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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to be annoyed

17 replies

fifibella · 13/02/2008 15:28

because DH wants to go on a stag weekend for 3 nights (abroad) 4 weeks before baby is due. dd1 will be just over 2 years old so its not like i will just have myself to look after. don't know if i'm being selfish or not.

OP posts:

loopylou6 · 13/02/2008 15:32

i dont feel u are being unreasonable, my DH wouldnt go wether iw as pregnant or not

loopylou6 · 13/02/2008 15:34

also can i just add, at the end of the pregnancy a baby can appear pretty much anytime from 36 weeks, so hes being very selfish

MotherFunk · 13/02/2008 15:34

Message withdrawn

Lulumama · 13/02/2008 15:34

is it becasue it is a stag weekend? if he was going away for work would you be bothered? unless there is a reason to think you could deliver 4 weeks early, i would not have an issue with it

could your mum or a friend or sister or someone help out whilst he is away?

eeewahwoowah · 13/02/2008 15:36

4 weeks is cutting it a bit fine. do you have relatives or friends that could be on hand to help out with your dd whilst he is on the stag weekend.

BirdyArms · 13/02/2008 15:37

I would say no way because I had ds1 at 35 weeks. Having said that I almost accidentally let dh go on a ski weekend 4 weeks before ds2 was born before it twigged that ds1 had already arrived by then. Had I not had my ds1 experience I would probably negotiate 1 or 2 nights - end of a stag do they are all hungover anyway so he won't miss much.

Original poster

fifibella · 13/02/2008 15:38

yes it is a stag weekend. he missed the last one because it was when dd1 was born.

OP posts:

VinegarTitsOut · 13/02/2008 15:47

Tricky one, as lulumama said unless there is a reason to think you could deliver early then you can't really use that as an excuse, but, he is being selfish, as you could probably do with his support emotionally.

If he does go i would get him to agree to you having a weekend away with your friends once you feel ready to be parted from your new baby, once it arrives.

BirdyArms · 13/02/2008 15:51

If he does go can you arrange to have a friend or family member to stay? Then you are less likely to have a bad weekend and feel resentful towards him.

ibelieveindreaming · 13/02/2008 15:52

I wouldn't have a problem with dh going away if I was 36 weeks pregnant. Would you mind if it wasn't a stag weekend?

LadySanders · 13/02/2008 15:55

prob depends on your general view on stag weekends to some extent. BUT i think that generally if you're preg, dps should a) take account of you being probably more sensitive on these kind of issues than you might otherwise have been, and b) act a bit as if they are pregnant too. my exh spent most of my pregnancy drinking champagne with his mates on the basis that he wouln't be able to do it once the baby was born. note that he's now my exh. new dp has been fantastic thru my 2nd pregnancy (now in week 42 so he's really had to work too, ha ha) and basically gave up the wine and blue cheese with me in solidarity, which i have found very touching and supportive.

ConnorTraceptive · 13/02/2008 15:58

I don't think it's a problem at 36 weeks, I also have a toddler and am 38 weeks.

alicet · 13/02/2008 15:59

Have to say I wouldn't be that impressed dh going and leaving me for 3 nights with one dc to look after on my own even taking away the fact of being pregnant. I would be totally OK with it if I was able to get someone to help - tiring looking after children on your own esp at the weekend when everyone is busy with their own families.

Plus it's absoloutely knackering looking after a toddler when pregnant.

I don't personally have an issue from the point of view of the baby arriving early which unless there is a genuine reason to suspect isn't that likely. But I would think carefully about it from the pov of managing on your own.

If you could have someone to stay to help (mum or someone who really WILL help) then I wouldn't have a problem with it but otherwise I would say not this time mate!

Original poster

fifibella · 13/02/2008 16:00

i probably wouldn't mind if it wasn't a stag weekend, but saying that he does work away quite alot and when i was pg with dd1 he came to an agreement with his boss that he wouldn't be working far away during my last few weeks of pregnancy.

i have never stopped him going on any weekends before i just thought that he may think twice before wanting to go on this one.

he's already got three weekends away booked this year (birthdays etc). they are all before lo will be born.

OP posts:

AllFallDown · 13/02/2008 16:21

How close a friend of his is it? That must have some bearing ...

jesuswhatnext · 13/02/2008 16:28

it's ok so long as he can take the time and money to take HIS family away when the time comes - pleading poverty afet such a 'single' weekend

Original poster

fifibella · 13/02/2008 19:20

there's a big group of blokes who go out on a saturday night. dh doesn't go as often as he used to. the person who's stag do it is isn't a close friend of dh's at all. i don't even know who he is.

OP posts:

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