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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Child in hospital they want to discharge her but I feel uncomfortable

104 replies

Scaredmumsickchild · 27/03/2023 11:06

7 year old tested positive for
covid last Wednesday, has been really unwell since then with high temp, sore throat and general unwellness

Admitted to hospital last night with non blanching rash and given first dose of antibiotic for meningitis intramuscular

Loads of attempts to get blood it was barbaric and eventually managed it in the early hours lt was so upsetting and she was in agony and terrified

Most bloods back ok but cultures will take up to 48 hours

They are encouraging me to take her home whilst we wait, but that will mean her having to be recanulated if we have to come back

in the mean time she’s spiking 39 temp again, so poorly and not eaten more than tiny amounts in a week and only having sips of fluids. She vomited again overnight also

Aibu to want to stay? I feel uncomfortable taking her home this unwell but they are saying they are convinced it’s only viral (Covid) and haven’t even checked the rash today! (It has faded but still not blanching)

OP posts:
Megifer · 27/03/2023 15:08

I'm also with you on this, if my DC was that unwell that I felt uncomfortable about bringing them home from hospital, when thats all I'd want to do, that would be enough for me to stand my ground. Especially if still awaiting some test results.

If they need the bed that badly they can get a rush on the tests and confirm what the issue is can't they. I'm not normally a dramatic person but there's been too many stories of hospitals sending kids home only for them to get seriously ill or something missed. Nope.

Marden11302 · 27/03/2023 15:25

When my 4 month old was in hospital his CRP was 65, but his blood cultures ended up coming back negative. However he stopped weeing after they mentioned about going home so I refused as I thought he was getting worse. They allowed us to stay until he had three more wet nappies. Hope your little one is better soon x

HostessTrolley · 27/03/2023 15:54

You can't 'get a rush' on blood cultures. They basically put the sample in an incubator and look for bacterial growth at 48 hours (preliminary results) and 5 days (full results). It can't be hurried up

memorial · 27/03/2023 20:56

Catspyjamas17 · 27/03/2023 14:53

I can't understand why they would discharge a child who is clearly still so unwell.

Because maybe they're making a decision based on medical parameters not a tired worried mothers anxiety. If everyone stayed in hospital until they (rather than the doctors) were ready....We'd be in even more mess than we are now

Sleepingmole · 27/03/2023 21:05

tryst your instinct, non blanching rash and raised crp and still v unwell. Surely they’ve given more than one dose of antibiotics? Seems crazy to go home before she’s improving or had more treatment

mycoffeecup · 27/03/2023 21:07

missmydad76 · 27/03/2023 13:55

Push for a sepsis test. Don’t trust any of them. Trust your gut. And start writing down each of their names and exactly what they say in a notebook when they come and talk to you. If you have a man in your life get him to come as well to speak to them as unfortunately the NHS is misogynist to its core (even the women in it).

We had a death in the family of a 14 year old with undiagnosed sepsis until it was too late - it was utter negligence and misogyny on the part of the doctors who didn’t listen to the mother when she bloody told them to look for sepsis. I hope no one ever has to go through what her parents went through again.

Push for a sepsis test

I do wish people who have zero medical knowledge wouldn't say something like this. Do tell me @missmydad76 , what a sepsis test is? clue - it doesn't exist. I'm so sorry to hear about your relative, but please don't spout bollocks on the internet and accuse NHS staff of being misogynists. that doesn't help.

mycoffeecup · 27/03/2023 21:07

Scaredmumsickchild · 27/03/2023 13:50

@sotired2 so is 30 not too bad? I’m looking on google and can’t make sense 😭

What's the trend? 60 yesterday, 30 today = good
10 yesterday, 30 today = bad

Fordian · 27/03/2023 21:18

Sleepingmole · 27/03/2023 21:05

tryst your instinct, non blanching rash and raised crp and still v unwell. Surely they’ve given more than one dose of antibiotics? Seems crazy to go home before she’s improving or had more treatment

Oh! How many doses should get have given? Of what? Over how long?

Do tell.

Bababear987 · 27/03/2023 21:22

Catspyjamas17 · 27/03/2023 14:53

I can't understand why they would discharge a child who is clearly still so unwell.

Because it doesnt seem that they're actually treating her for anything so why does staying in hospital actually help the child?

A child appearing ill and needing to be I'm hospital arent the same thing. Children get sick all the time, but if all of her observations are normal then she will recover quicker at home.

Bababear987 · 27/03/2023 21:25

Sleepingmole · 27/03/2023 21:05

tryst your instinct, non blanching rash and raised crp and still v unwell. Surely they’ve given more than one dose of antibiotics? Seems crazy to go home before she’s improving or had more treatment

What treatment would you suggest? Should we pump her full of every antibiotic known to man?

If the hospital isnt actually doing anything or treating her then theres no point in stay. For most viral issues there are no treatments you just have to recover and if that can be done at home then that's surely better for everyone

memorial · 27/03/2023 21:28

Sleepingmole · 27/03/2023 21:05

tryst your instinct, non blanching rash and raised crp and still v unwell. Surely they’ve given more than one dose of antibiotics? Seems crazy to go home before she’s improving or had more treatment

Where did you get your medical degree from ? Such absolute sodding bollocks no.wonder the NHS is fucked

JennieTheZebra · 27/03/2023 21:31

Finally some voices of reason. I gave up earlier… Surely at the moment the OP needs to trust the medical professionals rather than being told her child might be “dangerously ill”, despite largely normal obs?

evergreen2 · 27/03/2023 21:37

missmydad76 · 27/03/2023 13:55

Push for a sepsis test. Don’t trust any of them. Trust your gut. And start writing down each of their names and exactly what they say in a notebook when they come and talk to you. If you have a man in your life get him to come as well to speak to them as unfortunately the NHS is misogynist to its core (even the women in it).

