To want to move south?

[Oohlalaaaaaa]

Currently live in Central Scotland. My partner is from Dorset. We have primary school aged children with one due to start high school this year. I think we would enjoy a better quality of life down there.
I'm a bit worried my kids would be picked on and not accepted for having scottish accents or for being outsiders. Is this silly? 🤔
Also is it cruel to uproot 3 perfectly happy children, especially one at age 12 (she has strong friendships, the other 2 not so much)? Am I being selfish? I'm scared that if it goes wrong for them it will be my doing. Any advice would be appreciated.

You might get a similar number of comments, the difference is that it's far more common for Scottish to comment negatively on English accents and for English to comment positively on Scottish accents. Lots of call centres set up in Scotland because of the accent preference. I'm really surprised your DH reports never having any negative comments, that's hugely unusual for any part of Scotland, have you actually asked him?

The main difficulty you'll have is that property is so much more expensive in England, especially in Dorset. You'll need to check carefully that you can afford the move.

You have a very negative outlook, I live near Falkirk and there is an abundance of lovely outdoor space for running, cycling, walking etc, if you're central you're not far to Edinburgh, Glasgow, Stirling, drive in any direction and you'll find somewhere for a lovely Sunday Lunch in any number of small town/villages.
Very short sighted 🤷🏼‍♀️

It really isn’t unusual. Lived in Scotland, know plenty of English people here. Absolutely zero issues re:English accent in Scotland

I was moved away at start of secondary school and although I made friends I felt I had lost a lot. So with my kids I wanted then to have a sense of ongoing community and friendships that I did not feel I had.
My 13 year olds would be devastated to move, I couldn't do it. And I love that they value their friendships so much.
But discuss with your kids- maybe they feel differently and would love the adventure!

Soft YABU

Looking at your posts and I would say you need to do more research. I moved to the semi rural southwest (Devon), and regularly visit Dorset. It was a culture shock. And my daughter's northern English accent was picked on the the first six months, as the children down here couldn't understand her and used to accuse her of speaking Spanish.

Anyway I've done a pros and cons list for you.

Some things are better -
-We spend more time outside

• we utilise a lot more independent businesses.

• We "do" more because there are lots of outdoorsy things to do here.

-The general pace of life is slower than in a big city.

• It's a lot easier to access locally grown food if that's important to you. For example, fruit I buy from the green grocer is grown two miles down the road.

• If you're willing to put the work in and "get in" with the locals when you live in a small town, they're lovely and helpful.

• It's very community orientated. We have a lot of local things on, concerts, bingos, little festivals. And most towns do so you're never short of things to visit and experience.

However, on the flip side:

• Small market towns are great. Until you live in one. They're very "closed" communities. They can be very cliquey as everyone knows everyone and lots of families are linked by marriage and have been there generations. It definitely takes longer to make friends in a small town than a city, if you come from further afield. And drama is rife

• Working in the same small town you live in is just not a fun experience.

• There's a lack of diversity in a lot of places. I struggled with this a lot as I'm not white.

• Public transport, especially busses are a pain. Irregular, unreliable and often a lot of places just aren't accessible by bus or train.

• Drug use and homelessness are just as prevelant. In fact I'd say they're worse at councils just don't have the cash to deal with them.

• The cost of living is insanely expensive

• Education isn't necessarily better. As with everywhere It depends on the school.

But if your child needs extra support it's a huge battle due to inadequate councils who are also strapped for cash. The southwest has some of the worst loc authorities in the country.

• Also, dependent on where you live, if you don't like or get into the catchment secondary, that could mean your child needs to get a bus for 5-10 miles to the next nearest school.

So yes. It's swings and roundabouts.

Please ignore the horrific formatting of my last comment. I have no idea what happened!

Definitely don't want to live in a village 😕 where everyone knows everyone and there is a village facebook lol. Costs us a fortune to live where we live right now so it's a sideways move aside from stamp duty.
It's obviously not just for roasts ha!
Don't think it's selfish to want more time outdoors in countryside/coast with family.

