DC has some cousins on my side that I’ve always insisted are invited to parties.
They always come never bring a present but I’ve never worried about that as it’s just part of it. They never talk to DC, never talk to me either. They talk to each other, stand in a corner and chat if it’s a hall type party or get involved in the activity but don’t speak to me or DC. And often leave without me even knowing.
I’ve just seen on Social Media that one of the cousins had a party over the weekend and never invited DC. I wouldn’t be bothered but all the other cousins from that side of the family where invited. When I bring it up I get told the invite was “forgotten”. It wasn’t because they always do this, every single year. They’re all a similar age. I always send a card with money in anyway.
They literally could walk passed us in the street and not know us though, we’re just names on a piece of card. It’s not the DCs fault though, they’re all under 10, it’s their parents for not extending the invite to DC. I’ve tried to do playdates or park meet ups when all the DC were younger and they’d say yes and ignore us or invite others along at my expense and still ignore me. But I do feel bad for the DC.
These are my cousins children not my DNs, all the parents are cousins of each other, no sibling groupings (there are sibling groups but of the 3 sets of cousins only 1 out of 2 or 3 siblings has DC) or anything, they literally invite the 5 other DC from that side and leave out my DC.
ExHs family do not do that. They always invite DC to both the family party and their actual birthday party with friends, they come to DCs party, bring a card and speak to DC and ExH. I’ve also seen them playing with DC at past parties. They also always thank me for the invite as they’re leaving. Again these are ExHs cousins DC not his DNs and there is a sibling pair who have 1st cousins but they still come and speak to DC and ExH and take part properly.
I want to carry on inviting ExHs cousins, they’re lovely DC and my own DC actually enjoys seeing them. When DC goes to ExHs they often come home chatting about “my cousins” and names them also DC says they include them in their games. DC is actually the youngest on that side to. On my side DC is roughly in the middle.
I feel bad as the children have done nothing wrong, but it feels mean to DC to insist they invite them and bunk friends off the list when DC barely knows them and they don’t try and get involved with DC they’re basically there for free food and entertainment for a few hours. DC actually asks if ExHs side can come as “they’re both friends and family and I love them” and I’ve seen them actually help DC do activities or playing games with them during parties.
So WIBU to only invite ExHs side even though I feel horrendously guilty about it?