As a parent of a so-called "high functioning, fine at school" 6yo trying desperately to get support for our dd who has been school refusing since Feb half term, this makes me so angry, sad and frustrated.
We had our EHCP needs assessment turned down on Thursday last week. Despite clear evidence of masking, in girls in particular, the LA insist on insinuating it's the parents' fault by pointing out inconsistencies between home and school behaviours and using that as the reasoning behind turning down our application.
We'd been warned that the default position for most LAs is to reject an EHCPNA, saying that 98% of SEN children's needs can be met within existing SEN funding envelopes. It's clear to every parent living through this, that without an EHCP many schools cannot adequately meet children's needs.
We've jumped through hoops, done all the parent led behavioural modification stuff, have a 12yo son who is thriving and liked by everyone. Dd has high levels of school based anxiety and sensory processing issues. Her whole day at school is spent keeping in all her worries, to the point where she simply breaks down and avoids clothing altogether. But she's 'meeting expectations', or at least was before she started refusing to go to school.
We've spent 3 months trying to get the final piece of evidence we need for a neurodevelopmental assessment via CAMHS. And then there's a two year wait. No assessment, no EHCP in the meantime, one of us facing the prospect of having to give up work. It's the shittiest of shit situations - and many people have it even worse than us. At least our dd sleeps well, so we get a break then. Loads of parents don't have the time, the remaining energy, the knowledge or the skills to navigate such a complex myriad of pathways, professional services, regulations and rights. The system is desperately broken, fundamentally flawed. We have a last resort of paying to go private. Most don't even have that option. It's an absolute shambles and a disgrace.