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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask am I the weirdo here?

39 replies

matisses6fingers · 30/03/2023 22:56

Started a new job about 8 months ago. Large well known company.

im a hard worker and a bit nervous generally.

anyway, the people I work with are so serious and they act like the company might collapse if something isn’t done. I know that sounds perhaps like what they should be like but it feels so extreme.

im very much of the opinion that I work hard and put the effort in but I know that if I was hit by a bus tomorrow then my work would replace me in a heartbeat.

maybe it’s me and IABU but the seriousness and acting like everything is soooooo very urgent and important makes me so nervous.

i also made the mistake of saying a while back “if everything is urgent then nothing is urgent..” and I was looked at like I had two heads.

I feel like the odd one out that I really care about my kids and family and not really about work other than doing a a good job. I don’t care a jot about the company.

am I the weirdo?

OP posts:
Eranzer · 30/03/2023 22:58

If you're a weirdo I'm a weirdo. I care that I don't cock up and everything is done in a timely manner and correctly, but that's as far as I give a fuck about my job.

CleaningOutMyCloset · 30/03/2023 23:00

I had this at one job, I really struggled with the culture of the whole organisation, they sold kitchen units, it wasn't life or death, but the way they acted you'd have thought so.

Kingsize · 30/03/2023 23:00

It sounds like you have the right attitude, and they all sound like drama lamas!

33goingon64 · 30/03/2023 23:02

It probably depends what kind of job. If it's something that you'd only do if you loved it or that you need to demonstrate a passion for then I can understand and gave felt that dedication to the job. But if it's something fairly ordinary then they sound a bit machine-like. I think it's important to enjoy your job - maybe they just enjoy it more than you?

Original poster
matisses6fingers · 30/03/2023 23:06

remember The Demon Headmaster?

i feel like this has happened 😂😂

OP posts:
bananaboats · 30/03/2023 23:07

YANBU and I feel the same but it sounds like this particular work place isn't very good fit for you.

JudgeRudy · 30/03/2023 23:10

I had a bit of a disagreement in a group meeting and was told that I was being selfish and it wasn't just about what I wanted.... I stood up, addressed the group and said
'No, you are mistaken. I am the most important person in this room'....
OK that came across a bit brash but I kinda meant it. I was also asked if I cared about something so I answered honestly 'well not enough, no'

Sometimes it's hard to understand the investment people have in their jobs just as they can't relate to my cavalier attitude. Like you OP I actually feel I'm very good value and earn my money.

ShirleyPhallus · 30/03/2023 23:13

No, YANBU, and I always say that you shouldn’t have more loyalty for a company that wouldn’t have the same loyalty back

But I also wouldn’t verbalise it too much because that can make you sound lazy and like you don’t work as hard. Which is fine, but people don’t need to think that!

Original poster
matisses6fingers · 30/03/2023 23:14

Oh I’ve found my people!!

i honestly don’t give a fuck as long a must job is done to a decent standard.

the draaammma and the constant urgency sets my teeth on edge.

my boss can ask the same question 14 different ways and is never done saying “can you just take an action…”

oh god fuck off.

OP posts:
Tryphenia · 30/03/2023 23:19

Well, you’re clearly a poor fit in terms of the culture of your particular organisation, however effective you are at your actual job.

Of course we could all be replaced, but that’s not really the question for me. I love my work, and think it’s important, and would continue to do it regardless of my means. I tend to surround myself with people who feel the same, with the caveat that it’s interesting work, in different fields. I recognise that for some people it’s just a necessary evil to keep the wolf from the door.

DarkDarkNight · 30/03/2023 23:19

It’s a bit of both where I work. Some people are so corporate it hurts. Swallowing the ‘core values’, monitoring other people’s break times as if they pay the wages themselves, putting in hours of unpaid overtime each week. Other people are so lax and unfussed it took me ages to get used to their attitude.

My attitude is I go to work and try hard to do a good job, I would consider myself a hard worker, some days I don’t stop, but if I sometimes have 10 minutes longer for dinner than I should so be it. I have anxiety and used to have it really bad around workplace issues. I have fought really hard to stop overthinking and letting it ruin my life outside of work. I am trying my best, but make mistakes as humans do.

I agree about companies replacing people. I’ve worked through three ‘reconfigurations’ now at three different workplaces. I don’t believe any company cares about employees on a human level. We are all just numbers, part of a balance sheet that balances or doesn’t. My life outside is more valuable.

