How do people cope?

27 replies

jennyfromtheshop · 26/03/2023 18:49

I don't think I've ever felt so burnt out in my life. I have a nearly one year old who is such hard work. I mean she probably isn't even that bad compared to some. She usually sleeps ok but she's been unwell a lot lately and I haven't slept properly in weeks. I haven't slept through a full night since she was born as she still wakes for a feed even when she's well.

I'm constantly up through the night with her at the moment. Then she gets up and I spend the day chasing her around or trying to keep her busy. Sometimes I go to Asda just so I can confine her to a trolley for a bit. Her naps are all over the place. So is her eating. Everyday I feel like I'm drowning in housework. I never get any time to myself to just relax. When I put her to bed in the evening I might get an hour before she starts fussing and that's it. I've put on 2 stone and look like shit because I don't have the time or energy to look after myself anymore.

My dh is good but he works long hours and I have no family help. Sometimes I would just love a night away in a hotel to myself just so I could just sleep. Because I've been the main carer for so long dd doesn't settle well for dh. And she's been so unwell lately I don't feel like I can leave her anyway.

I'm just utterly fucked to be honest. Life feels frantic, chaotic and mundane all at the same. I can't remember when dh and I last had any quality time together. I know it will get easier as she gets older but right now it feels like everyday is a battle. Is anyone else in the same boat? How do you get through the days?

OP posts:

Original poster

jennyfromtheshop · 27/03/2023 10:56

sjxoxo · 27/03/2023 05:56

It is v v hard.
here’s what I would do:

get rid of that night feed - why is she waking? Is she actually hungry? Can you give baby rice in her last bottle to help get her through? I would do whatever I had to to get rid of the night wake ups as that would destroy me..

get her back into a daytime routine asap so you have a small break and things are more manageable.

then get your DH to do more- he can and he should! She will adapt to him the more he is involved. tell him you can’t carry on as you are and now she’s older he can deffo help, can he take her out Saturday afternoon etc so you’ve got a block to yourself.

good luck!! You’re not alone. Do what you have to to survive… but the repeat night waking will be torture and even sorting that will help you x1000!! Xxxxx

I'm sure that she needs the feed. I mean she has it but probably doesn't need it. But she does wake up around the same time every night and it seems like she associates the bottle and a nappy change with then going back to sleep again. I can handle it when it's just this one wake up but lately it's been numerous because she's been unwell and it's taken it her much longer to settle back to sleep too.

Last night was a bit better. Lots of wake ups and grizzles before I went to be bed but once I fell asleep she only woke once and then did manage to settle a little quicker than she has been doing. Hopefully that means she's getting better.

I think it's just the difficulty of filling the days sometimes. I know it won't last forever but it's bloody hard at the moment.

OP posts:

LBB2020 · 27/03/2023 11:32

@jennyfromtheshop I feel exactly the same!
l have a 2 year old and a 5 year old and feel like a shell of my old self! I put on a load of weight last year that I can’t get back off and I feel so down about myself (and my life to be honest!). No advice but just know you’re not alone

Flip

1 2