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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Grievance

114 replies

Sparklybutold · 24/03/2023 15:11

Got an email yesterday out the blue inviting me to a grievance meeting. No detail about what the grievance is about in the letter. Seems my managers don't know nor do HR? It seems the only person that knows is the investigating officer? And whoever made the complaint?

I have looked at the policy which frankly isn't very clear.

I hate the unknowns and this is really stressful? I'd have thought that if you are attending a meeting where a complaint has been made against you then you would be given the details of what this is about prior? I've contacted the investigating officer who bounced me back to HR, and then HR said they don't know the details and have bounced me back to the investigating officer. The lady from HR was abrupt and demonstrated no care. The call ended abruptly when I asked ‘so there's nothing you can do to support me?’ next thing I hear is the ring tone - great.

So it's the weekend tomorrow and I am working. Bloody fantastic.

Any advice?

OP posts:
aibutohavethisusername · 29/03/2023 19:05

That’s good news.

youshouldnthaveasked · 29/03/2023 19:11

Sparklybutold · 29/03/2023 17:51

Awe ladies - how utterly lovely. In a nutshell - it was informal, HR sent the wrong form. The two people holding the meeting were apologetic and lovely. It was a grievance against me but nothing more than the consequence of 2 clashing personalities. I felt reassured that it won't go beyond the informal today.

Pleased to hear it wasn’t so bad.

thebestbirtheraccordingtoDD · 29/03/2023 19:32

Sparklybutold · 29/03/2023 17:51

Awe ladies - how utterly lovely. In a nutshell - it was informal, HR sent the wrong form. The two people holding the meeting were apologetic and lovely. It was a grievance against me but nothing more than the consequence of 2 clashing personalities. I felt reassured that it won't go beyond the informal today.

I still would be upset about that. How can someone raise a grievance because you don't get on. I'd be raising one right back

Dontlikewashing · 29/03/2023 19:39

NowItsSpring · 24/03/2023 19:12

Is it possible that you are being interviewed as a 'witness' in relation to a grievance against someone else? I had a similar experience of being given no information. The investigating officer explained afterwards that this was to avoid people discussing the matter and comparing notes in advance - what she wanted was objective information. As it happened I did have very relevant information without knowing the details of the allegation. If the grievance was against you I would have expected you to receive more information about the process and in our organisation the opportunity to have someone with you.

This. I had something very similar but, when I queried it, was helpfully told that I was not the subject of the grievance and had nothing to worry about. If the grievance turns out to be about you then I would suggest postponing the meeting until you are given more information. There is nothing wrong with asking this once the meeting has started or even just walk out and ask them to send you more information. If you're in a union ask them for advice and if you're not then think about joining one. Hope it works out as these things can be stressful even when it's not about you.

MichelleScarn · 29/03/2023 20:38

thebestbirtheraccordingtoDD · 29/03/2023 19:32

I still would be upset about that. How can someone raise a grievance because you don't get on. I'd be raising one right back

Show quote history

Same, it's horrible though how some people weaponise (if that's the right term?!) HR policy! If only they put as much effort into working as into dodging working and reporting others!

RockhoppersLovePoppers · 29/03/2023 21:42

Phew thank goodness. What a load of stress. I'd have been climbing the walls

Emilia35 · 30/03/2023 03:36

Glad it went well, but I'd be making a complaint about the person who raised it! Ridiculous behaviour from their part.

Original poster
Sparklybutold · 07/04/2023 17:34

So recommendation that I redo a bit of training (again) and meet with my colleague who raised the grievance.

I'll be leaving soon after securing employment elsewhere. I frankly can't be arsed. The person who raised the grievance is frankly dangerous. They already got one person booted out to another part of the organisation for a very serious allegation which was unfounded and after investigating was dropped. The colleague is frankly dangerous.

Any ideas where I stand on going to the meeting? It's requested during the week when I don't work. I work weekends so I have stated my week is tight as it is - so asked for the meeting to be weekend, pointing out I'll be leaving soon.

Any advice? I just feel done with the job and so done with this particular colleague.

OP posts:
FoolsOld · 07/04/2023 18:32

It's a recommendation, not a directive. I'd say no to both and leave it at that!

Sapphire387 · 07/04/2023 18:48

Sounds like it wouldn't be worth your time to attend. They have said it's optional so... take the 'no' option.

Postapocalypticcowgirl · 07/04/2023 19:30

Sparklybutold · 24/03/2023 21:15

Problem is I'm a part of free speech union and as I don't know what its about they've questioned whether they can go?

Show quote history

They're not a trade union as such, are they? So they may or may not be of any help, depending on what's been alleged.

I think it is worth a try to say you are a member of FSU, and you may wish them to accompany you to the meeting and then giving grounds for them accompanying you and asking the investigating officer to clarify.

Do you have a colleague who you trust who could accompany you?

But this is why it's very useful to be part of a "normal" trade union as well- it wouldn't be a bar to your membership of FSU.

Magenta82 · 08/04/2023 07:06

I guess if it suits you you could offer to swap a working day in order to meet, but only if it suits you, otherwise say it needs to be during your normal work schedule.

How close is your industry? Could you meet this person down the line or get a reputation for being uncooperative?

Original poster
Sparklybutold · 08/04/2023 12:28

Magenta82 · 08/04/2023 07:06

I guess if it suits you you could offer to swap a working day in order to meet, but only if it suits you, otherwise say it needs to be during your normal work schedule.

How close is your industry? Could you meet this person down the line or get a reputation for being uncooperative?

I have another job. Putting in my months notice today. Very unlikely ill meet them again. Frankly the person who raised the grievance is dangerous and has poor and dubious decision making skills.

OP posts:
ALLIS0N · 08/04/2023 19:15

Great update @Sparklybutold . Congratulations on your new job.
Hopefully you have some annual leave outstanding so you can get out of there even sooner.

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