MarchMadness23 · 30/03/2023 23:19

I'm in the middle I think. I'm a bit more obsessive than you, but I agree that when everything is urgent, nothing is urgent.and I'm not like the PITA that asks 14 times.

id like to be more like you though.

ALongHardWinter · 30/03/2023 23:33

Sounds like they live to work rather than work to live.

TrishM80 · 30/03/2023 23:52

Yeah, I know the type. Performative panic merchants. And the ironic thing is, in settings that are actually life and death, like an operating theatre, everything is calm and serene!

GarlicGrace · 31/03/2023 00:06

I'm more like your colleagues - or I was, while working. It's just part of my character to weave work into all parts of my life; I do "live my work" even now, when my "work" is just hobbies.

BUT it isn't necessary. Different people have different lives, priorities, ways of being. I wouldn't think worse of a person for being less involved than me, as long as their contribution to the job was good. It's healthy to have a mixed team, bringing a variety of experience and perspectives.

Your place sounds a bit weird, more like a church than anything else (is it a church??) I bet that, if you stayed on, you'd find all sorts of intensely complicated personal relationships and worrying psych problems. I don't think you should stay on. You sound too sane for them ... I wouldn't recommend giving that as your reason, though 🤣 You just don't feel you're the right fit for that specific work culture.

Happy job hunting!

chanceofpear · 31/03/2023 09:06

Places that aren't financially stable are like that op. The fear is palpable.

Exhausteddog · 31/03/2023 09:13

chanceofpear · 31/03/2023 09:06

Places that aren't financially stable are like that op. The fear is palpable.

My first thought was that maybe they're worried about either the company going into administration, or similar, or being made redundant....

Original poster
matisses6fingers · 31/03/2023 09:31

Defo not administration. It’s a huge global company.

i find their behaviour sends me into complete overwhelm. I like a job well done and I work hard but I can’t bear the drama and the almost faux passion

OP posts:
TwoLeftSocksWithHoles · 31/03/2023 09:31

I also made the mistake of saying a while back “if everything is urgent then nothing is urgent..”

I worked at a company where the sales manager marked EVERY order as High Priority, I raised this with him but he said he was sure that people in the warehouse responded faster when they saw it... (they didn't!)

yogacushions · 31/03/2023 09:35

You need this quote - I got it from mumsnetter - but didn’t take their name !! Sorry whoever you are.

All jobs are dead end jobs. You don’t win the job when you’ve finished.

You retire and then you die.

It’s not Mario Cart. You don’t get a trophy and infinite lives…

unless you work in A&E, really it’s not an emergency

Coffeeandchocs · 31/03/2023 09:41

I’m a nurse now but I used to work in administration. It blows my mind how things that used to be classed as urgent and important in my old job were so not. It is a real eye-opener seeing when actual urgency is required and how things can be done quickly and effectively in a calm, controlled manner. I think sometimes people like to whip up a sense of urgency to add some excitement and buzz into their working day.

Mypatioisminging · 31/03/2023 09:41

I think the fundamental disconnect, is, in your own words you don’t care about rhe company, you’re there to do a job, collect your pay and go home . So you can’t comprehend why others do care or see rhe urgency. As in your own words you don’t give a shit.

everyone has different priorities, many people can both care about their jobs, the company and their families. You don’t or can’t. That’s ok, but it doesn’t mean others are wrong as they also don’t give a shit

inthewest · 31/03/2023 09:43

Not at all. I recently returned back after a miscarriage and realized life continued when I was gone. Next pregnancy I plan to work just the hours I'm paid and not spend any time worrying that I may be taken as 'lazy'. I'm in the process of deciding if I want to leave my profession, or just leave it in this country.

Wakeywake · 31/03/2023 09:44

I would struggle to see my job as "just a job". I need a sense of purpose and to know that what I do is important and will have some positive impact.

Of course I know that the world will not collapse if I fail to meet a deadline, and that ultimately I work to make some rich people richer. But I still love my work and I am motivated by being successful and believing that my work adds a little bit of value to the world.

There are a lot of people who happily coast throughout their career, doing an OK job without caring much. It's up to them, I couldn't live like that.

Lyricallie · 31/03/2023 09:46

Oh I’m with you, in my job I always say there’s no such thing as a “process”emergency. However I’m in a very small team so we get along well so we can remind each other if we’re taking things too seriously.

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