Commenting on pregnant woman's size

[Questionasker1]

Generally speaking would you consider constant comments on a pregnant woman's belly size rude or am I being unreasonable? Comments like 'you're filling out aren't you', 'must be a massive baby', 'look at the size of you', 'getting big now, piling it on'
For context around 5 months along, obvious bump but not huge, size 14 and haven't put on any weight yet. Customer facing job role, told a customer today I find his daily comments on my size rude and he very strongly disagreed, said it must be the hormones 🙄

Meh, I think it's just people wanting something to say to acknowledge the pregnancy. It is usually kindly meant, and often reflects their own ideals using whichever ideal matches your bump size.
Nice neat bump = yay, less dieting and exercise needed post partum!
Ooo, that bump is massive = you're doing a great job growing a healthy baby
Just take it in the spirit it's meant and let it wash over you.

FWIW, I have experienced both comments. I had one bump so small that when I went on Mat leave at 39.5wks, I said to a group in the office 'oh, today's my last day' and they asked where I was going 🤷🏼‍♀️ (I was definitely bigger than non-pregnant me though, so maybe they just thought I'd hit the Hobnobs hard, but were too polite to mention it 😂) DC2's bump OTOH was massive and I was a big fat puffy misery... Still didn't take offense at the comments!

I never took offence to this at all. I had a great big sticky out bump and I was super proud of it!

I was 9 months pregnant and got asked if I was having twins. I just said no, are you?

hate it!

🙄 But OP doesn't, because a customer at work is being very rude to her. Can't you understand that?

The other side of this coin is if your overweight trying to imply the cannot detect any bump whatsoever, I got quite a few “ you didnt look pregnant “

so unbelievably nasty

@piedbeauty nope, don't understand atall.

I didn't mind anyone commenting on my bump, I'd suffered infertility for a long time so it was like 'look at me, I'm really pregnant'!

When my mum was having me she had IUGR, she said the comments on her bump really upset her, she had a small frame anyway and she'd go home and cry. So I'd never comment on another womans bump. I honestly think people who comment mean no harm but you never know what's going on with someone's pregnancy.

Yeah rude but then I have heard women complain when people don't comment, sure I don't get it

I'm another who quite likes the comments. I just take it as yep growing a big healthy baby and it's a novelty for people to see a bump.

@Luredbyapomegranate genuinely, yes. Why would your baby growing big and healthy be offensive?? Unless OP meant commenting on weight gain asides from bump growth. I was just so happy to be pregnant

People are just rude idiots when it comes to pregnancy.

I am 9 months pregnant and I have had comments ranging from "you're the size of a small barge" , "you have a very neat bump", "are you sure you aren't carrying twins" and other comments about me having a small bump.

I literally have no idea what to think, but I have found it shocking people are so willing to comment on my size. I am size 14 too and have always been conscious about my weight.

It's rude and unnecessary.

I don't know why some people are so obtuse, if you don't mind it fine but the majority of people in the UK think it rude to comment on someone's weight or shape so it's widely thought best to avoid doing so. It's like the over sharers asking nosy questions because they tell everyone everything.

As @Mamai90 says you just don't know what's going on with a pregnant woman and I'd rather not upset someone by commenting inanely on their bump. If they want to start a conversation about their pregnancy they can do so.

I found this so annoying!

To be fair, not many people actually made comments, although there was a lady in work who was probably around a size 30. Every single time she saw me she said how massive I was. After her saying it to me every single day for months, I finally snapped. She said "Omgod you're absolutely massive" and I said, "so are you" and walked off.

I felt absolutely awful after but there is only so much of it you can take.

God yes I hate this. Everyone keeps saying how tiny and neat my bump is and it makes me so paranoid. I’ve had 3 miscarriages and multiple rounds of IVF and am terrified my body isn’t nourishing my baby like it should.

Rude and inappropriate, they belong in the same camp as the unwanted bump touchers 😬😬😬😬

Thanks for all the replies, good to see both sides but glad I'm not the only one annoyed by it. I have struggled with weight in the past so wasn't sure if I was being more sensitive, as well as having a couple of colleagues who think it's hilarious banter to call me fatty and tubs recently.
To clarify I don't think they intend to be rude or have any bad intention. I wouldn't mind someone I actually know commenting so much, or if it was specifically about the bump eg bump is getting bigger, looks big today etc. But blunt 'you look huge' from vague acquaintances gets a bit tiring, today was about the 12th comment from this person, and I've always either completely ignored or had a slightly sarcastic reply so should be fairly obvious I didn't love it.

It’s hilarious when you think about it.. you carry this huge belly about all day (or smaller depending on stage), struggle in and out of bed, everything’s more of an effort, can’t see your own feet etc yet people feel they are the first person to tell you that you have a bump. Eh yes I did notice 🤔 I really hate it, it makes me feel so self conscious and I find myself at this stage (20 weeks) to frantically hunt for anything to wear that could hide it because I can’t cope with the in laws staring at me when I get up to walk across the room or people commenting on it like I had no idea it was there 🙈

It's so bloody rude. People have commented and I hate it. Yes I have a big belly, I'm growing a human, what do you expect. And my consultant has banned exercise so I can't even exercise to avoid putting on weight.

Also the comments (supposed jokes) - Are you sure there aren't twins in there?'. Absolutely bloody sure. Not this time. The first time there were twins and they both died. Want to keep reminding me about that really traumatic experience while you chuckle to yourself about your hilarious joke?

It's rude.
I remember being out one day where one person told me I looked as though I was having twins, whilst another said I was 'tiny'.

Really? So the constant comments like "you'll get fat" when a woman deigns to eat, or other versions are never made?!
It's always rude, pregnant or not.

It is incredibly rude and inappropriate. I absolutely hated it. It's not making conversation. It is FUCKING RUDE! People from my husband's workplace, acquaintances of my parents, and their neighbours and mine, almost always (I would say,) people roughly between 40 and 60, and mostly women.

Wait until it's been three or four weeks or two or three months after the birth @Questionasker1 and you get people saying to you, 'haven't you lost that baby weight yet' and 'are you still pregnant?' I still had about half my baby weight four or five months later, and one of my husbands (male) pub acquaintances felt the need to say 'it looks like you've got your baby still in there - look at the size of that belly.'

I mean, you couldn't make it up. On what planet do people think it's OK to say this to anyone?

I also had a 50-ish female colleague of DH's (when I was pregnant) saying 'haven't you had that baby yet? Come on, hurry up!' EVERY fucking time she saw me. Must have said it 20 times, over the last 4 months of my pregnancy. So tedious.

Upshot is, some people are cunts. Fact.

I was very big with both of mine- think swallowed a giant beach ball big and it really annoyed me when I got things like “sure it’s not twins” and “you must be due any day now at 5/6months) and then “oh it’s def going to be a big baby”

eldest was 6lb9 and my youngest 7lb7 so neither were “big babies”

I also got the shocked “oh wow you’ve barely got a bump now”

I guess it’s just the way I carry, both were boys and I’m guessing there was a lot of water