To feel ashamed, embarrassed and not know how to fix this?

[Avatarthewayofwater]

I've taken the image from Google as I'm far to embarrassed to take a picture of myself.

Any weight I gain goes on my stomach and due to emotional binge eating I find myself here.

I did have ultrasound scans to check nothing underlying was going on, but no its visceral fat and only I can get rid if it.

The problem is I've changed my diet completely and calorie counting and eating healthy along with exercise. Yet nothing has changed stomach wise.

I'm so self conscious and I can't wear normal clothes because I constantly look pregnant.

Even at the gym I hide in a big hoodie so no one can see.

It's making me depressed and I don't know how to get rid of the stomach fat.

Has anyone else been like this and managed? I had a c section years ago and have an underactive thyroid if that makes any difference.

Please be kind...

@Avatarthewayofwater - I completely agree this thread is totally overwhelming with so much conflicting advice. I think one thing it shows though is that no one weight loss method will work for everyone as we are all different. Cutting out all the unhealthy takeaways and sugary snacks is a great first step. That’s huge as continuing to eat those will have a big impact on your health and your energy levels.

Have you got My Fitness Pal? It’s free although there is a paid premium version but you don’t really need that. Just try logging your food intake on there for a while. It tracks calories obviously but also protein, carbohydrates and fat. Keeping an eye on that might help you figure out what actually works for you. For instance if you have a higher carb meal do you feel hungrier later or not? Do you feel tired? Is protein helping keep you fuller? Etc.

I think the main thing is not to try anything drastic. You have to be able to keep it going.

Respectfully most of the replies in this thread are absolute tosh. A load of folk waffling about a subject matter they know nothing about.

Unfortunately genetics dictate how our bodies store fat, some people store it in their abdomen, others around the butt, legs etc.

If you've birthed children you could have separated stomach muscles which won't help with the bloated appearance, the only way to correct that is surgery.

Your calorie intake at 1200 a day should be ok, but it would be worthwhile calculating your basal metabolic rate to understand your bodies calorific needs to sustain your current weight and then take around 350 calories off it. If you are strict and sustain this you will lose a pound of body fat a week guaranteed.

Do not limit carbohydrates as others have suggested, carrots and sweet corn are not the enemy, they contain complex carbohydrates which are good for you, much more so than those derived from the likes of pasta and potatoes, not that you should avoid those either.

When eating main meals aim for 1/4 protein, 1/4 carbs and 1/2 fruit/veg.

Drink atleast 2 litres of water a day, get atleast 6-8 hours sleep and be patient.

Exercise frequently, it doesn't matter what it is as long as you're moving, exercise burns calories. You cannot target fat loss from specific areas of the body with exercise, this is controlled by genetics.

If you feel bloated it might be worth keeping a food diary to track triggers and eliminating them from your diet, but otherwise stick at it and you will see gradual changes, take photos at 4 week intervals to track results.

Most of all you need to learn to love yourself, being in the right place mentally goes a long way to achieving good health physically (and btw physical health is not just about how you look). None of us are perfect, or we all are in our own way, whichever way you want to look at it. Look after yourself.

I think just by cutting out take aways and sugary snacks are a big thing to overcome at the moment. I know fruit is sweet but almost daily I would usually eat chocolate, crisps, cake and many other junk food items.

I am starting to feel less lethargic too which is good.

^ You already know what you need to do (balanced diet, chat with a GP/nutritionist) chuck in some exercise & give yourself time. It really is that easy.

OP - I posted quite a lengthy post a while back giving advice, but tbh, some posters on here are right in that everyone is different and what works for Sally won't work for Sarah. That's why some people can go to the gym and do the same amount of exercise but have a completely different macro split, i.e ( 60% proteins, 20%carbs and 30% fats). Personally for me, I need a high protein diet and recommended this because like you I store fat around my middle, i'm 37, have thyroid issues and have had a C-Section. But you might find that actually having a diet higher in good fats may be more beneficial. Nevertheless, I still believe having a good amount of protein will help build muscle mass, and do recommend a shake or something after working out.

Furthermore, some posters on here are recommending '6-8 hours' of sleep a night. I recommended 8-9 hours. This is because last night I only managed 6 hours of sleep and my workout this morning was dire. I really struggled. Some people can do it, unfortunately I'm not one of them. You will find out what works for you and your body when you start.

If you do happen to read this though, please remember that consistency is key when starting the gym and especially with weight/strength training. You are doing an amazing thing by getting started and by getting a P.T. You absolutely should be commended for that. And If you stick with it, you will start to realise what works for you in terms of nutrition. You will start making progress in so many different ways and feel great about yourself. Results don't just come from fat loss, but my feeling good and my going an extra set, or being able to lift a higher weight. I'm only saying this because it's changed my life in so many ways and I'd be lost without the gym now (I was a complete gym phobe beforehand and used to eat McDonalds 3 times a week at my worst). So, if I can do it - you can too.

Good Luck! Enjoy your session on Sunday. You got this! x

Lovely post @ukgone2pot.

