11 year old dd wants to ask a boy out....I'm not ready for this! Help!

[user7478384]

So dd has had a crush on the boy she sits next to in class. They are in year 6. I have to say - the boy is lovely and I am pleased he is her first proper crush. I asked her why she likes him and her reply was he's kind, helps her in class and genuinely one of the nicer boys in the year. All she talks about is this boy.

She's come downstairs tonight and showed me a little plan she's made involving her and her friend on how she can ask him to be her boyfriend.

I am not mentally prepared for this people.....

She really does have it bad for him and her little heart will be broken if it doesn't go to 'plan'.

I've explained to her that while it's totally normal to have crushes, the boy in question may not be quite ready for all that yet and she might not get the answer she is hoping for.

Equally I can't wrap her up in cotton wool her whole life. She's going to get her heart broken....I was just hoping it wouldn't be quite this early!

What else can I say? What do I do lol?

She's 11

Encourage platonic friendships at this age!! Say that you're happy he's kind and she can be friends with him

They don't need girlfriends or boyfriends at this age.

Kids don't need to grow up prematurely imo

My DS was asked out by a girl in year 6. He had no idea what to say and came home to ask. I suggested he buy some chocolates and meet her in the park. In the end, nothing happened and it got forgotten about until they met up again at Uni and have now been a couple for 3 years.

Good luck.

I agree with you as an adult.

However I remember having a huge crush at the age of 11 too. I would of loved him to be my boyfriend. It's not something you can control.

But I have told her many times that she should encourage her friendship with him. She really values him as a person so I've told her that's the most important thing.

Ahh what a lovely story! Wish them all the best x

No reason why she can't hang out with him as a friend surely?

Do you think she'll want to kiss him? That would probably be too far at age 11.

I think encouraging the friendship is definitely the way to go. Does she spend any time with him at lunch/playtime?

Ask her what she thinks will be different being boyfriend and girlfriend (DD told me a boy in her class had asked her to be his gf when she was about 9 and really it meant nothing) and then go from there.

No advice, but I was the same age when I asked my mum if I could ask a boy out on a "date". She said no and that I would not be allowed to date until I turned 14. This seemed devastating at the time and my diary entry from that day reflects that! We sneaked out for lunch one day anyway. Sandwiches at the local cafe. It was all very innocent and in hindsight I think we were just experimenting with the idea of spending time together independently.

So what I'm wondering if you could create a safe/supervised environment for them to hang out in to let your DD exercise a bit of independence over the relationship but in a way that's appropriate. Eg maybe you could go out for dinner at a restaurant as a family and let them have their own table nearby?

Nope not interested in kissing him, holding hands etc. she just wants to refer to him as her boyfriend. It's not an uncommon thing in her year. I get updated daily on who broke up with who, who's going out with who. She wants to be part of that gang I think - but she does really like this boy