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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have taken my daughter to nursery in a paint stained t shirt?

67 replies

FigsEverywhere · 23/03/2023 12:23

Daughter is approaching 3 and is at nursery. She loves it when they paint there and despite painting aprons, can end up with it on her t shirt, vest (??!), leggings, shoes etc. Even her coat has paint on the sleeves from painting outside.

I don't care about this - I only use hand me downs from the eldest, cousins or worst case, a bundle of playwear from vinted for nursery. Nothing she wears to go there has any particular value or sentiment.

I have never worried about the condition of her clothes or the state of cleanliness - I'd rather she has fun while I'm at work.

But this morning I sent her in a jumper that had paint over it - stained. It was perfectly clean, just had green paint splodges over the front. I got an odd look from some other parents dropping off at the same time and on reflection I'm wondering whether it's looking like a safeguarding or neglect issue. She's always clean in herself, just her clothes could have any number of paint splodges over.

AIBU sending her in paint covered clothes, even if she is clean?

OP posts:
EatYourVegetables · 23/03/2023 13:36

All my children’s clothes are like this. It’s a sign they’re having a good time. I would hate to have pristine kids who are afraid to touch a glass of juice for fear of ruining clothes, let alone finger paint or climb.

(Though I’m still baffled by finding glitter in a nappy, oil paint on the shoes, and a paint stain in the hair which would not wash out and which occurred when we were on holidays and did not do any arts and crafts.)

prescribingmum · 23/03/2023 13:38

Both my children wore uniform to nursery which inevitably ended up stained with paint and food very quickly. There was absolutely no chance I was replacing any of it with more expensive logo uniform because stains didn't budge - DC2 wore hand me downs even though they were stained!

They're only going to get more stained so best they just wear the same things and keep the nice things free of paint!

BasiliskStare · 23/03/2023 13:47

Well @FigsEverywhere - just another one to say many years ago when DS was at nursery - there is a difference between dirty clothes and stained clothes. If the clothes are clean ( ie been through the wash ) then who cares if a 3 year old child has a stain from paint or whatever on it. If they are comfortable , clean , warm or cool enough that to me was good enough. Can you imagine saying to a 3 year old - please don't get paint on your clothes. nonsense. DS had a few clothes I would not send him into nursery with but in the main , nursery clothes - surely if a good nursery and they are doing activities , it is the job of those clothes to get paint etc over them . I don't think a paint stain on a clean ( washed ) jumper or T shirt is a safeguarding issue.

It sounds like he is having a lovely time

SleepingStandingUp · 23/03/2023 13:48

It'd fine, a quick look will confirm to the teachers it's clean, and they'll know she's a pain maniac.
My nursery aged kids are in UNIFORM so I can't just chuck stuff that's stained and replace with anything so you betcha they're going in stuff with stains on. Clean, fresh, just not chucked after 2 washes

DizzyLizzyKizzy · 23/03/2023 13:51

MrsBunnyEars · 23/03/2023 12:30

If my daughter didn’t go in with paint stains, she’d have to go in nude.

😆😆

AegonT · 23/03/2023 13:54

It's not unreasonable to send her to nursery in paint stained clothes when the clothes got stained at nursery. Why would you send new ones to get stained? It would just mean more ruined tops and less to wear outside nursery.

TheWitchOfShields · 23/03/2023 14:32

I wouldn't worry about it! I work with children & my clothes for work are stained with paint etc. I often come home covered in something myself, never mind the kids.

My 14yo DS does an 'upcycle' club at school, where they upcycle old furniture as part of an enterprise, and came home covered in yellow furniture paint. I couldn't get it out with numerous stain removers so sent him in the following week with same uniform. My DM was mortified that I had no shame to do such a thing 🤣. He came back with more on him again that evening. They wear aprons but they don't cover everything!

PlainJanePerfect · 23/03/2023 14:54

I sent mine with a shirt with a hole in it today. It's very cute but the little shark embroidery got a small tear. I'm not going to fix it because he's about to outgrow it anyway (and I'm crap with a needle). God we loved that top. He's so cute in it!

If nursery so much as raised an eyebrow I'd be surprised. I did say when they had a camera crew coming in, I wouldn't send him in his holey shark top. 🫣

Meanwhile they apologised to me for getting paint on his coat. I just shrugged. I think they appreciate a chilled out parent.

AbreathofFrenchair · 23/03/2023 15:04

FigsEverywhere · 23/03/2023 12:23

Daughter is approaching 3 and is at nursery. She loves it when they paint there and despite painting aprons, can end up with it on her t shirt, vest (??!), leggings, shoes etc. Even her coat has paint on the sleeves from painting outside.

I don't care about this - I only use hand me downs from the eldest, cousins or worst case, a bundle of playwear from vinted for nursery. Nothing she wears to go there has any particular value or sentiment.

I have never worried about the condition of her clothes or the state of cleanliness - I'd rather she has fun while I'm at work.

But this morning I sent her in a jumper that had paint over it - stained. It was perfectly clean, just had green paint splodges over the front. I got an odd look from some other parents dropping off at the same time and on reflection I'm wondering whether it's looking like a safeguarding or neglect issue. She's always clean in herself, just her clothes could have any number of paint splodges over.

AIBU sending her in paint covered clothes, even if she is clean?

Its absolutely fine, we get children like this all the time as they have specific nursery clothes

A paint stained jumper wouldn't warrant any concern over neglect

MajorCarolDanvers · 23/03/2023 15:16

It's quite sensible.

