Newborn not fussed about Mum

[Independentbaby]

I have a one month old baby. I had a difficult birth and didn’t meet him for hours after he was born and except cuddles, couldn’t do much caregiving for the first week.

Everyone I know that has had babies (plus lots of MN posts) babies are obsessed with their mums, like to sleep on mum, hate being put down etc.

I feel like my baby is happy with anyone, he will happily sleep in his cot during the day and at night and I think prefers my husband.

Is this normal? I’m worried the first hours / week of his life has effected our bonding. I love him so much and I really want him to love me too and see me as his safe person.

Normal for a newborn, the Mummy obsession is more like 6-18 months, IME.

The survival instinct is strong in a newborn, and they'll settle with just about anyone.
Just you wait, clinginess will come
Congratulations, OP. Please take your time to heal without worrying about any of this. I PROMISE you it will be ok

My first was like this and I did everything for her, breastfed her, always did bath and bedtime and she never became clingy. Only ever slept on me when she was ill, happily slept in her cot, hated cosleeping but slept really well on her own. She's 30 now and we are really close, go on holiday together, she pops round for a cuppa a few times a week definitely a close bond.

I think if he’d had a traumatic start and it had affected him he’d be likely to be more clingy, so I think the facts he’s quite happy with anyone is probably just down to his personality. I have three, the eldest and youngest definitely favoured me in the early months and would only really settle with me, but my middle son was so different, happy with me but just as happy with anyone, including people he’d just met. I had similar straightforward births with all three. I think they’re all just different, I wouldn’t worry too much OP. Enjoy your gorgeous 1 month old!

My son would never settle for me as a newborn, only others. Now he’s the clingiest mummy’s boy toddler I know, his dad doesn’t get a look in! Enjoy the fact he’s happy to be with others and in his cot, it gives you much needed breathing space. And remember all babies are different

I think you’re reading far too much in to it. Just keep up the cuddles and talking to him and telling him you love him. Please don’t worry. But talk to your health visitor if your mood is getting you down.

My DD was like this. Actively disliked being cuddled. Didn't care who fed her. The best thing to do when she was newborn was just put her down and she settled.

Roll on a year and she's my little shadow. She's fine with daddy if I'm at work but if I'm around only mummy will do. I regularly get glued to the sofa because she'll only sleep on me

Give it time. And be careful what you wish for!

Baby boys particularly love their mums, he'll get more & more attached to you as he gets older. You're really lucky that he's so settled and happy in his cot, with others, that shows how safe he feels. Come back when he's crawling after you when you're trying to have a quick wee.

The attachment will grow as he gets older and more aware. Mine were all happy with anyone as newborns and very attached to me as they got older. They're really close to their dad as well as he's always been very hands on.

They're so tiny just now they are comforted by human touch, smell, voices, milk, and not much else. Enjoy the tiny baby snuggles. I miss them so much!

Congratulations 🥰

How lovely for a baby to be so secure that he’ll settle with anyone!

This!

And what a lovely comment.

Neither of mine could have caredless who cuddled them as newborns. Dd was three or four ds was about two before they cared if I was around. Both in their teens now and that Velcro has just got stronger and stronger, I'm really hoping preying it starts fraying in time for university.

All a newborn needs is warmth, cuddles and food. It doesn't care who gives it. It's some kind of myth. But a few months om, thats when mum's come into their own!

When my child was a,baby they were happy (when not crying I mean) and would happily go to anyone, I took that as a great thing

I really don't get this obsession where parents can't be put of the room without their baby let alone the baby being left with other people without the world ending

Surely it is a good thing?

Aww I'm so sorry you feel like this
But
New borns are happy anywhere that's warm and comfy to they are good with anyone
They sleep anywhere
Give that little baby a few weeks or months and I promise you'll be wishing for these days
My 2nd used to go to anyone and sleep anywhere I put her down but within a few months she became attached and recognises your smell and the way you rock
You will be fine I promise

Congratulations. You have a happy, contented baby.

I think your baby is still at the age where she doesn't realise that you are separate from her. She thinks you are the same person! Please try not to worry. If you do feel depressed in any way don't wait too long and speak to the health visitor or your GP. 💐

I don't know why I misgendered your child! I'm sorry!