Staying up late

[LDA123]

ExH has kids EOW only. They got back today (an hour late) and DD10 seems very tired and on edge.

Apparently up to midnight playing computer games last night.

AIBU - He only sees them every other weekend, it’s ok to stay up late playing video games with him every 2 weeks.

YANBU - Sleep is important and should get to bed at a decent time.

Staying 'up late' is one thing, until midnight at 10 is completely unnecessary (unless at an event etc).

But if this is the worst thing he does, I'd only say something if you think it'll do more good than harm.

one midnight every two weeks is annoying but not the end if the world. Annoying because you get the grumpy kid back & have to get her to bed at a decent time to compensate. 🙇🏻‍♀️

Staying up a bit late at the weekend is one thing. Staying up until midnight playing games on a regular basis is a complete abdication of parenting.

Say to him that if he wants to play games with them, he can do it in the morning over breakfast. And they need to be asleep in bed by 10pm latest.

There is rarely a good reason for a 10 year old to stay up until midnight so YANBU

BUT

I feel that by 10 that your dd has a role to pay in what time she goes to bed. I believe that you should be able to say to her 9pm latest, maybe phone her then to remind her and say good night, and then you can send her to bed despite her being at your exHs house.

To be fair I think even my current husband and kids dad would have difficulty convincing my kids to go to bed without my laying down the law.

I think if my DD is allowed to stay up to midnight playing Minecraft with her Dad, there is absolutely no way she would self regulate to decide it’s too late and go to bed. Unfortunately ☹️. He wouldn’t listen to a word I said if I texted to ask her to go to bed either.

It’s probably part of the issue - when we were together I always tried to maintain decent bedtimes. He thinks that he can do what he wants now (obviously he can) as we’re not together any more. Nobody telling the kids it’s bedtime. I guess in the past, it was always me that got them off to bed. Mainly because I think sleep is important and it definitely impacts moods the next day.