Butteryflakycrust83 · 23/03/2023 15:31

I quickly learned how pointless it is for a toddler to have nice clothes, especially ones they wear to nursery. Everything she now wears is clean but stained!

concertgoer · 23/03/2023 15:43

More fool them!
carry on as you are. I would and did.

88Pandora88 · 23/03/2023 15:47

As someone who works in a nursery, I'd much rather kids be sent in wearing paint stained clothes than designer gear or bright white clothes. They are going to get messy whilst at nursery and if they don't then I'd be wondering what they've done whilst there!

Gincan · 23/03/2023 15:53

Heckythump1 · 23/03/2023 12:40

You need an Astonish stain remover bar.... honestly the best thing ever, gets off every single paint and whiteboard marker stain from my girls nursery/school uniform!

Oooo, I'll try that, thanks 😁every single one of DSs polo shirts has whiteboard marker on them. I'd love to know who decided white was a good colour for school uniform

kirsty2023 · 23/03/2023 15:58

FigsEverywhere · 23/03/2023 12:23

Daughter is approaching 3 and is at nursery. She loves it when they paint there and despite painting aprons, can end up with it on her t shirt, vest (??!), leggings, shoes etc. Even her coat has paint on the sleeves from painting outside.

I don't care about this - I only use hand me downs from the eldest, cousins or worst case, a bundle of playwear from vinted for nursery. Nothing she wears to go there has any particular value or sentiment.

I have never worried about the condition of her clothes or the state of cleanliness - I'd rather she has fun while I'm at work.

But this morning I sent her in a jumper that had paint over it - stained. It was perfectly clean, just had green paint splodges over the front. I got an odd look from some other parents dropping off at the same time and on reflection I'm wondering whether it's looking like a safeguarding or neglect issue. She's always clean in herself, just her clothes could have any number of paint splodges over.

AIBU sending her in paint covered clothes, even if she is clean?

I wouldn't worry about what other people think let them look my dd started nursery in December and I've lost count of how many times I've washed her coat and shoes as she always ends up painting them I just think well that's what kids do let them have fun Daffodil

fyn · 23/03/2023 16:07

Our nursery is the complete opposite, they come home everyday covered in all sorts. The uniform is handed down and usually has lots of crossed out names but the children all absolutely adore it.

Artichokepiglet · 23/03/2023 16:12

I don't think it's an issue - most nurseries make a point of telling you to send them in wearing old clothes anyway. If my son's clothes didn't have stains when I dropped him off they certainly would by the time I picked him up!

PrtScn · 23/03/2023 16:13

PlainJanePerfect · 23/03/2023 14:54

I sent mine with a shirt with a hole in it today. It's very cute but the little shark embroidery got a small tear. I'm not going to fix it because he's about to outgrow it anyway (and I'm crap with a needle). God we loved that top. He's so cute in it!

If nursery so much as raised an eyebrow I'd be surprised. I did say when they had a camera crew coming in, I wouldn't send him in his holey shark top. 🫣

Meanwhile they apologised to me for getting paint on his coat. I just shrugged. I think they appreciate a chilled out parent.

I quite often send mine in with worn knees. When they sometimes get ripped I just iron a patch over them.
Nursery haven’t said anything, and if a parent gave me an odd look I’d probably not notice or care if I did.
DS’s nursey is on a farm so he often comes home a right state.

Newnamenewname109870 · 23/03/2023 16:22

Totally normal! Nursery should be play clothes.

celticprincess · 23/03/2023 16:36

My 10 year old goes to school on quite a few stained pieces of uniform. Her white polo shirts only made it to Christmas this school year then I did bin them but by week 2 were covered in paint and whiteboard pen. New ones I bought in January are now also stained. Not bumming them though as they still fit and the non stained bits still look white!! Even her school cardigan is stained with various paints - she also brushed past our newly gloss painted doors so has some white gloss added to the combination. Even her black trousers aren’t exempt. I chucked 2 pairs that were getting slightly holes in them but the final straw was what appeared to be PVA glue or something of the similar colour that didn’t come out when washed all down one leg. She’s 10 and it’s still a nightmare. I’m hoping next year at secondary she will have less opportunities to stain her clothes!!

DevantMaJardin · 23/03/2023 16:46

YANBU OP, my nursery is like this as well, they made a MASH report because my child went in in stained clothes. Social services laughed it out of town.

Maryandherlamb · 23/03/2023 16:55

I send mine with his stained clothes. They're always clean, just with stains that won't wash out. They come back even more stained and he goes in them again. If I didn't his entire wardrobe would be stained!

tiaandduck · 23/03/2023 17:08

My daughter started nursery yesterday, they told me not to dress her in nice clothes as they will get paint and mud stained.
Let go of what others think, that's their issue. Love that your daughter can be as creative as she likes without worrying about mess.

Hall84 · 23/03/2023 17:17

Same here! I'm not replacing paint covered clothes just to get more muck on them. She has nursery clothes and everyday clothes - one of her jumpers was used by a little boy in her group for weeks until I noticed it was missing. His parents sent him in cream designer jumpers 🤷 we're still in touch with her keyworker that's left nursery and apparently it suits them too!

ktitten · 23/03/2023 20:24

Ime it's a very middle-class thing to not have to worry about sending your kids in with stained clothes haha. If you live in a nice area or otherwise come across that way, you'll be grand.

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