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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Back to the office or dismissal

59 replies

2023cupcake · 30/03/2023 15:47

I’ve worked with this company for 15 years and as was working remotely since the pandemic, I relocated to the other side of the country. This was brought up informally, contracts weren’t changed, but management were aware. Talks have been had since Jan with the wider staff and people have started to return to the office. I was advised I wouldn’t be asked due to my location.

My parent died last year, going through a divorce and waiting for a mental health referral, my performance has slacked. Nothing extreme but not on par with my colleagues. Quality of work is still there. Management have been aware of my issues and I believed were being supportive. I have had no other problems for the last 15 years.

My performance has been mentioned in passing. Nothing in writing or formal, just an informal chat and been offered tips and tricks to improve.

I requested some support about 20 days ago to improve my work and was advised it would get sorted. Nothing happened. Asked again a few days ago and then also yesterday.

Today I have been informed I need to return back to the office despite a 300 mile commute. Or look for other employment. Due to my performance.

I explained my refusal to do so is because I live too far so have been informed there will be a meeting held with HR.

How do I go about this?

OP posts:

TomatoFrog · 30/03/2023 17:39

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Waydown · 30/03/2023 17:39

I'd be inclined to take some sick leave (which it sounds like you should have taken sooner) while you look for another job.

DashboardConfessional · 30/03/2023 17:45

Why did you move? If it was to care for ailing parent long term for example this may get more sympathy than say house prices being cheaper.

BluebellBlueballs · 30/03/2023 17:47

Sounds like they are doing this to get you out as they know you can't come to the office from your current location.

MangoPi · 30/03/2023 17:47

Sorry OP, sounds like they are managing you out. Clearly they know a 300 mile commute is not going to happen for most people.

Fight it if you can (some good advice from previous poster about reasonable adjustment etc.) but i would be looking for other work.

LlynTegid · 30/03/2023 17:55

Seek advice, you are doing the right thing to start to find another job.

You may never know, but I wonder if your manager or someone more senior has had complaints about your being able to continue wfh until now, perhaps someone else who for different reasons wants to continue at home.

Whoguess · 30/03/2023 18:12

What support do you want from them?
if you previously did the job with no additional support, other than time off, what realistically can they do to help you right now?
Asking for non specific”support” isn’t helpful to an organisation.

NameChange60000 · 30/03/2023 18:30

They are trying to manage you out, they know you can't travel into work. What did your manager say at the time that you told them you were relocating? Did you tell them before or after you done it?

Calmdown14 · 30/03/2023 18:36

Could you offer to go in for a few days to help you get back on track?
Then ask for an updated performance review in a few weeks.

Is there a cheap premier Inn or a friend you could stay with to show willing? Re engage for a week and use this to demonstrate your performance has improved again for home working?

If they are trying to manage your being proactive and working out when you can go in, even short term, might buy you more time to demonstrate your value again.

DrHousecuredme · 30/03/2023 18:42

Ok I can see why they want you back in. In their eyes WFH is no longer productive for you so they want to fix that.
I agree that long term you need to be searching for a job that suits you better.
In the meantime you're going to have to find a way to compromise and show them you're genuinely trying.
How about asking for a month WFH with very specific, ambitious targets to meet then work your arse off to show them you still have it in you?
Or
How about two or three days in the office and find a b&b nearby for one or two nights?
Alternatively, if you're really not coping you you need to be signed off for a couple of months, get yourself in a better place, sort out how you're going to fix things?

babasaclover · 30/03/2023 18:48

Following

thegrain · 30/03/2023 18:49

What was the reason for your poor performance?

JudgeJ · 30/03/2023 18:54

Fifi1010 · 30/03/2023 16:14

I think you should look for a job closer to home. They are trying to manage you out as they know it's not going to be feasible for you to travel 300 miles. You don't have the paperwork to back up WFH. If you are struggling with your performance it's better you work in the office as you can't you will have to look for another job.

Of course it's not feasible to commute 300 miles but it was the OP's choice to move there presumably on the unsubstantiated assumption the WFH would be permanent. She can hardly expect her employer to let her choice of where to live adversely influence their business, she either moves back or finds another job.

drpet49 · 30/03/2023 19:53

thegrain · 30/03/2023 18:49

What was the reason for your poor performance?