We had a death in the family of a 14 year old with undiagnosed sepsis until it was too late - it was utter negligence and misogyny on the part of the doctors who didn’t listen to the mother when she bloody told them to look for sepsis. I hope no one ever has to go through what her parents went through again.

You sound daft as a brush. There is no bloody 'sepsis test'!

The poor child needs to go home to get better.

Marshatessa · 27/03/2023 22:06

Trust your gut

labellefrance2 · 27/03/2023 22:06

Follow your gut but if it reassures you at al my son was in a few weeks ago and was unwell with high temp for almost a week and a half so there are some nasty viruses out there. We think this is what he had as he initially went in with appendicitis symptoms of vomiting and tummy ache (not acute pain ). Hope she's soon well x

WandaWonder · 27/03/2023 22:08

So a child can stay in hospital for a month (or whatever) because a parent wants them too?

The hospital system is not there as 'well there could be something so we are staying'

It is impossible to run a hospital on 'trust your instinct'

ChristmasSirens · 27/03/2023 22:14

If you are still really worried, explain that and ask to speak with the consultant. They will be able to explain what their reasoning is, and when to seek help if your DC gets worse. It’s a scary time when your child is sick, it is ok to ask for a review and more explanation from the consultant.

difficultdifficultlemondifficult · 27/03/2023 22:18

I would refuse to accept discharge until the results are back due to temperature and potential for dehydration.

Once the tests are back, if everything is clear I'd happily go home for her to recover. If they are not, or anything goes wrong in the mean time, you are where you need to be.

jamsandwich1 · 27/03/2023 22:18

They’ll have the bloods back, just not cultures yet. I imagine the bloods are reassuring and she’s a reason to be spiking temps. I can’t think for a second that if there was any concern re: bacterial meningitis they’d even think about letting you go.
I'm saying this with my doctor hat on but my parent hat is completely different so I do really feel for you. Maybe ask for a chat with one of the team so they can listen to your concerns and reassure.

LetsPlayShadowlands · 27/03/2023 22:25

Hope you're both doing OK xx

gettingolderbutcooler · 27/03/2023 22:28

They need beds for children who need it more.

SleepyRich · 27/03/2023 23:17

To add a little more context as I don't think this was mentioned regards why just 1 dose of antibiotic and then no more -

If a bacterial meningitis is a suspicion then it's safer to give the first dose of antibiotic then wait and see, as if it is b.meningitis having the antibiotic 1-2 hours earlier can make a big big difference. It's not uncommon for GPs and Paramedics to administer benpen ?meningitis only for the patient to be discharged just a few hours later following review by a consultant/similar and some blood work.

I work for the ambulance service and it's something that comes up often in any training course that covers childhood illness- if you're considering meningitis as a potential, so the rash, high pitched cry, stiff neck, or photophobia with fever/illness just give the benpen, even if I think a minor illness is much more likely. Because if it turns out it was bacterial meningitis they'll be much better for having that dose earlier. If I'm wrong and it's simple self limiting infection then there's probably not going to be any harm from having the dose, fingers crossed not discovering an allergy on administration!

Also fevers - having a fever is not a bad thing, it's one of the bodies mechanisms for fighting infection. If we eliminated it completely we're in effect working against the body and its immune response (however we feel much better and it generally only prolongs recovery a little bit so most people prefer to do it).

starfishmummy · 27/03/2023 23:21

JennieTheZebra · 27/03/2023 14:08

@starfishmummy
Yes, but that will have shown in the sats. No child is “dangerously, life threateningly ill” (at least not imminently) with normal blood pressure, heart rate, o2 etc. Sure, there may be something else nasty going on but that will show in the bloods. It’s far far more unhelpful to imply that a child (which will have been scored against local PEWS) is sicker than the hospital thinks they are. HCPs do know what they’re doing, honest.

So actually, yes. This has happened to my child. More than one occasion. But I'm sure you know better.

missmydad76 · 27/03/2023 23:27

Really CBA to fight with people on here particularly those throwing personal insults. There are various tests doctors do to ascertain whether or not a patient has sepsis.

I didn’t want to post this earlier and freak the OP out but given the terrible advice posters on here are dishing out while screeching about others not being medical professionals and then themselves giving out terrible advice, here, read this:

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2022/sep/03/13-year-old-daughter-dead-in-five-weeks-hospital-mistakes

Wishing you and your DC the best of luck OP. Trust your gut, not doctors.

‘We had such trust, we feel such fools’: how shocking hospital mistakes led to our daughter’s death

Martha was 13; her whole life stretched out ahead of her. But our faith in doctors turned out to be fatal. This is what I wish I’d known

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2022/sep/03/13-year-old-daughter-dead-in-five-weeks-hospital-mistakes

homeeddingwitch · 27/03/2023 23:34

As a (sadly) seasoned hospital parent I would always alway say ‘trust your instincts’ when it comes to your child.

Yes we all want to believe that doctors know best (and they usually do) but sometimes, just occasionally, they don’t.

I’ve had to advocate for my child in hospital more times than I care to remember. Yes they are wonderful and yes they have saved my child’s life, but if your gut instinct is telling you to stay, I implore you to stay.

I hope she gets better soon x