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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Would this bother you? (Regarding newish man)

24 replies

Skyskysky09 · 26/03/2023 15:33

I have been seeing him for 7 months and I have noticed past comments and photo reactions he has put on a mutual social media "friends" photograph. This did not bother me as it was before we had met and I did notice that it had stopped.

However I have just noticed that he has reacted with a love heart on her profile photo that she has put up. Half of me feels silly and a part of me feels a bit off about this or maybe jealous and pissed of with him. Am I being silly?
Wwyd? If anything. Or how would you feel?

OP posts:

ManipulatorPedipulator · 26/03/2023 15:34

You’re being ridiculous

Cakeykid · 26/03/2023 15:35

Kindly, it seems OTT to be analysing his social media like this - have you had issues with self esteem?

Villssev · 26/03/2023 15:36

You mention nothing about the relationship itself

Newusernameaug · 26/03/2023 15:37

Love hearting someone’s profile pic is very big standard, male, female, relatives, colleagues etc.

If they were making comments that might be different

BrainOnFire · 26/03/2023 15:38

This honestly wouldn't bother me.

SummerLover01 · 26/03/2023 15:39

Total non event.

Original poster

Skyskysky09 · 26/03/2023 15:55

Thank you. It seems I must be over reacting. I'm not sure why I feel this way, (something I will have to do a little digging to try find the reason why).
Maybe I'm just not confident in our relationship together. I can't seem to think what else it could be if it would not bother anyone else.

OP posts:

Original poster

Skyskysky09 · 26/03/2023 15:56

Just to add that he has reacted with a heart on other women's photos and it hasn't bothered me. I think it is because I think he is attracted to her.

OP posts:

Deathbyfluffy · 26/03/2023 15:58

Skyskysky09 · 26/03/2023 15:56

Just to add that he has reacted with a heart on other women's photos and it hasn't bothered me. I think it is because I think he is attracted to her.

Ask him if he is, but don’t dig too much or you’ll come across as possessive.
Its probably perfectly innocent, I’m a married man and have several female friends that are close enough for me to ‘heart’ their pictures - it just means that I think it’s a nice picture, not that I’m picking up the car keys to go and throw them one.

MrsDoylesDoily · 26/03/2023 16:00

Why have you crossed out the word jealous, when it's the actual problem here?

Hotvimto3 · 26/03/2023 16:00

I wouldnt like it tbh

Indoorcatmum · 26/03/2023 16:01

It wouldn't bother me in a serious way... But I would be a little niggle and make me keep an eye out for anything else between them.

Just a thing in the back of my head.

The most telling thing for me, is that he stopped doing it when you were in your honeymoon phase and has now picked it back up.

If he had been doing it all along then I wouldn't raise an eyebrow.

DisappearingGirl · 26/03/2023 16:02

I don't think of myself as a jealous person at all, but I wouldn't particularly like it if my partner was adding the heart reaction on other women's profile pictures!

Harriyet · 26/03/2023 17:12

Surely it's no different to if you put a heart reaction on a pic? Way OTT reaction.

Pseudonamed · 26/03/2023 17:25

I will ask a different question and ask are you sure the pic is new? I mean could it be an old one she rehashed and put up and he previously had put a heart up there? Not dismissing that it is not a great thing to do is forensics on his socials but just a thought.

Agapornis · 26/03/2023 19:51

My reaction would vary hugely depending on context. Is the heart just an Instagram or Facebook like? Or is it 😍🤤 style emojis? How does he respond to your own social media posts? What is the photo of - her in a bikini or more modestly dressed? Has he told you he's attracted to her, or did you find out another way?

JudgeRudy · 26/03/2023 19:58

When I started reading this I was waiting to see what these previous comments were, imagining stuff like 'Hey sexy lady 'or maybe 'piss off back to your own country'.....but you're taking about a ❤️ against a pic. No laddish comments, just a friend who's updated her profile with a pic where she probably looks attractive.....is that it?

Original poster

Skyskysky09 · 26/03/2023 20:00

Yes it was a new picture that she put on that day.

It was a Facebook heart reaction not an emoji. She was modestly dressed. No he hasn't done it on mine. He has put a thumb 👍 up one :/. May be I'm over thinking it.

OP posts:

Nopinnogin · 26/03/2023 20:00

I work with lots of under 30’s and they put hearts on everything!!!!!

The sun is out today ❤️

etc.

It’s like putting an x at the end of your sentences to show you like them.

mackthepony · 26/03/2023 20:01

Is she good looking?

MarchMadness23 · 26/03/2023 20:04

@Skyskysky09 it doesn't matter what the 'cool girls' think. If it bothers you, tell him. With his male friends does he put hearts on the photos? If not, why can't he 'like' her photo the same way he 'likes' theirs?

Cosyblankets · 26/03/2023 20:09

How much are you analysing his profile that you noticed?

Mangogogogo · 26/03/2023 20:13

MarchMadness23 · 26/03/2023 20:04

Why you trying to drag down women who aren’t bothered by this? Some are, some aren’t. Sorry that you think those that aren’t are cooler than you but shit, stop pulling women down!

op it is probably nothing but there’s nothing bad about talking about your feelings!

Rainbowmama2023 · 26/03/2023 20:15

Part of me thinks that you are most likely overreacting and overthinking this too much but part of me also thinks if it’s bothering you then you should talk to him about it. At the end of the day we all have our own boundaries and if you would rather him not love heart other woman’s photos because it makes you uncomfortable then I would tell him.

I don’t really think the past comments matter because it was before you two started a relationship, but were the comments overly flirty? Is there a reason you feel jealous about this other woman? Insecurities probably do play a part in this but at the same time if he was writing overly flirty messages to her and is liking her photos still now then I can understand your feelings.

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