Dear dear friend distanced themselves from me at a really crucial moment in my life and a huge double bereavement, both parents, I have no siblings), I occasionally checked in to tumbleweed, got nothing back and then I just gave up, drew a line under the friendship and moved on.
then basically nearly 18 months later, friend got back in contact saying that they were jealous and it hurt and then that my going through a tough time would be too much for them then, but they are in a good place right now and want to rekindle friendship. In truth I had mixed feelings, because on one side its really important to protect your own mental health but then on the other I was super hurt by what she did and even her explanation of why she distanced. There was also some blame put on me for not making enough effort which I didn’t think was fair as I was reaching out and getting nothing back.
now we’ve arrange times to catch up, one of which she’s been a no show and basically stood me up and others is been last minute cancellations, she’s profusely apologetic and promises next time will be different and proposes a new time and location to meet. It’s happened 4/5 times now. I’m finding it quite hurtful.
aibu just to call it a day and say next time she reaches out that it’s ok, I wish her well but I think we’ve outgrown our friendship and that’s ok, let’s just leave it there, no hard feelings but knowing that we’re at two different stages in our lives right now. We’re now in our 40s so it’s not a petty falling out but rather stepping away from a relationship that’s not working