Hi op, I lost 2 stone on a high protein low carb diet, I also have central obesity and hypothyroidism. The latest perceived wisdom seems to be that calories in calories out doesn’t work for menopausal women as our metabolism has changed. IME carbs like potatoes, bread, pasta and rice are the devil, I found that after 45 I could no longer eat these foods and stay slim.

Thank you everyone. I am reading all replies its just hard to reply to them all individually.

Your messages are really helping me to not feel alone in this and is motivating me forwards.

I agree with needing more sleep. I feel tired most of the time and look forward to bed time lol.

The overnight oats were really nice I surprised myself. So I'm def going to have that for breakfast going forward.

You're definitely not alone, don't worry. Glad you like oats, it's a really nutritious breakfast that can help you feel full for a long time.

A question for you all.

Are you meant to eat breakfast before a PT session or better on an empty stomach?

A bit worried about throwing up as I'm so unfit..

I would rather throw up than dry heave and only bring up bile. So, I would eat something liquid, like soup or a non-dairy smoothie or any non-sticky food with lots of water.
But, if exercise is making you throw up, it is either too much for you or you have an underlying condition. Exercise should not make you throw up, contrary to what reality tv has led us to believe.

Well done OP! I’m similar shape to you - some due to age but mainly poor exercise and diet
not attractive but trying to work on it - I need to try a lot harder!!

I don't like exercising with food in my stomach so I don't eat before. But a lot of people swear by a banana half an hour before.

Update. My first PT session went well. I managed the full hour. Very sore this morning lol.
Was told I wasn't having enough calories so that has been altered with a goal of half a kg loss per week. Been told not to weigh myself until she does next in 4 weeks.
Going to try and get to the gym every other day minimum for half an hour.
Today I'm on overnight oats for breakfast, the gym kitchen meal for lunch. Then for tea a salmon fillet with steamed veg one or two bags.
With cashew nuts or babybel lights for snacks.
And I'm going to force down 2 litres of water this week and see how I feel from it. Will get more steps in going for a wee every 20 minutes!

How did the PT session go? @Avatarthewayofwater

Ha sorry post overlap - great update, you sound so positive. Did you learn about resistance training and weights?

This! Rich can be brutal but it's a total eye opener. I was going to say a lot of what you put on MFP is 0.5 cup of food. You need weigh EVERYTHING to the gram. That's oil, milk in your coffee, sugar - everything. You'll be surprised how many calories you eat up just in those types of things. I suspect you're over eating and not realising it. It's certainly not enough calories to keep you going, especially with your exercise. Walking plus weight training (YouTube for free videos and you can use milk bottles filled with water in place of weights) will likely help you.

I did a warm up on the treadmill with some rolling hills, lunges with weight, crunches with weight, a weighted ball for arm strength, some straps attached to the wall sort of like a press up in the air?

I can definitely feel it today in my muscles.

I'm going to go today or tomorrow and do some cardio.

Sounds like a great start @Avatarthewayofwater.

I thought I'd pop back with an update.

I'm getting used to eating healthier now and am actually enjoying my overnight oats each morning and my nice teas.

Went to the gym again this evening and starting to feel a bit less insecure.

I have my PT session tomorrow morning due to the Easter Bank Holiday.

I've also booked on for spinning class or toning class every other week day before work.

I know it will take me a very long time to get to where I want to be and I will probably end up with lots of saggy skin at the end. But I'd rather have saggy skin that I can hide away under nice clothes than not be able to wear anything nice at all.

I've started to try a bit of self care too. Painting my nails, getting my eyebrows done, moisturising and caring for myself a bit more.

Well done, OP! That’s fabulous! 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽

Excellent update! It will all get you the most important thing- feeling better about yourself. Feeling healthier. Feeling more in control.

I know it will take me a very long time to get to where I want to be and I will probably end up with lots of saggy skin at the end.

If you are trying to avoid saggy skin, you definitely want it to take a long time, because slow/steady is far and away the best way to do this. And if not for the sake of your skin, remember that your body/organs especially your heart & lungs also need time to adapt/strengthen/become accustomed to their new routine/s. As in years.

I always eat breakfast (whether I'm training or not).
After a while, I found training improved my sleep.
Also, gym insecurities tend to vanish pretty quickly, especially once you know how to do all the exercises.
You're doing everything right, your PT sounds fab and you'll be planning your first marathon/iron man/pentathlon (delete as appropriate) in no time!!!

Try intermittent fasting, 16:8 , works relative well for me. Always had belly, but when I stuck to 16:8, no alcohol with regular exercise including weights , stomach improved significantly. I'd go for less carbs, keto would probably boss it, but something doesn't sit well with about ketosis. I'm early 40s.

I do feel like I'm eating too many calories which I'll ask them about today. Although at the same time I have been waking up in the night or mornings feeling hungry.

Annoyingly my habit of weighing myself is still here. And I'm not seeing any changes on there. But will I if I'm building muscle?