To be annoyed with colleague?

[Plusnett]

Today in the office, I had a meeting booked with a colleague. At the meeting time, he said he needs to reschedule as they urgently speak with Jane and proceeded to show me his Teams chat with Jane discussing a situation. I said “that’s fine, you talk to Jane and I’ll ask someone else to stand in for our meeting”. Julie walks over and I look for someone to stand in.

5 minutes later when I’m by myself (but in front of other colleagues) Julie confronted me in earshot of others to say that she didn’t find it funny that I called her “Jane” and don’t fucking do it again. I asked her what she’s referring to and she the above. I said that the mutual colleague said he needs to talk with Jane, not her, and I was just repeating what they said, I wasn’t talking about her. Julie said she doesn’t care and I’m not to do it again.

Aibu to be annoyed? how would you follow through with this? There isn’t much of a backstory, she has a history of blowing things out of proportion and “confronting” people. I personally haven’t had a conversation with her so we haven’t had “run ins” before. I just think her standards of behaviour fall short. It wasn’t even a mix up, the mutual colleagues had to sort something out with Jane and Julie just walked over at the wrong time.

Appalling conduct.
Even if you are not personally bothered, it needs reporting. She can’t go around exploding at random colleagues. It creates a bad working environment and many people don’t like loud confrontation, she can really impact negatively the more quiet agreeable people.

YANBU. Can you report this bint to a superior?

Can't stand angry bastards

My manager wasn’t in today so will discuss tomorrow. I tried to speak to her manager today but they’re best friends so doubt anything will come of it as she’s always blowing things out of proportion. She did the same last week where she confronted a colleague for “stealing” her parking space. No one has an allocated parking space at work, but she was properly like “you know exactly what you did, it’s rude, don’t fucking do it again, you know that’s my space” etc

All this needs documenting. She’s an obnoxious bully and I’m willing to bet she isn’t exactly a star performer either.

I get the impression she is one of these ‘untouchables’ that crop up every so often in the workplace. Usually as they are mates with a manager/part of the furniture etc.

Complaining just comes back on you. Sad as it is given you say you rarely need to interact with her if just leave it. Make a dated note on file somewhere private then leave it.

This sounds bonkers. Where did she get the idea that you were talking about her instead of someone called Jane?

Oh dear me. She sounds scary.

Exactly! She’s walks in on a conversation not remotely concerning her and has assumed I am speaking about her.

She swears like that to colleagues?? That's really unacceptable behaviour. Pity her manager and her are pals that's another reason she thinks she's Billy big baws.

YANBU X

She’s not productive at work - but is close friends with her own manager. I don’t cross paths with her team so her performance/attitude doesn’t really impact me though.

I don’t think all other managers are up her arse or that she has “furniture” status. She’s in the team she’s in because she isn’t trusted to work elsewhere. She gets stressed easily which leads to her swearing and moaning for hours and her team has the lowest caseload.

YA-absolutely-NBU. That is appalling behaviour for a professional environment. I’d raise with yours and her line managers and also inform HR that she has verbally abused you. Thankfully you’ve said you don’t work very closely with her but anyone doing that in the workplace needs to be pulled up on it and sharply (and repeatedly!) until they get the message that intimidation and bullying is not OK.

There's one stock response

'I beg your pardon' - sound loudly and firmly.

Then in your case follow it up with- get your facts straight before speaking to me that way. How very dare you.

Then walk away.

She won't do it again. Bullies never do.

Good grief, I can't believe you didn't reprimand her on the spot for swearing at you?

I would be icily polite towards anyone that thought they were entitled to be so rude and make it crystal clear that they need to apologise for their choice of language when talking to me.

I'd also state that next time they want to discuss something work related, they can message me first to arrange a meeting instead of barging in and interrupting me. It was clearly not urgent and she'd made an error of judgment.

I know! Now that I’ve had time to mull it over, I definitely wish I gave it back to her. Going to speak to my manager about a formal complaint tomorrow. Going to say that any future thing she wants to ask me in person needs to be emailed

she sounds horrid

YANBU and I’m confused that 5 people voted to the contrary. Angry bitch

You shouldn't "give it back" to her, you did the right thing. Stay calm and raise a complaint/grievance, then the waters won't be muddied by you giving as good as you got. Everyone should be able to work without abuse and there aren't many workplaces where it's going to be acceptable for someone to be aggressive to a colleague and throw the f word about.

She sounds bonkers. Meet her energy and tell her not to talk to you like that again in front of other people too! 😂

I'd find it hard not to pull her up and ask her who the hell she thinks she is talking to me or anyone like that, especially since she's the one who jumped the gun and embarrassed herself and tell her she needs to wind her fucking neck in.

But I suppose that would be dropping to her level, but still it would be hard not to.
Definitely report her bad attitude and language to your manager.

Sounds like a woman I worked with. Be careful to keep any grievance etc very formal. Don’t rise to her and also be careful of talking to someone like her alone.

The woman I worked with that started like this escalated to slashing my work chair with a knife.

I dont get it, is Jane the new Karen? She sounds bonkers.

I'd just call her Jane now

Is this in an office? I mean in any environment it's awful but I can't believe people behave like this