This

5128gap · 30/03/2023 20:02

You remind them of your personal issues and that this was the reason for your first instance of reduced performance in 15 years, and nothing to do with WFH.
You point out that you are suffering from stress and that being required to return to the office would exacerbate this.
You ask them for the specific reasons why you're required to work from the office, and go prepared with alternative options, support via Zoom etc
If your MH is a long term condition, you request continued WFH as a reasonable adjustment.

Frankola · 30/03/2023 20:14

I think it's perfectly reasonable to ask someone who needs support and who is dropping in performance to come in to the office.

Original poster

2023cupcake · 30/03/2023 20:21

Thank you for all your responses. They’re very helpful.

I spoke to acas who firstly advised me all communication needs to be via email. No zoom calls or messages about this.

They've also told me to look through the company policies and documents.

I need to ask the question what the meeting is to be about. Is it an informal chat? A formal conversation? I need to mention, despite an informal chat about my performance here and there, there was nothing in writing and no plan was put in place. She assured me if they follow the correct procedures, they can’t just dismiss me or advise me to look for alternative employment without a conversation of some sort.

For the posters asking about my poor performance, I lost my family member in November. Only took off 5 days. I’m also going through a divorce which they are aware of. And also my mental health conversation which is the result of the above.

My poor performance isn’t effecting my team or the department as a whole. It’s a new KPI introduced by new management. I’m not underperforming by miles either. It’s just been a tough few months and I don’t believe this would be permanent.

A few mentioned staying there for a new nights etc, I suppose I could. My other parent lives there so I always have a place to stay. But I have a house here and a life here so it wasn’t my first option to go stay there.

it’s possible they’ve asked me to come in because they’ve had people going back in since Dec. People who have given reasonings for not wanting to, which HR have dismissed. My only reason is the distance. Other than that I have no problem.

I asked for specific support to help me achieve my targets again. I was advised it would be done and it was okay to have that time. I have asked 3 times this month for it.

So when this was sprung on me today, it did catch me off guard. Again I’m not undermining their decision. If my work was at the standard it was, ofcourse I would still be secure with my WFH role.

OP posts:

TomatoFrog · 30/03/2023 20:21

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This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

ExtraOnions · 30/03/2023 20:26

I’d be tempted to negotiate a settlement to leave. Check the redundancy terms. Also, look for a new job closer to home

OhcantthInkofaname · 30/03/2023 20:38

I think you need to ask them in this conference what being in the office would do to increase your performance. What I am mangling saying is - They need to tie your performance issues to location. You insist performance issues are related to situations other than location. Ask for a performance improvement plan based upon your current location. If your performance does not improve with that they might reasonably say you need to return to the office or leave your position.

MangoPi · 30/03/2023 20:46

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Nothing that person has said is bollocks at all - on the contrary you are well within your rights to request flexible working arrangements. Also, if someone has performed solidly and been a good employee for 15 years it's not unthinkable to request a little bit of understanding when going through a particularly tough time.

An employer doesn't have to be lenient of course - but the OP would be doing nothing wrong by having this conversation.

Frankola · 30/03/2023 20:51

Yes OP, you have every right to ask what the meeting is about. And if its an informal chat or formal meeting. If its a formal meeting you can ask for a witness present to take notes or union representation if you have it.

Porkandbeans1 · 30/03/2023 20:54

Start gathering all the information you can OP. Any emails that discuss you requesting more support, anything regarding your change in location, anything discussing your bereavement and MH struggles etc. Are you part of a union? Do not resign!

motherofkevinnotperry · 30/03/2023 20:54

This is the problem with informal arrangements. They have no grounding and can be reversed at any time. Like others have said you either meet their demands or you will be managed out of the business.

Just move jobs, it's probably easier and better done now.

Original poster

2023cupcake · 01/04/2023 14:26

Thank you for all the replies.
just wanted to give you all an update.

I had my meeting yesterday. It was an informal meeting.
I explained my reasonings for not wanting to commute to the office. The lady from HR had a look at my performance and said I was only 2% under what my targets are. So I should be given a chance to improve especially with things i have had going on.

We will have a review in 3 weeks and see where I’m at.

OP posts:

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