To secretly hate play dates....?

[RoseAdagio]

Please tell me I'm not awful!

I'm obviously glad my daughter has plenty of friends to go on them with. I really don'twant to sound ungrateful for that. And I know they are good for her, especially as she is an only child. But....they are so stressful. I can never relax. Perhaps partly because of the aforementioned only child status, she sometimes either a) wants to play with me instead, or b) gets mardy when the other child doesn't want to do the exact thing she wants to do at the exact time she wants to do it. I've tried explaining to her that you have to be prepared to share, take turns, and do what other people.want to do some of the time too. And yes, I know the play dates will (or should?!) help her get better at this kind of thing, but they still stress me out tbh.

Soft play birthday parties are the same. Her friends will play together, she will join in a bit some times but often just go off on her own or want me to go in with her. And I hate going into the soft play myself. Parties with entertainers and party games are much better, she happily does what everyone else does and always looks to enjoy them more than soft play.

Before anyone asks - she is 5 (just turned 5), she IS neurotypical in case any of you were thinking maybe that's the issue here, and she is actually quite popular and seems to have plenty of friends.

Please tell me I'm not the only one!

I know what you mean; when we first started them I found it stressful wondering when she was going to have a strop and feeling like other children played better than she did. As time has gone on we often meet with people I’ve become friends with and I’ve seen their children have meltdowns too. We’re now entering the stage where parents don’t have to stay which is nice as I’m confident she’s well behaved at other peoples and at ours I can get both children engaged in activities more easily than when I’m also trying to chat to their mum and the other child is better behaved by themselves too

She’s just learning, I’m sure it will get better. I had some excruciating moments with my then 5 y o (especially after lockdowns) where she’d sulk and want to only play with me rather than a friend who was over.
Shes 6 and a half now, and goes over to friends/they come to us loads and never have this any more (bar the odd brief disagreement between them ).
I think just try to ride it out/try not to take it too seriously, “let’s find an activity we can do with X as they’re our guest”. I worried my daughter’s strops were awful but they all do it then become friends again as if nothing happened (after I’d been stressed as hell wondering whether to call it a day early!)

Hope things improve soon, it’s so worthwhile to pursue because when they do get to the stage they’re independently playing for hours it’s great!