We're moving a bit more north (Yorkshire) for similar reasons to you, though not the coast (because climate change).

Horses for courses, OP. You only get one life, and if you're unhappy, make a change.

Do some schools research. Bournemouth and poole over subscribed generally so not sure about in-year admissions.

i am a Bournemouth gal and it’s lovely here. Every town has its issues so to say it’s run down is unkind to the area.

ringwood and wimborne nice but you will become a taxi in teen years. Bournemouth poole and Christchurch have great bus service. Anywhere ‘west’ will involve again you being a taxi

Thanks for all the responses.

We lived in Poole until last year, Need to choose specific area for schools.
Difficult to get to the nice beaches Christchurch and west to Devon. Popular ones litter, wind shelters and dogs.
You might be planning on visiting London more, check costs of trains and journey times. B'mouth Poole takes an age and is expensive and you arrive in Waterloo!
Have you looked at Kent? We seriously considered Medway towns. Folkestone and the area is getting recommends as "up and coming". It used to be awful.
That corner also gives easy access to France.

We have family who live nr Bournemouth, do would definitely not want to be more than 30 mins from there.

Don't think it's selfish to want more time outdoors in countryside/coast with family.
As I said before these comments are odd from someone living in the central belt, you're surrounded by the outdoors and either coast is a short drive away.

I grew up in Bournemouth - it was a great place to be a teenager back in the 1960s/70s and a great town. But the centre of Bournemouth has got run down with most of the big department stores empty, though I think there is still plenty of nightlife.

There are quite a lot of homeless and drug addicts, especially in Boscombe - more pleasant to be homeless on the South Coast than further north!

Public transport anywhere west of Bournemouth/Poole is very poor; it wasn't fun having to fetch our teenage daughter from Poole in the wee small hours of the morning after a night clubbing :)

I agree with other posters, if you can't get to the countryside from wherever you are in the central belt, you're not trying very hard.
You sound like you are romanticising life down there. I wouldn't move, but then I wouldn't want to live in England for anything!

@Oohlalaaaaaa - one of the best schools in England is the Thomas Hardye school in Dorchester (the county town - which is just 7 miles from the coast).

Having lived in many parts of England i can assure you there is plenty of what some would say is unkind behaviour towards Scots, i have been called haggis muncher, sweaty sock and even told that i should go back to where i came from by a professional. As a Scot i don't dislike English people at all. As for the op why take your children there? It is so expensive, they will struggle to fund there own place to live once they are old enough, why do that to them ?

Really? Plenty of teens seem to do just fine here and barely any go to Scottish unis.

It really isn't one of the best schools in England. It's a nice school though.

This.

Bournemouth isn't Dorset 😉 I mean it technically is but it used to be Hampshire

Can you stay for an extended period when the weather is poor, due to see if the grass is greener? I daydream about the south west but university and further study worries me. As do job prospects. I only go there in nice weather to see friends so I think I have a rose tinted view of it all tbh.

@Stugs think its pretty obvious I meant that it's better to stay in Scotland as then the DC will get funded places at uni. Not that Dorset kids go to uni in Scotland, that makes no sense.

Also it's very different growing up in Dorset and having a network there as a teen, to being moved there as a teen. Lovely place, as I say, but not easy to get around and with the bucolic country pub life OP is talking about, it doesn't sound like she'd go to a city so while yes many kids in Dorset are fine, it's not the best move for her teens if she's factoring that in to the pro's and cons.

University fees (ie not having to pay them!) would make staying in Scotland appealing. Though of course anything can change. Surely there are lovely coastal bits of Scotland to rule out first?

Where exactly in central Scotland are you? Because I’m in central central Scotland and I don’t foresee you being more than an hour from the coast? I can get to either the west or east coast within an hour? Down South might be physically closer but in my experience traffic is far worse.

Education is absolutely not better in England either. Plus your kids would need to pay to go to uni down south, whereas we have no tuition fees, so you are potentially saddling your children with tens of thousands of pounds of debt.

It sounds to me like you have an ideal life and somehow you think moving will help you achieve that - a case of the grass being greener on the other side.