You can tell me if I am.
Background - my son is 15. Diagnosed with autism when he was 5. He has an EHCP, goes to a specialist secondary school where he gets transport every day. Gets DLA - HRC, LRM. Not able to do anything independently - never been anywhere alone. Never even been to a friends house without me there.
Im hoping he will be able to work when he's older however I doubt he will ever be able to drive or live independently. Im not putting him down here, Im just being realistic for the purpose of this post.
There are a lot of children in the same position my son and this post relates to all, not just him.
I also have a daughter who does not have any additional needs and she plays for a local football team. The mums of the football team recently went out for lunch while the girls went shopping in our local shopping centre. There were 11 of us in total. Apart form 1 mum (my best friend) I barely know the others other than saying hi etc at the matches.
So we are all sat at a table in the restaurant and the talk turns to autism. 4 out of 11 of these mums thought their daughters (who play football) were on the autistic spectrum. 3 of these were on the waiting list for cahms and 1 of these just beginning their journeys. Another mum was trying to get her son diagnosed while another mum thought her son had adhd. 1 of these girls already had a diagnosis.
This meant that including myself, 8 out of 11 parents either have or could potentially have a child with additional needs.
So I began asking them why they think their child has autism/adhd. The majority of answers were they just felt something was 'not quite right' with their child. They then mainly spoke about lack of support from school or the waiting times to get appointments.
Please be aware that I am not shaming these parents. I don't know them well enough to make any judgments. I am not saying that these kids are not autistic or do not have adhd.
But what I will say - 4 of these kids who are possibly on the spectrum were currently shopping with all their friends. They are social, they have friendships, they are independent, they can keep themselves safe. These girls are 12. My son at the age of 15 can not do anything of these things. Yet he would have exactly the same diagnosis as these girls.
I know autism is a huge huge spectrum - I get it completely. But I worry for my son and others like him - the more vulnerable ones. If autism becomes such a common thing to have - what about the most vulnerable? If Paul cannot live a normal life yet Adam, Jane, Julie and Pete can - will Paul end up with a lack of support because 'everyone has autism so it's nothing'
I may have worded this all wrong but after a premed consultation this morning with my sons teachers, we got on the subject and they also share my worries.