Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Trip with a friend -AIBU accomodation question

59 replies

Mitsouko67 · 26/03/2023 14:40

First AIBU, please go easy!

So DFriend and I are going on a short trip.
I have found a really lovely homestay option but she likes her own room when travelling.

If DF doesnt want to stay in homestay AIBU to stay there anyway and let her source her own accomodation?

The alternative is we go back to the drawing board and look for apartment or guesthouse together.Homestay is free whereas other accomodation likely to be pricey.

IABU - I need to suck it up and forgo homestay option so we can stay together on trip.

IANBU- I can opt for homestay which works for me and leave her to make her own accom arrangements.

I have been in correspondence with the homestay host who seems delightful.

AIBU?

OP posts:
rookiemere · 26/03/2023 15:27

I'm sorry OP, but I do think you messed up on this one.

You booked tickets before checking if accommodation you could afford was available and assumed your friend would be happy sharing in a homestay.

Any Premier Inns nearby? They don't show up on Booking.com, or is there an option to reduce number of nights.

AlisonDonut · 26/03/2023 15:28

Mitsouko67 · 26/03/2023 15:27

Homestay is a bit like home exchange but the host hosts guests while they are at home.

Tend to be middle aged people with their own homes who like to travel frequently and can't afford to pay for accomodation every time.

It's an exchange based on hospitality and goodwill.

I don't understand, do you pay for this or give them access to your house in return?

illiterato · 26/03/2023 15:29

AlisonDonut · 26/03/2023 15:28

I don't understand, do you pay for this or give them access to your house in return?

Show quote history

It's more of a "pay it forward" principle.

PotteringAlonggotkickedoutandhadtoreregister · 26/03/2023 15:30

€500 each for 3 nights is a good deal. I would take that.

I would not be staying in a strangers home with them for all the tea in china. It seems a bit like it’s asking for trouble!

Nanny0gg · 26/03/2023 15:32

So you stay in someone's home while they're there then do the same for them at some point in the future?

So like an exchange B&B?

Train007 · 26/03/2023 15:33

No I definitely would want my own room and not staying with strangers!

Nanny0gg · 26/03/2023 15:33

Have you looked to see if there are any Booking.com or other offers out there?

JudgeRudy · 26/03/2023 15:34

Aquamarine1029 · 26/03/2023 14:58

Don't you think you should have told your friend from the very beginning that you wanted to use a homestay before you even started planning? All of this could have been avoided.

Totally agree. You say you've done all the planning but didn't consider accomodation which is the only bit really that needs discussing and planning. The rest of the trip id imagine is self explanatory, so buy tickets for the event and travel.
It's very presumptuous to think someone would be happy to share. Most wouldn't. I also think it's really odd to go to an event (festival?) and stay in different places. Tbh that might make me think 'Oh ill leave it'. Id want to be together. I also wouldnt expect to pay for a room to myself likely doubling the already expensive cost. Could you resell her ticket or would you be prepared to pay for standard accommodation, or even pass both tickets to her?

QueSyrahSyrah · 26/03/2023 15:35

Hell would freeze over before I'd homestay so I'm with your friend.

My preference would be my own room too, but failing that or to keep costs down I would consider sharing a hotel room with a friend.

Maybe look at both 2 bedroom or 1 bedroom options and weigh them up together?

itsthefinalcountdown1 · 26/03/2023 15:36

You were unreasonable to assume your friend would want to sleep in a strangers house for free. Obviously.

SnarkyBag · 26/03/2023 15:39

But crap to start planning and buying tickets and then drop the idea of a home stay on your friend. Sounds like you knew that would be what you might look for so you should have discussed it sooner. Home stay would a no from me and I’d happily pay for my own hotel but be annoyed that the person I was planning a weekend away with is going to stay somewhere different.

Aprilx · 26/03/2023 15:40

You do not arrange a trip away with a friend and then book different accommodation! How rude (and weird) that you are even thinking of this. Never heard of homestay but that also sounds weird.

You should have discussed accommodation and priced up the whole accommodation / tickets trip cost before buying part of it! Good grief have you never organised a trip before.

Cosyblankets · 26/03/2023 15:46

Share a room in a complete strangers house while they are also staying there? It would certainly not be for me. I'd rather have the most budget hotel than do that. If it was my only option I would not stay

Hollyhocksandlarkspur · 26/03/2023 15:47

Love the idea of homestay and sharing hospitality to enable more travel. But if I were your friend I would not be happy to be told these details after I had agreed to go away with you. I prefer to know up fri t what I am agreeing to. Definitely stay together otherwise seems so unfriendly.

Hollyhocksandlarkspur · 26/03/2023 15:47

Up front

JudgeRudy · 26/03/2023 15:49

I can't get my head round this homestay thing. Have I got this right....someone who has spare room in their home invites a complete stranger to stay (in your case for 3 nights), supplies heating, lighting, presumably access to a bathroom, clean bedding etc for 'goodwill '? That would be worse than B&B. I can just imagine the host hovering around and asking 'how did your day go ladies, what's your plans for tomorrow, what time will you be back tonight..." i would hate that, having to mke pleasant conversation or ask is it ok if i take a shower. One night maybe for a business trip if I was desperate.

ThinWomansBrain · 26/03/2023 15:55

in your friend's place I'd have booked my hotel and be arranging to meet you at the event venue.

Snoken · 26/03/2023 16:03

Yes, yabu. I can’t think of anyone I know that would be up for that type of accommodation. Also, does it also mean that your friend has to reciprocate too? Ie having this person come and stay with her as well? What if you really don’t get along with the host or find them creepy? You still have to host them in your home.

Original poster
Mitsouko67 · 26/03/2023 16:15

Ok ok I get it!

I'll let you know how things work out.

OP posts:
IkeNoNo · 26/03/2023 16:31

I would be horrified at the suggestion of staying in a strangers home.

I'd happily pay £500 to avoid it. I'd honestly rather not go at all than stay in a room in someone's house while they're there.

highintheskypurple · 26/03/2023 16:32

is it like that movie with Kate Winslet and Cameron Diaz?

IkeNoNo · 26/03/2023 16:33

Is there no premiere inn/travelodge/ibis type thing in this location?

Treeabovethefire · 26/03/2023 16:37

I don’t see the point of going away together if you’re going to be staying in separate accommodation

LondonPretty · 26/03/2023 16:39

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

NorthernDrizzle · 26/03/2023 16:44

highintheskypurple · 26/03/2023 16:32

is it like that movie with Kate Winslet and Cameron Diaz?

Yes but hopefully you dont have to shag sleazy Jude Law

Swipe left for the next trending thread