To wfh because I’m pregnant and have morning sickness.

[Namechange20222022]

We are meant to work in the office 3 days per week.

I’m 8 weeks pregnant and really struggling in the mornings to get ready and commute to work. I get waves of nausea and have vomited a few times.

AIBU to say I can’t come in until the next trimester when hopefully I’ll feel a bit better? I can do my role fine from home and we WFH fully during the pandemic so I don’t ‘need’ to be in, it’s just their rule.

@Namechange20222022 definitely ask, they can only say no, but hopefully they won't.

As one of the crack-on dinosaurs.
Let the HR team know as people have said so any days off or working from home are registered as pregnancy and ask would work best for you and the company. Obviously there are jobs where WFH isn't an option.

Ask to see how it goes. There's always the idea at 12 weeks you suddenly feel well but I know while I did, other family members didn't.
However it was true for me at least that getting out including tube journeys, walking and working took my mind off things and made me feel marginally better. WFH wasn't an opportunity in those days.
If you have the worst sort of sickness (HG) where you are seriously ill, you need to be in hospital or family care a la Kate Middleton. It's 3pc of the pregnant population but still a concern.

Personally, I didn't want to be "that" pregnant woman stopping the car in rush hour traffic to throw up into the gutter, nor did I want to be "that" pregnant woman throwing up into the bin under my desk in an open plan office, freaking my colleagues out by being "that" pregnant woman having to lie on the floor before dehydration, nausea and exhaustion caused me to keel over.
So I worked from home and saved alot of people alot of unpleasantness.

I 'cracked' on 7 years ago. Why do you relegate everyone with the resilience to carry on as a 'dinosaur' (nice ageism, the way)?

I don't think everyone should crack on just because I did, I think there should be a sensible discussion and compromise about how individual is feeling and what they can cope with, but I don't think people should just immediately cop out.

Personally, I worried how it would affect my career and how I would be perceived, so I got on with it. I know there are laws that 'protect' women, but if every pregnant person basically flakes out, because they can, not because they actually need to, it will affect the employability of women between 25-45.

For christ's sake. How do you think women coped with morning sickness before wfh was invented?
Women need to make up their minds; either pregancy is a perfectly natural thing and you can work, skydie and do all the other things normal people do, or it's an excuse to absolve yourself from any responsibility and lie on a chaise-lounge all day
How do people who do stuff like, I don't know, saving lives, manage. They can't oprate from home, or fight a fire

to add this is not my first pregnancy. I also have a 7 year old and worked in the office though out my pregnancy. A few differences

• there was no option to wfh back then. We just didn’t have the set up and there was no WFH option
• now we can all 100% wfh if/when we need to, but there has been an expectation to be in the office 3 days
• if we feel unwell or have a cold we don’t need to go in. Pre covid everyone went in coughing and sneezing.
• times have changed, even in 7 years we now have a better mat leave policy and I know they are more careful how they treat pregnant women

yes I vomited in the loo at work back then, I really struggled for weeks. It was awful, the train journey was the worst. But just because I’ve done it in the past do I really need to do go though it again when it’s just not as necessary?

Lots of "natural" things can be debilitating and cause a person to not be able to function as normal.
I was hospitalised more than once because of sickness. In the past, women actually died of that level of pregnancy sickness, they didn't just "cope for Christs sake" and they certainly were not off fighting fires.
Honestly the ignorance of this comment.
Also WFH would not be OP "absolving herself of responsibility", it would be optimising her output I'd it means she can continue working and have half a chance of managing her sickness.

I was hospitalised more than once because of sickness. In the past, women actually died of that level of pregnancy sickness, they didn't just "cope for Christs sake" and they certainly were not off fighting fires.

But we're not talking about that level of sickness, that's something completely separate and fairly rare. We're talking about feeling nauseous - which is really horrible but definitely not in the same category as HG.

I don’t really want to tell my employer before my 12 week scan, I ‘have flu-like symptoms’ this week and might cite childcare drop off issues during the Easter holidays - this is partially true as the holiday club opens later than breakfast club and I’d be late for work.

I get that, I just take massive issue with the idea that all women are absolutely fine during pregnancy and anyone that claims otherwise is either a weakling or a liar.

I had HG with both pregnancies. I took anti sickness meds and still threw up all day every day until I gave birth. I was a front line police sergeant and spent my days lay on the police station toilet floor working from a tablet and answering the radio calls. It was horrendous and I wouldn't wish it on anyone else. It doesn't make me think I had a shit time so others should too. It makes me sympathetic to how awful the situation can be. Pregnancy may not be an illness in and of itself, but it can definitely make you feel horrendous.

If someone can wfh to make their life slightly easier, I generally don't see why that shouldn't happen. Pregnancy is hard enough, why make it harder if it doesn't have to be?

Lucky for you we "old dinosaurs " were made of tough stuff .
If we had adopted this "let me stay at home "attitude that is prevalent today ,we would all be back at home ,in the kitchen and reliant on a man to provide for us .

who are these let me stay at home women you’re referring to.
oh wait, it’s pregnant women who are ill and now statutorily protected from pervasive, bitter attitudes like this of course from other women.

if you were really at all concerned with championing women’s rights then the fact women cannot legally be discriminated against for sickness in pregnancy would be a cause for celebration. Especially if you’d actually struggled yourself.

Why should anybody just ‘crack on’ when the technology is available to make lives a bit easier. It’s a really odd ethos to suggest you must go in to the office to your detriment if it’s perfectly possible and feasible to work from home.

OP, I would tell your line manager you are pregnant (don’t say it’s a cold) - firstly if you are sick, pregnancy related absences should be recorded separately and can’t be included in trigger processes for absence management. Secondly it allows an ongoing basis for reasonable adjustments. I don’t think you should go in with a blanket view of not attending the office for the whole first trimester but ask instead if you can WFH on bad days or until you are feeling better again.