, you work hard all term - take advantage of the peace and quiet, have a lovely hot bath, watch a film that only you will enjoy and then when the dcs get back starving, go out for tea and spend time with them that way.

It's tough when you think your dcs don't need you anymore but they do, I promise

Wisteria · 13/02/2008 16:37

Tanee58 · 13/02/2008 16:38

Hi Wisteria, how's you? I'm hectic - hardly have time for anything and MN is a guilty pleasure!

chinchi · 13/02/2008 16:39

Definately make most of your time off!
Feel proud about how your children have grown into headstrong independent people. As Wisteria said- they do need you, they just dont show it as much

Original poster

glinda · 13/02/2008 16:41

DD is 12 and ds is 9. Don't even mention ENS. I start shaking at the thought of them leaving home. I do feel so mean. They are having a lovely time doing just what school holidays are meant to be for.
I should really do what teachers are meant to do at half term - ie paperwork, but I think that would just finish me off.

I know, I am lucky really - just don't feel it today.

OP posts:

Wisteria · 13/02/2008 16:45

That's the age mine were when they started all this and I felt distraught - the only answer is to grab your time with them when you can......and make it as fun as you can!

Original poster

glinda · 13/02/2008 16:51

Thanks everyone. I would be worried if they were still clinging to my leg and being needy I suppose. I am beginning to realise that my life is actually very empty if you don't include my children. Trouble is that in term time I am incredibly busy.
I am going to have to find myself a project for the summer holidays or I will go insane. Any ideas?

OP posts:

clam · 13/02/2008 16:54

Snap, Glinda. I've been feeling the same. I think we teachers are so programmed all term to be thinking we must 'do, do, do' all the time that it takes a while to unwind on holiday. I've been feeling guilty for doing not much at all. When DH arrives home, saying "and what have you all been up to today?" I'm straightaway on the defensive, out of guilt. My kids are similar ages - too old to need much organising, but not completely independent. And this gorgeous weather is fooling us into thinking it's spring and we should be doing the garden or going to the beach or something, when really, it's still winter. Somehow it feels more OK to curl up with a film when it's vile weather. God, just read this back. What an old whinge-bag. All those MNers at work and juggling holiday child-care will be hating me...

Original poster

glinda · 13/02/2008 16:59

Oh God Clam Thank you!!!! Does this mean I am normal? Best news I have had all day. I typed the opening post and deleted it about 3 times before posting because I sound sound so pathetic.

OP posts:

Tanee58 · 13/02/2008 17:32

'Course you're normal! - we've had years of programming to organise the dcs and build them good social circles, and feel a bit bereft when we find that we've actually done such a good job that they've started to organise themselves.

Hope you'll settle into 'relax' mode as the week progresses.

beeper · 13/02/2008 19:52

Firstly...havent you brought your children up with the aim of being independant out going children who mix well. If yes then job done. You could have pasty faced computer internet nerds who hang around chat rooms all day.

Secondly...Thank God that you can let your kids play out...I would give my right arm for my kid to be able to play outside, but with a half-way house known to house peados round the corner and a busy road outside there is no chance.

I think you are just suffering from holiday fatigue..mums who work full time seem to put so much store on holidays being perfect times.

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