To be slightly annoyed

31 replies

godeatsscampifries · 23/03/2023 18:30

Cousin has just found out she's pregnant and I'm very happy for her and her partner.

She mentioned in passing that she hopes for a girl.

I find it upsetting that having a boy seems to be seen as second prize.

I have two boys myself, so I said something like 'well boys are lovely too' and she made some vague noise like she didn't quite agree with that.

Just made me feel that that comment, along with all the gender disappointment threads on here, that boys aren't as 'desirable'!

Aibu?

OP posts:

Original poster

godeatsscampifries · 23/03/2023 20:08

applepancakes · 23/03/2023 19:24

I don't think you're being over sensitive. I have a boy and I'm now expecting a girl and honestly it's been upsetting me that family are seemingly more congratulatory and more excited that I've conceived a girl. It makes me feel upset for my son and worried that he's going to pick up on any future favouritism.

I also resent the fact that nearly everyone has commented on how pleased we must be that we're expecting a girl this time around and prior to us knowing the sex, how we must have been hoping for a girl. I didn't really mind, but another boy would have been lovely as that was what my son kept thinking it was going to be.

That would upset me too.

OP posts:

NBLarsen · 23/03/2023 20:17

I genuinely don't understand gender preference and gender disappointment. I am unable to have children, had multiple failed rounds of IVF and a couple of miscarriages. I would have been thrilled just to have a healthy baby. Surely that's all anyone should hope for? You have no idea what your children will grow up to become, traditionally male or female, any gender variation they choose themselves. Just enjoy being a parent of a child and cherish them for who they are.

Cas112 · 23/03/2023 20:20

If she would like a girl she would like a girl. How are you even justifying having a problem with that
It's quite common to have a preference and once baby is here she won't even care anyway

Pseudonamed · 23/03/2023 20:26

I never wanted a girl. Got my boy first then a girl and then another boy.

Girl identifies as a boy so you could say (I dont!) that I have three of my chosen sexed kids. Love em all equally of course.

MrsOnions248 · 23/03/2023 20:39

I think OP is getting a bit of a hard time here. I understand why you might have taken her comments personally, OP, as it possibly came across as her saying “I don’t want what you’ve got” which isn’t nice.
Although I do think people are allowed to have a preference.

I agree that you get alot of threads on MN about people having boys and wishing they were having girls. I rarely see it the other way round.

Fluffodils · 23/03/2023 20:43

I was happy with whatever I got but DH's family were desperate for a boy as they had so many girl cousins etc it really upset me.

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