Is it crazy to bring forward wedding to TTC sooner

[cerealchops]

We have planned a small wedding at the registry office and hiring a function room afterwards nearby for a party for our parents, our siblings and their families etc. Only booked the venue for the evening which can be altered for a nominal admin fee. Not booked anything else, as we were originally aiming for August 2024.

We’re only 23 and 25 currently so young to get married anyway by most people’s standards, but I’m less bothered about the day itself and more eager to be married. DH-to-be is relaxed and not particular as to how we do it or when, he had originally suggested later this year anyway.

Is it a bit silly to bring it forward - I’m thinking summer/autumn this year, with the sole reason of wanting to TTC soon after? I know we could always try before the wedding, people do, but DH has said it’s important to him we’re married before kids which I respect.

You only get one wedding day (hopefully..) and I don’t want to rush it but we’re not going in for pulling all the stops out anyway!

@Sapphire387 @Crumpetdisappointment thank you!

Absolutely do it

Absolutely go for it, congratulations!

If it’s any help we started planning our wedding in January and got married in April. We got married on a Wednesday which made it so much easier. Photographers, florists, venues, etc all have availability on a week day. I bought my dress off the peg two weeks before the wedding! One of my friends was having kittens because I left it so late!

Oooh thank you @Blossomtoes it never even entered my head to do it in the week, but of course. I suppose it’s easier as well when you’ve got a smaller guest list. We’re still debating just eloping then taking our nearest and dearest out for a meal x

I really advise having a wedding, no matter how small. It means a huge amount to the people who love you to watch you make your vows, wherever you do it. You’ll never forget the blanket of love that surrounds you on the day. For me it was about much more than having a party.

I married within 6 weeks . We went to the registry office, had a stroll around a beautiful village to take wedding pictures and went to dinner. There were just 5 of us so a very small party. I baked my own cake and the rings weren't ready yet but we were happy with it. We just wanted to be married.

If you don't want a big do then you don't need a lot of time, so I'd say go for it!

I'd bring the wedding forward. If TTC is something you want to do sooner rather than later I wouldn't start trying before getting married so crack on 💐

@Greenolivetrees that sounds so lovely!

I think more than anything, I’m worried people will be a bit goggle eyed when they hear we’re doing it and I have only just turned 23. It feels right and I am certain of the choice but I feel it would look more acceptable if I were say, 25! This is silly right?

Have you been together a while?
At 23 I was ready to get married, I had been with him for 11 years by then. I had been qualified as a nurse for 2 years, saved for a mortgage and moved in our home at 24. We wanted our home first before getting married and got married nearly a year later.
When it feels right for you both, it feels right for you both.
A lot of my friends aren't married or are getting married in now at 34/35. It's what right for them.

Your age is irrelevant @cerealchops. You both have old heads on young shoulders. You don’t sound remotely silly - quite the reverse.

@MoserRothOrangeandAlmond not as long as you! 11 years by then is some going. We’ve been together approaching 4 years. It’s all different for everyone but none of my peers have married yet, so I do feel somewhat of an outlier

@Blossomtoes thank you!

4 years is a while before getting married! As long as you are both happy that's the main thing 😊😊

Yup! Silly!

If you're sure, youre sure.

I think the biggest hurdle when you're young (or any age!) is ensuring this person you're marrying is someone you can grow old/develop with (plenty of pals got divorced after 5,10,15 years cos they changed so much, or their OH was hopeless once they had kids /had illnesses /had other major life events...)

Move it forward. I hate the mong engagement trend.

You are only 23! What’s the rush to have kids?!

focus on your career, travel, having fun 😀 focus on yourself basically

Will you have enough money for parental leave/general cost of children etc after the wedding? We saved up loads for an baby and it still cost a fortune!! Also think about mortgage increases due to interest rate rises. Having a baby is tough, but it’s better if you don’t have to scrimp after baby is born and can do a few treats.

This happened to me: I already had one child from a previous relationship who was two and a half. I didn’t want too much of an age gap so suggested we started trying four months before the wedding, convinced it would take a few months. I conceived straight away and when I went for my final dress fitting it was too tight and couldn’t be let out so I had to opt for a different dress that I didn’t like as much! However I didn’t regret it, I couldn’t imagine my wonderful son not existing!