Husband and lack of appetite

[Namechanged2251]

My husbands lack of appetite really annoys me. Obviously can’t talk to people in real life as it sounds like a non-issue but it causes me so much grief and annoyance. When we were dating he would never want to eat out on a night out so I used to stuff my face before! The rare times we would eat out he would look at me disgusted. I was a really skinny girl so it’s not like I was eating huge amounts.

even now when we go out with the kids to a pub or restaurant he always says no we just here for drinks to the person seating us and I interrupt saying actually no the kids need to be fed so food too. He acts suprised and always says “oh I did t know we were gonna eat here” like it bloody 6pm how does he not think the kids need to be fed! which pisses me off.

we just about to go out to an activity soon where if you don’t order the food as soon as you go in it won’t be out for at least an hour by which time the activity will be done. I know he’s going to say I’m not hungry you guys just order. He really annoys me, I’m sorry if people think it’s a non issue but 15 years of this I’m fed up of him I really am. He then acts all annoyed when we get home and I don’t want to cook for him as it’s been a long evening and I’ve already eaten. He’s never cooked a meal in his life I always cook for him. His bloody statement “oh I’ll just eat at home” is so annoying as it means after a long day I have to get home and cook for him. What is wrong with this guy?

A lot of negative answers here, but have you considered that he may have a phobia of eating in public?
I hate eating in front of people that I don’t know well.
I can eat with family and some friends, but would absolutely hate eating with work colleagues that I don’t know well. I would pick at something whilst at the table, then sneak off somewhere to eat crisps or chocolate to fill up on.

No idea why, and I’m nowhere near as bad as I used to be, but it really does make me feel uncomfortable.

If you’re arranging to go out or to the pub, surely you need to have the normal chat of “food out tonight?”. I’ve never not gone out for food without expressly deciding or discussing going out for food first.
Just don’t cook for him! Sounds like you are unhappy in your relationship and this is the issue you are concentrating on. Just stop cooking

Never cooked a meal in his life? Wow, how did he cope before meeting you?

He needs to learn to cook, if he's not going to eat out with the rest of the family then he needs to cook for himself.

Give him the option to either eat out, or make his own tea.

I wouldn't be cooking all his meals but I also wouldn't have married him. It's too strange

Well when he says I will just eat at home why don't you say have something with us because I'm not cooking ! Why can't he cook that's just ridiculous

You didn't say that did you !

How do you end up in a pub or restaurant with him not expecting food?

I used to know a guy years ago who had a thing about eating in public. He had a real phobia about it but could eat for the Olympics at home. Is it something like that?

My husband is like this. Incredibly annoying. Eating for him is just a function to stay alive and I hate hate when we're out when he is surprised when I say I want to eat as if I'm a greedy cow. He could easily go all day without seeking out food but would also eat anything that was served to him. He's slim

Can you not talk to him about this OP? The snack wrappers in the bin does point to binge eating type disorder combined with everything else. How is his weight?

You aren’t being very clear

Is it that he doesn’t like to eat out, or he doesn’t appear to eat much at all?

If it’s the latter, and you also find hidden food wrappers then yes maybe he does have an eating disorder.

But the first thing is to stop cooking endless meals for him. It’s insane that he’s never cooked a meal.

I wondered whether he had a phobia about eating out as well, especially if money isn’t an issue. Possibly an earring disorder, or social anxiety about eating in oublic. It may be something simple like not knowing what to choose to eat.

Regarding eating at home, don’t cook for him. Have some pizza or ready meals in, so if he’s hungry, he can stick it in the microwave.

My husband doesn’t cook much. However, we did a boxed food service for a month (using a discounted introduction offer), and he really enjoyed this. I think it cuts out having to weigh out all the ingredients, as they’re all there.

@Crazycrazylady snap. It's really annoying

Before I even got to the end of your OP I was thinking it sounds like a classic eating disorder. Not sure what you can do about it though apart from definitely stop cooking for him. He'll have to sort himself out if he's going to impose his untreated eating disorder on all of you.

Stop cooking for him, he can learn to make himself some food like all capable adults do when they leave home.
That would drive me absolutely bananas.

Sounds like he has an issue with eating in front of other/in public as hes eating when you get home

What’s wrong with him? … what’s wrong with you?? Why are you cooking for a grown man who declined a meal while in a restaurant?

Foe whatever reason it sounds like he doesn’t like to eat out, whether that’s because he doesn’t like the food or the cost who knows. It’s clearly not linked to him having no appetite if it wants food when he gets home.
If he doesn’t want to eat with everyone else while out then fine but don’t pander to him and cook for only him later.

I don't think it necessarily means he has a eating disorder, with my husband it's just he is the anti foodie. He tends to work late some evening and would come home and just eat a large bowl of cornflakes.
Food for him seems to be just a biological requirement to stay alive where as I live to try new foods and restaurants and eat out in general. His ideal night out is the pub for a few drinks where mine is dinner in a nice restaurant.

We've had words on holidays in particular when at the start I say things like we will eating lunch at lunch time and dinner at dinner time so no
Big ' you're not hungry are ye' surprise when I suggest stopping somewhere.
It's incredibly annoying actually and even though we're quiet comfortably off I feel that as he doesn't appreciate good food over any food he secretly thinks eating out is a total waste of money which it is to him .

It sounds like a phobia or eating disorder. Could be binge eating or Afrid. I'd want him to see a specialist.