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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to be furious with DP and ignore him all morning

14 replies

Julezboo · 13/02/2008 12:49

So he started a new job this week in my friends place, I have her 1yr, my 1yr and my DS (5) normally i wouldnt whinge or moan cos its what I do. But I am at the min going through my 6th mc, Ive kept having her 1yr and my two this week even though I am throwing up constantly, therefore got no energy and feel shakey and drained. I honestly just about manage to get them down for naps and feed them My 5 yr old is being a start in helping because of the struggle for other childcare.

Anyway I was dreading today I had to take 5yr old to an appt at the hospital, I got an early night to see if it helped, I still woke up feeling like crap so was generally in a crappy mood this morning so tried to keep my mouth shut.

DP said I was wallowing in self pity and an unsufferable bitch because i said i was worried about coping with the 3 of them going out with the way I am. He also said I dont know what being sick is and he doesnt think I am actually sick... Then worst of all I was washing the bottles when he said to me "are you getting your period or something"

Soo fuming at him right now, he didnt even say goodbye or good luck or anything. Luckily I did manage ok this morning but now feel like shite. He hasnt text or rung to see how I go on and apparently I need to sort myself out and eat properly !

I do eat properly, but it doesnt stay down. Part of me often wonders what the hell they would do if I got taken into hospital with dehydration or something I am so angry i wanna go into his work and punch him in the head and leave or even make him walk home later.

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smartiejake · 13/02/2008 13:43

Are you serious! You are looking after 3 children whilst in the process of having a mc!!Does your friend know about this? Surely she would understand and make other arrangements for her dc?

You need to rest and let your body recover without undue stress especially as you are feeling so poorly.

As for your DP I would pack his cases, leave them on the doorstep and change the locks. What an unsypathetic, self obsessed
total barst**d. Even if you are grouchy it's completely understandable under the circumstances.

VinegarTits · 13/02/2008 13:49

'wallowing in self pity' farking hell does he think you have a cold, he needs a big wakeup call i think! i would pack a bag for yourself and leave him with the kids and go off somewhere you can recoup. (family/friends/nice hotel) and be properly looked after! what a dick

Mikafan · 13/02/2008 13:54

I'm confused, your going through a MC and yet your husband is asking "are you getting your period or something" - does he not realise whats happening?

Julezboo · 13/02/2008 14:09

thanks all, MC hasnt started to happen yet, hense the sickness.

Mikafan - he knows exactly whats happening we've been down this road 5 times before.

I know hes worried but it doesnt give him right to speak to me like a piece of shit.

Vinagertits if i had the money id be off to a hotel but is Baby's 1st birthday on sat so need to get through that.

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Lulumama · 13/02/2008 14:18

julez, this sounds awful.

he might , and i am being icredibly charitable here, being nasty as he is upset about the miscarriage.

actually, it still gives him no excuse to speak to you in such a way.

you should not be minding anyone elses's children right now, you should be having help with yours

when you back at the EPU?

Mikafan · 13/02/2008 14:20

Men can be incredibly thoughtless. My ex (thankfully) DH when I was having a MC left me to it and went to work, but it wasn't just be back at the end of the day work, he was working away from home for a week and left me to look after my then 4 year old DS1

OrmIrian · 13/02/2008 14:22

What an arse!

Julezboo · 13/02/2008 16:33

lulumama - I did thankyou very much for emailing me.

Im due back there on Fri morning.

Its just like him to get nasty when hes upset anf worried but so am I! Im the one bloody being sick all day long

Im just off to pick him up now and go on the ignoring him! He is having the boys when he gets home Im going for a bath and then bed

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Lulumama · 13/02/2008 16:34

will he even know why you are ignoring him> can you tell him he has hurt you>

this must be a very emotional time, especially if yuou are not even sure if you are miscarrying and you are feeling so rough

Wisteria · 13/02/2008 16:43

I can understand that he's hurting as well but FFS there is absolutely no excuse for saying that to you (about your period) - it's heartless and cruel.

Could he be really angry at himself for saying it too and now is doing the 'man thing' of retreating into a bunker, hoping the bombs will stop? It's what my dp does every time he is a bit of an arse, he's more cross with himself than anything else.

Just so sad for you, I think your friend is being unfair to expect you to mind her child as well if you are going through all this - why couldn't she offer to take a day off work to have yours so you could have some rest .

Julezboo · 13/02/2008 17:05

lulumama he does know, i told him it was a heartless thing to say, well my exact words where

"you are either completely dense or just a total heartless twat" then i flounced!

Have to go im running late woops!

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Kitti · 13/02/2008 17:50

do you have a shovel and large garden behind your house? on a serious note I think that is absolutely terrible and you really need to think about your relationship. This isn't you being unreasonable but seems to be some very serious stuff going on here that needs sorting and it sounds more than him just being a twat. If he doesn't apologise for his behaviour and soon then I don't know what to suggest.

Chequers · 13/02/2008 19:17

Message withdrawn

Julezboo · 14/02/2008 08:47

Well he said sorry but pretty much the same thing happened this morning I told him I am not picking him up from work tonight he can walk for all I care. I do not need this!

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