Not to know what people mean by "judging"

[AlisonHalligan]

Lots of threads on here about judging- Would you judge me for X? I judge people who do Y. etc etc.

I don't really know what people mean by "judge" in these posts. There's one at the moment in which someone asks whether people would judge her for having a fake bag. I might well notice someone's bag being fake but is that judging? I wouldn't buy a fake bag but I couldn't care less what bag someone else has. Similarly all the threads about judging parenting- I notice people doing things differently to me (eg kids on screens at a time when I wouldn't allow it) but I couldn't care less what other people do with their kids (assuming they're not abusing or neglecting them), just don't care at all. So is that judging?

Basically I don't know whether I'm really judgemental or completely non-judgemental 😆 If you ever talk about yourself judging someone for doing X or Y, what do you actually mean?

You are non judgemental

It usually means thinking badly of someone for their choices.

Similarly all the threads about judging parenting- I notice people doing things differently to me (eg kids on screens at a time when I wouldn't allow it) but I couldn't care less what other people do with their kids (assuming they're not abusing or neglecting them), just don't care at all. So is that judging?

In that instance if you were judgemental you would be thinking probably something along the lines of 'I would never allow my kids to have screens like that, I am a much better parent'.

It's thinking someone is stupid or bad for doing something. I don't really judge people for things that don't affect me personally, although I do think anyone who smokes or vapes is very very stupid (and I suppose it can affect me if I end up inhaling it too).

I’ll admit I judged someone this morning for coming into cafe Nero in their slippers. My internal monologue being ‘that’s so lazy, how hard is it to put shoes on’.

I know logically they could have a very could reason, but my gut reaction was to judge.

Other people are judgmental about things like not-ironing and not changing the bedding once a week and I wouldn’t judge at all for that! We’re all different, and some judgmental things are irrational.

Judge is a very loaded word, often used by people as an attempt to silence other people to stop them from objecting to their questionable (bad) behavior.

it’s also made its way into common parlance just to mean have an unfavorable opinion, whether that opinion is stated or not. Again, it gets used in this context to mean I don’t want to hear your negative opinions.

what it means depends on the context.

Would you judge me for wearing this jumper means I’m slightly unsure about the jumper, what do you think, and more importantly, would your opinion about it be negative?

Don’t judge me for wearing this jumper means they feel insecure about their sartorial choice so they don’t want to hear your opinion in case it confirms it does indeed look hideous.

Man who identifies as a woman goes to work wearing massive fake tits hanging out of a low-cut top and a skirt so tight you can see his semi, don’t judge means shut up bitch.

Judging means judging somebody to be doing something wrong.

I wouldn't judge someone for having a non-designer bag because I don't care about labels.

I would probably judge someone if they were screaming at/hitting/dragging their child because I think that's terrible parenting.

You must have some opinions about things that people are doing wrong?

Although it's not really ultimately very helpful (surely the person doing crap parenting would do better if they could/knew how to/had the resources to etc)