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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To tip the delivery guy 20 euros

21 replies

burgledinParis · 30/03/2023 18:07

I got a mattress delivered today. An Emma rolled up one.

I got exactly the same mattress delivered 4 months ago - this is for the second bedroom - I just moved.

I hadn't checked when I got the first one delivered that it was "pavement delivery" - the first time round the guy refused to help me bring it down two flights of stairs to the courtyard and then up three flights of stairs to my apartment. I didn't complain or insist because he showed me the delivery slip that said "pavement" and was quite frankly unpleasant. I had to call a friend to help me lug it down to the sunken courtyard and then get it up the flights of stairs to the apartment.

Today the second mattress arrived, the same and only possible delivery option - pavement learning from experience I was working from home and was planning on stashing the box in the hallway and had asked friend to come over this evening to help get it up the stairs.

Delivery guy called saying he was arriving and asking if I could come down. I went down and he was already in the courtyard - he just said I'll follow you whilst carrying the very heavy large box and then not only bought it up to the apartment, but asked what room it was for, unboxed it, unwrapped all of the plastic, put in on the bed, told me not to worry and that it would inflate and started gathering up the packaging away. I looked for spare change and didn't have anything less then a twenty. So I gave him 20 euros and said "thank you very much and that I thought it was pavement delivery" he just said - "yeah but I wasn't going to leave you stranded outside with a mattress, I'm not a monster". He was happy, I was happy all was good.

So friend who was coming round this evening calls and I say, good news, you're off the hook, let's go out and get a drink, he says " how come" I explain. He thinks that I was ludicrous to give the guy 20€, Now he's gone all "life's alright for some" on me, in a light hearted way. Thing is, if he's have come and helped, I'd have ended up having paid the whole bill out for supper and drinks and his part would have been more than 20 euros, easily.

What's for sure is that
-Friend earns as least as much as I do
-Delivery guy earns probably less than half what I do.
-I'm not rich by any means, but 20 euros isn't going to change my week or my month.

I'm going out for drinks with friend soon, and won't discuss further with him - but is a 20€ tip really ludicrous? I thought it was just the right thing to do. I would have given him 10 euros if I had a 10 euro note but I'd have felt mean giving him only 5.

The whole thing got me thinking about tipping.

Who do you tip? How much ?

OP posts:

Yellowrosesmakemehappy · 30/03/2023 18:09

Awwwww you are so lovely! Don’t worry about it. Look at it this way, he did an extra service for you and you paid him for it. Don’t think of it as a tip.

AnnoyedFromSlough · 30/03/2023 18:10

If it's an amount of money that you are happy to give, you can afford it and you feel good about it - then how can it possibly be unreasonable?

In addition, you'll have made the guys day. Hopefully his shitty colleague hears about it (unlikely but it's a nice thought) 😁

SparkyBlue · 30/03/2023 18:10

We'd have definitely done similar. Obviously if I was seriously cash strapped I wouldn't but we tipped an extra tenner to the bouncy castle man recently.

JMSA · 30/03/2023 18:12

You did the right thing. Both you and the delivery man are lovely people!

Greensleevevssnotnose · 30/03/2023 18:12

I would do the same

mynameiscalypso · 30/03/2023 18:15

I'd have given him £20 too.

GoodChat · 30/03/2023 18:15

I actually think it's a decent amount for the service you go. What a lovely man.

AnotherCountryMummy · 30/03/2023 18:16

You did a kind thing to somebody who was kind to you. You are lovely!

bookish83 · 30/03/2023 18:18

AnotherCountryMummy · 30/03/2023 18:16

You did a kind thing to somebody who was kind to you. You are lovely!

This!

Spyrothedragon23 · 30/03/2023 18:23

If it was a pavement service, what would you pay for someone to bring it up, unpack and help either the packaging. I think it’s about right cost wise. I would have done the same; it’s lovely.

EuripidesEumenides · 30/03/2023 18:28

Seems fine to me. I have often regretted being insufficiently generous. I have never regretted being overly generous.

Ktime · 30/03/2023 18:29

YANBU, you did a good thing.

I had an IKEA mattress delivered and they brought it up to the bedroom, made cuts in the plastic wrapping and laid it on the bed for me. Not sure if that’s normal, maybe I should have tipped them.

Densol57 · 30/03/2023 18:29

Absolutely the right amount. The chap was prepared to do this totally unaware you would tip him. He gave the service to provide “good and over and above” service. Thats what tipping is about. To acknowledge that by a tip. Well done !
ignore silly friend x

FredaFox · 30/03/2023 18:31

I would absolutely do the same
I live on th 5th floor
I always appreciate help so would do the same
If you can afford it it's the right thing to do

TriedTurningItOff · 30/03/2023 18:31

I would unquestionably have done the same. Seems mean to me to do anything less.

Impostersyndrome · 30/03/2023 18:33

Totally agree with you on this

DublinFemale · 30/03/2023 18:39

I have always tipped the delivery driver if he lugs the box up for me, 4 flights of stairs no lift.

Even if only a third of his deliveries do that in a week it encourages him to keep doing it.

Put simply it's nice to be nice. Hopefully he will pay it forward with another customer who will need more assistance.

The only YABU is tell how much you tipped. It will always attract a comment.

derbylass81 · 30/03/2023 18:39

You were happy, he was happy - that says it all.

You are lucky in that you had a friend willing to help. Many people done and would have been stuck; to them it would be very much worth €20.

I have a friend who sounds similar to yours. He is fairly handy and he therefore scoffs at paying anybody to do anything. Does all his own car repairs and DIY. But it often takes him a long time and aren't as good as a professional would do.

But he just doesn't see it as worth it to part with the money.

You and your friend differ in that regard. But the €20 was fine.

HelenaHurricane · 30/03/2023 18:42

Of course you did a lovely thing! Maybe your friend is just being snarky because he feels a bit stingey by comparison? Like "oh am I supposed to tip?!"

Original poster

burgledinParis · 30/03/2023 19:10

Friend has arrived and is taking a work call.

We had a lost in translation - in French ridicule can mean "ridiculous" or it can mean "nothing". He meant it in the sense "nothing" ...

He say's it should have been 20 euros and my first born...

He reminded me that 15 years ago when we were broke students I found a beautiful and massive nearly new habitat sofa for free on the equivalent of gumtree... It was 6th floor in a Haussmann building and didn't fit in the lift... He came with other friends to help lug it down and they all had a sort of masculinity contest refusing to say how much they were struggling 2 of them pulled their backs and missed the university asking trip the next week and spent months going to the kiné ..

I still have the sofa, it's been re upholstered but is still as heavy - but ever since it's only been moved by professional movers - who have all sworn when trying to pick it up and navigate it through spaces.

I think we're going to have a lovely evening thinking of all the memories.

Thanks all.

OP posts:

Original poster

burgledinParis · 30/03/2023 19:11

*skiing trip

OP posts:

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