To think I really am a bad mother?

[inthedarkx]

So a couple of weeks ago my kids caught nits off their sibling ( dads child with new woman) he said he put lotion on my 3 year olds hair coz it appears she caught it off said child. I thought ok that's fine at least he treated her. I then washed it off next day and brushed through with conditioner ( couldn't do same night as he brought her back at 10:30pm as he won't have kids over night, he only wants them a couple hours on one day of the weekend) so I did that and thought nothing of it.

I didn't see he itching or see any visable bits on her hair even after having several baths washing hair and brushing !! My kids have Afro hair so it's mega hard!

Anyway today during contact he found bits in her hair, and proceeded to text me calling me ' a lazy skanky lazy bitch' a 'skank' and a 'waste of space'

He's drained me emotionally today...

I would never knowingly leave her with bits, I just hadn't noticed any!

Did i deserve this mental battering from him?

He never has kids during the week, I do every school run, every tea time, every bath time, every bedtime. And it's hard as a single mum to 6 kids

I also got called a scrounger by his wife coz I asked him for a bit more help with kids stuff ( he pays £150 a month for 6 kids as a gas engineer) he called me a last ass bitch and a gold diggger

Feel like shit...

Maybe I deserve it ......

Nits **

He's a cunt

Nah, you're good, tell him to fuck off, £150 for 6 children, wow, what a provider.

He's an actual cunt.

And he's met someone who reflects his vibe.

I know it's so hard but try to focus on the fact you don't have to share your home and life with this awful man any more.

They sound horrible, you sound perfectly normal!

No, ignore him he's an idiot!

Don’t listen to a word he says, he sounds like an absolute loser and shit dad.

Don't give his opinion of you the time of day. Or the wife's opinion. Get her blocked for a start.

I'd probably have to tell him that the opinion of such a useless human being such as him means less than fuck all to me. But you can do better and just completely ignore him.

Have you gone through CMS for maintenance? Please do.

In years to come, if they don't already realise, your kids will know who actually parented and prioritised them. I know it's hard now, but hold on to that.

The dreaded nits hit my household. I treated my daughter and provided everything to treat again when she had contact with her dad two days later. Apparently it wasn’t his job& I should do it myself and he wasn’t doing it. So I took the stuff home with me.

Well the shiney new mum he had for her that weekend caught them & he had the audacity to ask for the treatment 😂

Some men are just like that, they become so bitter against you. Rise above it every time, don’t show him you care.

It’s really tough as a single mum and a lot of us will understand what your going through, stay strong ❤️

Getting rid of nits fully generally takes a few treatments, and without treatments its daily combing for hours. They are hard to get rid of. So no, not your fault at all! My ex reported to me to social services because my DD had nits, they laughed him out the building, it's part of childhood nowadays and in no way makes you a bad mother.

He's the bad father bringing children home that time of night though! Was that just a one off?

Has he always had the power to make you feel awful and doubt yourself?

Without him, you are building a far nicer life for yourself and your children, they will see through his behaviour as they get older.

YANBU OP he sounds absolutely vile. This is nothing to do with the nits, it's just an excuse to abuse you and make you feel like a shit mum.

My kids are always getting nits (long hair) and the treatments just don't work sometimes. And also, unless everyone at school/ nursery has been treated as well, they'll get them again the very next day. I use a nitty gritty comb - they're great for checking and removing random ones you can't see just by looking through their hair.

Stay strong OP

Hedrin Once for the nits.

A solid 'fuck off' for the ex.

Don’t communicate with him like this anymore. It’s disgusting for him to treat you that way. I’d ask for all communication via and email address checked once per week or an emergency phone call only if something is urgent (and id have a separate phone for this that is off when the kids are with you).

What a cretin!!!

@Yumbojumbo why did you resurrect this thread? Presumably OP has sorted the nits out it was three months ago!

I think you should set up a communication means for essential communication only - one of the apps or a specific email.... And gave no forget non recorded communication.

Block him from contacting you by other means.

Can other relatives do hand overs?

This is some high level abuse yours suffering.

I don't think you should take it any further without involving SS or the police. Maybe get WA advice or legal advice.

Ps the good news is that this thing is no longer your partner, congratulations

"*have no further non recorded communication

I know this thread is old. However if you come back to it OP, I have kids with afro hair and have had to leave nit treatment in their hair overnight (not recommended on box) in order for it to have effect.
Your ex is a twat, so is mine, solidarity!