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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To move away from the UK to a Mediterranean country. Has anyone done it?

110 replies

Justalittlebitmore · 27/03/2023 10:19

I've been taking a long hard look at my life recently. I've got a great job with people I love to be around. I also have a small second job on the side that I can do from home and DS to ferry around. I don't have any time for myself. But I need to have both jobs to survive financially, DH also works very long hours.

Maybe I've taken too much on but the more I think about it, the more I don't want to be here (UK) anymore. I'm not sure what I am working so hard for. I have health issues that mean I probably won't live to retirement age, although I am very well at the moment. I can't help feel like I need to totally overhaul my life and enjoy it more. I can't stand the weather here, I spend most of my life waiting for summer and wishing away the rest of the year.

I love the Mediterranean and can't stop thinking about jumping ship and moving over there to build a new life. Maybe not now, but in 5 -10 years.

Has anyone done anything like this? Did it work out?

OP posts:

girlfriend44 · 30/03/2023 19:05

A few family members have done it. They have never returned and don't speak the lingo because everyone speaks English.

Mirabai · 30/03/2023 20:35

Greenfairydust · 30/03/2023 19:02

@Mirabai
@Greenfairydust

''Despite your denial your post exemplifies my comments.

The heat is an issue for you, it’s not for a lot of people. Tuscany often hits 40 in August this is not new. I don’t know why that panics certain English, it doesn’t phase Italians. Unless you are infirm or overweight heat is not dangerous - unless of course you go out in the midday sun like mad dogs etc. Mediterranean lifestyle with midday siesta is set up for the heat.

As to French it is most certainly not a difficult language to learn. It ranks in the top 5 easiest languages for English speakers. This is because it’s a super regular language and the pronunciation is clear from the spelling. English is an irregular language with unpredictable grammar, tenses, pronunciation.

No idea why the British make such a meal of learning languages!''

I find this post really quite amusing actually.

Since:

I am a French national, and British, but not English
I spent about 20 years living on the island of Sicily so I know more than enough about the Mediterranean lifestyle. Climate change is an issue in places where you already had high temperatures as the norm
Thank you for explaining to me what my mother tongue (French) is like. I feel most enlightened. French is not a ''super regular language'', neither is the pronunciation clear from the spelling.

But seriously back to you OP, I wish you good luck with you plans and I hope you find the right place to move to.

The advice here has been to spend a bit of time planning and making sure you try it out first (maybe rent a holiday home for a month and see how you get on).

No wonder you have zero idea how easy French is to learn as a FL as it turns out you never have!

French is definitely a regular language, I couldn’t believe the regularity of verbs and tenses when I started. And despite your claim, the pronunciation is clear from the spelling - there aren’t a huge number of words that are hard to figure out. Compared to English: eg bough cough tough though through Marlborough. The regularity of French is one of the things that make the poetry so different from English.

On the absurdities of English spelling

Never said climate change wasn’t an issue - but for the moment temperatures in Italy are in line with existing records. The highest recorded temperature in Sicily in 2021 is only 0.8 degrees higher than the previous record. And of all record temperatures, the majority are not that recent. Only 3/60 are in the last 10 years:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_extreme_temperatures_in_Italy

LlynTegid · 30/03/2023 20:53

It was my intention to move to the south of France when I retire. I'd got to the point of having a mental shortlist of places to consider, had researched various things I needed to know. My French is enough to watch French language films without subtitles, have guided tours and no doubt would improve with living there and perhaps some course.

Then came Brexit. My money would not go as far, and neither would there be reciprocal health treatment.

So I have abandoned the idea.

User534 · 30/03/2023 20:53

coldmarchmorn · 30/03/2023 13:57

Lots is not most. Lots of us do have EU passports. There was a huge surge in applications about 8 or so years ago, which has continued since. I wonder why....?

Show quote history

"Lots of us" suggests to me 20 percent + of the population. Whatever the true number is, it's not that high.
I'm not sure you're right about more and more people having EU passports. This is from government figures for 2020 (latest available): "Our best estimates show that while non-UK born and non-British populations remained broadly stable in 2020, the number of people living in the UK with EU nationality fell."

neilyoungismyhero · 30/03/2023 21:02

We did for nearly 10 years and the best thing we did in that time was come home to the UK. I missed my children and grandchildren. I missed the English 'attitude' and courtesy and way of life in general. I couldn't find any work although I spoke the language a little. The burocracy abroad was a complete nightmare for us. I think maybe if we had had more money it would have been slightly easier but the other downsides still remained. It's not for every one and it wasn't for us. We have friends who live there still and wouldn't dream of leaving. The best option I think is to rent for a year or two and try before you buy.

Oriunda · 31/03/2023 02:08

coldmarchmorn · 29/03/2023 10:25

Well you can, as the spouse of an EU citizen you have the right to go with them to any EU country and to work there without a visa. Not without them, but if you go together and stay married, you have many of the same rights as he has.

Show quote history

Not technically true, at least in France. I moved there as a spouse of an EU national. Took me months of paperwork, and 3 visits to the police station, expensive translations etc before I received my residency and health insurance. Before that, I had no right to work. I was effectively sponsored by my husband.

Greenfairydust · 31/03/2023 08:16

@Mirabai

Keep digging.

Your comments are getting tedious and are of no help whatsoever to the OP.

coldmarchmorn · 31/03/2023 10:02

Oriunda · 31/03/2023 02:08

Show quote history

France make it difficult, but the rights are the same EU wide. You're entitled to live and work anywhere the EU spouse is.

Mirabai · 31/03/2023 13:03

@Greenfairydust Dream on. You talked shit and got called, it’s fine.

Mirabai · 31/03/2023 13:08

Don’t give up the dream OP, research and make it happen.

My parents bought a place in the med aged 60 and lived there until they were 80. They had 20 years of good life in the sunshine and I think it paid dividends for their health.

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