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Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To get signed off for a couple of weeks?

35 replies

sadfacesmileys · 23/03/2023 20:19

I'm 30 weeks pregnant and have really had a shitty time of it.

Covid, then a lingering chest infection, then recovered for a few weeks then got full blown flu and was on the mend now I've had a horrendous sickness bug.

I'm just seemingly not recovering and my immune system is low. Not eating properly, keep getting kidney and urine infections, have pelvic pain, and on top of all this a toddler to look after and a hugely demanding senior role (where I'm in the office majority of the week).

I just feel like I'm not coping.

I'm due to have a new starter Monday and all I can think is - I can't sit and train someone. I need time and space to get better properly and get back on my feet. Work are putting insane amounts of pressure on me pre Mat leave to recruit and train and basically make their lives easier and I'm just not coping physically or mentally.

I'd like to speak to a sympathetic doctor tomorrow and get signed off for two weeks. Is this something a doctor would even do?! Just for generally being pregnant and rundown? I'd like the sick note to say it's pregnancy related so it doesn't go on my sick record. As I have never ever been so poorly for so long - I'm inclined to believe that pregnancy is really hindering me.

Or am I totally unreasonable?

OP posts:

Nap1983 · 23/03/2023 20:20

You don’t sound well enough to be at work. Get signed off

HealthConcerns · 23/03/2023 20:20

Not unreasonable at all. Though bare in mind if you are off sick at all in the last 4 weeks of your pregnancy they automatically start your maternity leave so be mindful of how long you have off

WetBandits · 23/03/2023 20:21

Is there an option to take early Mat leave? My direct report went on Mat leave yesterday at 30 weeks as while she’s well, it’s a high risk pregnancy and we want to keep her well and rested and keep her babies safe too!

Vegalam · 23/03/2023 20:22

I've asked for a sick note in similar circumstances and GP was really good about it. Definitely not unreasonable!

Slightlydustcovered · 23/03/2023 20:22

I hear you, I had HG it was rough juggling everything. Just popping here to say check your policy. At my place If you were signed off within 10 weeks of date and they believe things to be long term rather than the flu etc. There is a clause saying you can be moved on to mat leave early.

ermwhati · 23/03/2023 20:23

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Original poster

sadfacesmileys · 23/03/2023 20:26

@WetBandits I really want to avoid taking Mat leave until I really have to because I already will have less time than I'd like off with my baby 😢

Wow these comments have really given me a boost of confidence to call the doctor in the morning. I really thought I'd be told to man up and get to work 🤣

OP posts:

ermwhati · 23/03/2023 20:29

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Original poster

sadfacesmileys · 23/03/2023 20:33

Yes @ermwhati I checked and it's 4 weeks with my company - and I plan to finish at 36 weeks anyway all being well!

OP posts:

Original poster

sadfacesmileys · 23/03/2023 20:37

I also feel quite angry to be honest. They've not done a risk assessment despite me requesting one, I had a week off sick recently and didn't have a return to work interview barely even got acknowledged when I returned.

OP posts:

Original poster

sadfacesmileys · 23/03/2023 20:38

Just feels they want to bleed me dry and my pregnancy is an inconvenience.

OP posts:

KittyAlfred · 23/03/2023 20:38

You can sign yourself off for a week before needing a doctors note

TwirlyGalaxy · 23/03/2023 20:40

Ohh definitely take some time to rest and get well! Hope you feel better soon OP.

Teacaketotty · 23/03/2023 20:44

Similar position OP, I’m 32 weeks now and doctor signed me off for the last 3 weeks - for very similar reasons, I asked for pregnancy reasons to be stated on the note and she wrote pregnancy pain/stress. Look after yourself and baby first and foremost!

User17865 · 23/03/2023 20:45

If you emphasise the pelvic pain as the main issue then they’ll have to say it’s pregnancy related illness. You can still mention everything else and needing time to recover properly.
I hope you get a decent GP and as someone else said you could just have a week for now on a self cert then see a GP. I’m sure you know that anyway.
Good luck with the rest of your pregnancy.

TheHoover · 23/03/2023 20:47

Wow these comments have really given me a boost of confidence to call the doctor in the morning. I really thought I'd be told to man up and get to work 🤣

that’s good that you will do this now.

youshouldnthaveasked · 23/03/2023 20:48

aww it sounds really stressful. Please take some time off and rest.

take care

Doesthepopeshitinthewoods · 23/03/2023 21:18

sadfacesmileys · 23/03/2023 20:38

Just feels they want to bleed me dry and my pregnancy is an inconvenience.

That probably is what they think. Thankfully, you’re protected. Get signed off, get better, go and run out your time and then have a great mat leave.

Original poster

sadfacesmileys · 24/03/2023 08:40

Just realised if I am signed off for two weeks I will then immediately go on annual leave for two weeks so means a month off work.

Have doctors calling me this morning but the guilt is creeping in already :(

OP posts:

MrsMiagi · 24/03/2023 08:49

Please take the time. I kept pushing on and almost ended up hospitalised then ended up a month off anyway. I convinced myself being pregnant isn't an illness and others cope fine but I was struggling so much. You and baby are more important than work right now

Bubbleses · 24/03/2023 09:25

Do not feel guilty. Your health is a priority and you are not fit to work. I took a lot of sick leave in my third trimester with my first pregnancy - I had similar issues in that my work was putting a lot of pressure on me to train other people in my team on certain things that I would usually be responsible for (because they didn’t intend to get someone into replace me). I really wish I had just got signed off for a longer period but I had this “guilt” so I would take a couple of days off and then persevere with the training etc. until I then felt I needed a couple of days off again. It was a terrible idea - I never really recovered and spent the whole third trimester feeling exhausted, ill and stressed. Please get signed off for a good amount of time to allow your body to rest properly and don’t feel bad about work.

thinkfast · 24/03/2023 09:32

Don't feel guilty OP. I pushed myself to hard at work with my second preganancy and regretted it later. She was a month early. Health comes first.

youshouldnthaveasked · 24/03/2023 10:25

Don’t feel guilty. You need to look after yourself and your baby.

Oojamaflipper · 24/03/2023 10:34

I’m pregnant. I keep haemorrhaging (four so far, all resulting in hospital stays) I’m supposed to be properly resting but ludicrous female guilt at being so irksome to my workplace as to exercise my own fertility, means that I keep going to work. And I keep having complications.

It’s fucking ridiculous that we feel this way. You need to rest and recuperate, who gives a shit what people say or think about you. Now, to take my own advice…

Original poster

sadfacesmileys · 24/03/2023 11:49

Oh @Oojamaflipper you poor thing.

Doctor is calling any moment so I'm just going to bite the bullet. You should do the same x

OP posts:

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