Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Choosing Beggars

3 replies

Lilibobo · 24/03/2023 00:00

Wondering if I’m wrong to feel miffed about this. Perhaps I should take my judgey pants off…

I have a health condition that means I currently need weekly slightly horrible hospital appointments. As a treat for getting through it I like to get myself something nice at the coffee shop next to the hospital. Obviously I’m there fairly regularly so having chatted to the barista quite often, he now knows me and my situation fairly well for a random non-friend. He knows I’m a single mum and though I haven’t said it has read between the lines and knows things are a bit tough. My appt was very late today so he was packing up the food when I arrived, and he generously gave me a whole bag of unsold goods for me and DD. Far too much for us to manage really, it was very kind of him.

There was a homeless man sitting across the road. Wanting to share some of my good fortune, I offered him some of the food, explaining I’d just been given it by a friend and if there was anything he wanted he was welcome. He said no he wanted a hot drink. I told him I didn’t have money to buy anything else- I’d been given the food. It was pre packaged, I can understand concerns about random food but it was all bagged up and he’d just seen me leave the cafe. He was a bit aggressive about me buying him a drink so I went on my way to get the bus.

Saw a lady selling the big issue. Thought I’d offer her the same, explaining I couldn’t buy the magazine but I’d been given extra food if she wanted any. She asked (very bluntly) if I had any chicken sandwiches because she likes chicken. I had a poke through the bag, no sadly not. She rolled her eyes. She was wearing a headscarf so figured it might be a religious thing as some were pork based, so offered her a vegan one. She kissed her teeth at me, said ‘no I don’t like that one’, then took two ham toasties out of the bag.

I know it’s only sandwiches. I feel guilty about not giving them money as they clearly do need that, still feel quite bad about not buying the man a hot drink but honestly I only spend £3 a week at that cafe to brighten up a bleak visit. I’m not homeless but I’m far from flush!

AIBU in feeling a bit miffed at their responses when I was trying to do a nice thing?

OP posts:
HangingOver · 24/03/2023 00:09

Doesn't sound like they were actually begging. It sucks that you got rejected for a good deed but I cannot imagine how much shit these people go through and put up with, I expect it hardens you up

EineReiseDurchDieZeit · 24/03/2023 00:11

You were trying to be nice and funnily a cousin of mine once had a similar experience

You should've taken the first No off the woman and kept your spoils!

Lilibobo · 24/03/2023 00:13

HangingOver · 24/03/2023 00:09

Doesn't sound like they were actually begging. It sucks that you got rejected for a good deed but I cannot imagine how much shit these people go through and put up with, I expect it hardens you up

First guy was- had a sign up asking for money.

Second lady, I get she was working, but thought I’d offer.

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread