To not give a funeral speech about my dad.

[SpringPortWine]

My dad is dying and my mother has already hinted she wants a big service with lots of speeches.
The thing is my dad prefers my younger brother to the point that no 1 refers to him, and I'm known as no 1 daughter by my dad or no 2 by my brother.

My dad gave a terrible speech 20 years ago at my wedding, I wonder if my mum kept it, it was a bit snippy, drawing attention to failures, what you taken on, etc with a sprinkling of performance love.

I understand he's a product of his time but we haven't got on for decades and me having children didn't help just gave him more excuses to criticise or embarrass me.

AIBU to not give a speech at all.

I loved my Dad but still didn't want to give a speech at his funeral. It's ok to say no.

My mum died last year. My brother did the speech as I didn't have a lot positive to say. It was a lovely speech but I didn't recognise the person in it

It was actually quite nice hearing how different people experienced my mum. She was human, a product of her own upbringing. Some people found her lovely.

We all have different sides. I miss mum a lot. My brother's speech was lovely and his experience of her positive side. I feel I know her a lot more now I've heard how others have. experienced her. I also appreciate her more now she's gone and wish she was still here.

I didn't get the opportunity to attend my dad's funeral. I don't think anyone did a speech. It was arranged and paid for by the council. Only one or two people went. I regret not being more involved despite my dislike of him. I think I would have got to know him more if I went, but I wasn't able at the time.

Appreciate the final days you have with your dad. No matter what he's done, he's your dad and he's human and there may be things you miss when he's gone 💐

I think you should give the speech. It will be a way of marking how different you are to your dad. You can still be honest about him, but do it in a kind way (for the sake of your mum).