MIL & baby clothes

[Greenandredblocks]

I have two DCs , a DD 3 year old and a DS one year old.

My MIL called me and asked me if I can give a few baby clothes to the daughter of one of her friends as she is having soon her first kid.

I don’t have any issues giving some of my kids baby clothes but I am wondering if in her mind I and my DH are done with kids.

We have not ruled out not having another baby and it’s something that we haven’t discussed with her and we don’t intend to.

YABU - She didn’t assume you are done with kids, it’s irrelevant and passing down some clothes has nothing to do with how many kids you will have.

YANBU - In her mind you are done with kids

I doubt she's thinking that deeply. Sees "expecting a baby", thinks "needs baby clothes", thinks "Oh Green has baby clothes, maybe I can be helpful".

Say no you've promised them to a friend or are keeping them to reuse. I sincerely doubt expectant parent will be in dire need - everyone wants to give/ donate you baby clothes for your first!

I expect she thought you would say if it was something you didn’t want to do.

She's not considered whether you'll have more kids. She just knows that someone who's having one at the moment might benefit from them and you're not currently using them.

I think it could be either of these options. Does it matter?

@Marchforward Yes probably… but our baby making plans it’s not something that I want to discuss with my MIL and there is no our valid reason that I wouldn’t want to pass down a few clothes. So, I was “forced” in my mind to say “of course, I will give her a few”

I wouldn't read too much into it; for all you know, her friend has mentioned the impending baby to all of her friends with grandchildren, on the offchance.
Or maybe she's secretly hoping that she'll be told that you are not ready to pass on baby clothes.
You could simply tell her that, given that said baby clothes have served duty twice, they are not really in a condition to be of interest.

Or you could've said you have them earmarked for somebody else.

This

It's clothes not a declaration of motherhood

Sure fine to say no but far out it's just clothes

I think you are overthinking it - if you want to keep them for the future, just say you already gave some to a friend who is expecting.

Yes right, thanks all. It looks like I am overthinking it

It’s not that deep, why do you care so much?

I was just wondering/ I am curious what thoughts crossed her mind when she asked me to pass down baby things.

Seriously, just say yes or no, it’s not a trick question

Just conveniently forget about it. If she mentions it again tell her you haven’t had time to look them out/don’t have anything suitable to pass on/have given them to charity or whatever. I have no respect for other people promising my belongings or time to others, it’s not their property to pass on.

Regardless of whether you’re finished having children or not it’s really cheeky. They’re your possessions, to keep, give away or sell as you see fit!

You wouldn’t say, MIL I noticed you’ve got two toasters, can you give one to my friend please.

It’s a bit of an awkward one to get out of though when asked directly though without sounding rude, I get that. Can you just pretend you’re very sentimental and want to keep everything for now?

Or you have already given them away or their not accessible now or you are planning in selling them.

You're overthinking this.

Just keep the really nice stuff you might want another child to wear, then hand on anything else.

You wouldn't want DC3 wearing exactly the same clothes!?

And then if you do have DC3, then you can make your MIL buy more for you!

I think you’re overthinking this. It’s used clothes. If you still want to use it, just say it or say you’ve given them to someone else. I have 2 DD’s (9yo and 4yo) and sometimes, people are asking me for asking me for DD1’s clothes which I think should be obvious that I’ll be saving them for DD2 so sometimes I give some and sometimes I just tell them that I’m saving it. No hard feelings.

@ChickenDhansak82 Hahaha! I like your way of thinking