To feel sad about this?

[LilacRain12]

A family friend died last week of cancer and left behind a 35 year old and a 29 year old as well as a husband of over 30 years and baby godsons.
My mum said 'Thank goodness she got to see her children married and with kids.'
Can't help but feel really sad that at 37, this will likely never happen for me. Especially not the kids part (don't want them) but I also can't see myself meeting anyone either. Just feel sad that I could be causing a lot of anxiety to my family wondering what will become of me once everyone has gone. 😔

Has anyone actually said they’re worried for you?

That was a bit insensitive of your mum but I think what she probably meant was 'good that she saw her dc settled and happy.'

I have four adult dc and that is all I'd want - don't care if they're married with kids, would just like to know that they'll be ok without me, that I've navigated them to adulthood and done a good job.

If it's going to bother you, talk to your mum to get some clarity but I really think that's what she meant but worded badly.

Not to my face but everyone in my family has been married for many, many years and so I am the minority. After what was said it got me thinking.
Just feel frustrated that it is like this as I don't want to be the one everyone is worrying about in their older years. It isn't my fault I haven't met anyone, it just hasn't happened for me.

I don’t have kids, but I can appreciate that there is something very sad about someone who does but doesn’t live long enough to see them in their adult lives. Sad for them and for the children. It wouldn’t occur to me that this comment might mean that it’s a tragedy or cause for concern that I don’t have children myself.

Oh OP don’t take it to heart so.

When someone dies, people look for the little glimmer of consolation … “at least she didn’t suffer”… “at least he didn’t live to see his football club relegated”… “at least she got the chance to take that trip to Honolulu she always wanted to take”.

People will say things without thinking. They aren’t necessarily getting at you.

What will the family say about you? “At least she lived her life to the full, even if she didn’t get to have the fairytale romance she was so loved by her family it gave her everything she needed and she got to do all those things you can’t when you are tied down by relationship”. Or whatever.

I think people will be saying the opposite. That it was so sad that I never met anyone, had kids and had chronic health issues. My legacy will be non existent or spoken about in pity.
This lady I mentioned in my OP should have lived. She was a wife, a mother, a grandmother, confident, vibrant, fun. Life is wicked. 😔