To wonder why some people reminisce/are more sentimental than others

[Forgottowatchgoggleboxlastnight]

Currently in bed with kidney stones, but being able to have one fully indulgent day whilst Dh looks after Dd, 4.
Just lay here thinking of my childhood and Saturdays in my teens in the mid 90’s. They really were amazing times, my childhood wasn’t perfect but mainly I have good memories. The trips to the corner shop for that music magazine (forget the name) when I was v young, so I could put A-Ha posters on my wall and the 10 p mixes and bubblegums with stories/jokes inside. Later on it was J17, Mizz & More. The Saturday trips into town on the bus with friends to go to The Body shop and McDonald’s if you had enough, a Greggs pastie/pasty if you didn’t. Getting in as it was getting dark to have dinner made for you and to sit and watch Beverley hills 90210, Baywatch, Blind date etc…Sundays were for The Wonder years, all sat round after a Sunday dinner. I remember the feeling of sitting in bed on a Saturday morning reading books and sunny bike rides and the smell of the grass being cut, maybe seeing your grandparents that day, the house being full and friends knocking on for you to come out.
My life isn’t terrible these days, it’s far far away from those days..figuratively and literally (I live abroad now) maybe that’s what makes me think of the past more?
I’ve met people who are very like me in this sense, but so many who aren’t and just remember for a second and then move on.
Is there a reason some people are more like this then others? Is it a sign of being less happy with your current life?

So it *Is only me then 😅

I must be the same age!

I had Peter Andre posters, would buy a freddo for 10p and read Heat magazine.

I'd go to HMV and buy the latest number 1 on tape, and record songs off the radio.

I was always on the landline phone to my schoolfriends and we'd actually have to knock on each others doors. We'd cycle to the next town to meet boys and just spent hours doing nothing.

I had a pretty rubbish family home life but you've brought back some lovely memories!

Thank god there was no social media. I'd have died.

For me personally, I find when I am feeling nostalgic, it’s because I am not that happy with my current life.

The Victorians thought it was a disease like depression and I can see that.

I think it's pining for being younger and having no real worries or responsibilities. Life wasn't weighing heavily on your shoulders. You see it on Facebook and YouTube all the time "Life was better then" etc. It really wasn't, you were just younger and didn't notice so much (assuming non-abusive parents etc).

I do get wistful at times but agree with a pp that it's when I'm not feeling too happy that it happens. I tried to avoid all those "let's just talk about the old days" conversations as I find them depressing. Although I do love trying to piece together a bit of family history.

Some degree of nostalgia as you get older is very common to the point of being quite close to universal. 'Rosy retrospection' has been observed across cultures and across history: the Romans, too, thought everything was just a little bit better a little while ago. So I don't think a bit of it is a sign of anything in particular; I agree that when it becomes more dominant it's normally a sign that you're not happy currently. I also think some people are more predisposed to notice the negative than the positive in any current situation and those people are usually more nostalgic (which is ironic because they were normally just as dissatisfied in the period they're waxing lyrical about, because they were also focused on all the negatives then - they've just forgotten those now!).

Nostalgia really depresses me, so i found the comment about the victorian's take on it very apt. I can be sentimental in that i value remembering loved ones who have died and having a few keepsakes. My style of dress and home are mid-century modern and I've always assumed this is a way of being sentimental without it being specific to my personal history. But otherwise I live in the present moment, quite naturally but firmly so. I don't look back and I'm not anxious about the future.

A bit of nostalgia can be good for you

https://www.bbc.com/future/article/20140603-why-nostalgia-is-good-for-you

I love it. Like thinking of growing up in the 80s 90s with no mobiles. It's like another life time.

I question myself if it really happened.

I still live as if it's the 90s as much as I can!

I watch the same tv shows, listen to the sane music.

I'm even wearing the same clothes now!

I have a easier life now (not well parented) so it's not that.

I think it was much better to be young then than young now.

I want the 90s but not to have the awful miserable life I had then.

Interesting comments thank you 😊
You see I don’t find it depressing to talk about the past with my parents for example, they chat too but then something seems to come over then and they move the conversation on. Is that because they’re sad we can’t go back, is that why people feel depressed?
I agree though, that sometimes when I do it a lot, I do wonder why…I can almost feel how I felt then and although happy now and loving seeing my Dd create happy childhood memories etc, there was nothing like that feeling when young

@coffeeandeav It does feel like another world, doesn’t it? It’s like a heavenly place to me (in my likely rose tinted glasses mind!)

@Aphrathestorm Sorry you had a tough childhood, as I say mine wasn’t great in parts, but I sort of made my own happiness with friends etc and absolutely loved the 90’s too, best era.

What do you watch and listen to and what are you wearing?! Cargo pants back in 🤷🏻‍♀️😅

This is really interesting. I have a strong reaction to nostalgia, it makes me feel depressed and anxious and sometimes nauseous. I had a normal, happy childhood so I have no idea why, but a strong pull towards looking forward rather than back.

Your childhood weekends sound exactly like mine and I miss them terribly 😔 I know my future self will look back on my present life fondly so I am trying to enjoy all the small moments I take for granted now as I will one day long for them again.

What do you watch and listen to and what are you wearing?!

Had nirvana on last night.

I listen to 90s compilations in the car.

Watch friends, the connors (ie Roseanne), Colombo, tales of the unexpected, this life, 1995 pride and prejudice, sex and the city.

So many great films then too- watched steel magnolias, Big, romy and Michelle, Forrest Gump, scream, good will hunting all in the last fortnight.

I've got flares on today.

Wear flat forms.

Puffa jacket.

90s hairdo.

I just don't wear scrunches!

I'm 60 now. When I was in my 20s/30s even 40s I use to love to talk about the past, my past, even my late parents' young lives - I was quite fascinated with it all. Now it fills me with dread - maybe not the right word. I've recently had to start driving (with my DC) through the town 10 miles away where I lived when I was young - I do it once a week - right past my old house. The traffic is very slow so we are often stopped next to a pavement I would have walked on with my mum (who died when I was 13). I walked down that road with her, sometimes with a thru'penny bit, to go to the shop and get sweets or a toy, to get the bus, I can literally see it, she was there, we lived there in that moment. But its as if it happened to someone else?

I often tell DCs lots of stories about it, almost as if I feel compelled to, and I think it makes them uncomfortable too. Its just ... odd, unsettling. Interesting that the Victorians thought it to be like "depression".

The thing with nostalgia is, you have to be in the mood for it, and with many people it can veer into maudlin chat about life passing fast if they wallow too long.

I have a colleague who loves a bit if reminiscing, but when she starts sighing and going into "Those were the days, ah we were young then!" we tend to find something else to talk about.

Smash Hits?

@CheeseMunchies Yes I definitely appreciate the now and know I’ll miss these times when Dd is no longer little and that makes me sad..maybe I’m just an emotional mess with these things as others seem more stoic about it all

@MiniDinosaur Yes, I have to be in the right mood for it, but generally enjoy thinking of the past, if I’m able to stop it going into a sad place, if that makes sense. I wonder what the anxiety means

@Aphrathestorm Ahh Roseanne, I used to love Friday nights watching that with my mum

@HangerLaneGyratorySystem Really interesting post. I totally understand, my parents have moved 6 hrs away from my childhood home (I lived in for 20 years) and I now live abroad and haven’t been to the house for around 18 years, I’m curious but also don’t want to visit it, but I can also vividly see myself walking to the shops with mum too etc and it’s that hazy feeling of being so real/almost unreal…so strange

@TheYearOfSmallThings Yes, it can easily veer off into becoming a sad thing

@AxolotlOnions Thats the one!