My friend is a catch: fun, clever, good career, financially independent, conventionally attractive, lots of friends, sporty, outgoing. She’s 34 next month and she says she wants a relationship and a family.
Her last proper relationship ended about six years ago and since then she’s dated, amongst others, a man who lives with his wife and three kids, a drug dealer, multiple men into ethical non-monogamy including some who lived with their girlfriends, our mutual friend’s ex (a serial cheat who then cheated on her), a man who was unemployed and had been sofa-surfing for a year, a man who was open about not wanting a relationship from the first date… I’ve not met any of them as it’s never got to that stage but have heard all about them.
After each fling ends, she’s disappointed and sad. I know it’s hard in the dating world (I was single not so long ago and no relationship is perfect), casual dating can be fun, and I’m trying not to be judgemental, but I feel like if she wants to have children, she’s wasting her time on these losers. We have some eligible mutual friends who have been interested in the past and some of my single friends have wanted to take her on dates, but she always declines.
At this point it feels like she’s self-sabotaging but if I suggest she deserves better or that someone’s a bad prospect, she gets defensive. I’d love to see her happy with someone who is solvent and interested in sharing a future. AIBU to just change the subject if she discusses men from now on?