Single parents

[Washingforweeks]

Hi everyone this is my first time posting. I love reading the various threads daily!
for abit of background info I have 3 children age 3, 7 and 12. My most recent relationship (dad of 3yo) broke down as he was violent and mentally abusive. I managed to leave and we have been living just me and the kids for the best part of a year now. I feel so good and so much better- not ready to date at all yet. Kids are so much happier too- I have this overwhelming feeling though that I’m not doing enough and that I’m not enough. The guilt that I feel that we are a broken family is overwhelming, I constantly feel stressed out and like I’m just about treading water. The kids all go to their dads on the same weekend Friday-Sunday every other weekend. I tend to just spend this time feeling guilty about how I’ve snapped at them or what I could be doing better. Is anyone else in this situation? If so what did you do to become a better parent?
yabu- it’s normal to feel this way
yanbu- you need to do better

thanks in advance for anyone who replies
( I don’t have much family I can rely on-my mums out the pic and my dads an alcoholic)

thank you :)

You’re doing well. It’s hard parenting on your own. The fact you are happier now you are away from the abuse will benefit your children. I’m a single parent and it can be overwhelming-we just have less of all resources- time, money, childcare, shareable skills - I spent 3 hours today trying to figure out a laptop problem!! I don’t know why 50% have voted yanbu. Well done.

The fact that you even worry about being or doing enough tells me you are always thinking about your kids. Am pretty sure crap parents don’t ever stop to consider that. I’m a single mum to teens and constantly worry that I’m not the best I can be - but I love them, they seem to like me (mostly) and we’re all surviving. Be kind to yourself ☺️

Single parents have always existed. Even though some like to write us out of HISstory.

Whether widowed, divorced, bereaved, survivors of emotional, physical and/or financial abuse, we are heads of household in one in four families in this country.

It is tough navigating stereotypes, and in the middle of the night or early morning, you will probably feel that weight of responsiblity where the buck stops and it's up to you to move your family forward.

You are not a broken family, you are a family. You are doing the right thing focussing on that and when you get a chance to have some space in your head, you may find that your version of 'treading water' is making your family flourish.

3, 7 and 12 are very interesting ages.

My advice right now would be prepared for the teenage years and surround yourself with a support network.

I honestly do think that a support network for single parents looks different - to others as we need to access it at times and places we can. Which might be odd hours of the day when we have a moment.

There are more of us than you might imagine.